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Thread: Age gaps - how much is too much

  1. #1
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    Age gaps - how much is too much

    I just found out that an actor I really enjoyed in The Green Mile, Doug Hutchison as Percy Wetmore, was born in 1960. His bride is 16.

    Thoughts?

    http://www.radaronline.com/exclusive...-hutchison-get
    Last edited by BDBoop; 06-22-11 at 01:36 AM.

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    Re: Age gaps - how much is too much

    I think every relationship is unique. I also don't believe that all age gaps are equal. Say you have a 15 year age gap. One person is 18 while the other is 33. I would say this is significant. Now, say we have someone who is 50 and another who is 65. I don't think this is as significant. I believe the older the two individuals are, the less significant the age gap is.

    Each relationship is unique. From the looks of things it would seem that Hutchinson is probably a pervert who only likes his bride for her youth and she may only like him for his fame (not my place to judge, just pointing something out). Would they be together if she wasn't 16 and he wasn't famous? I think if a couple truly loves each other then age shouldn't be a destructive factor to their relationship. I know some girls who want to date men who are significantly older then them because they believe older men are wiser, more respectful, and will be able to provide for their possibly family better than someone their age (I am talking about girls in their late teens and younger twenties). I don't think this is wrong. I guess in a short answer: it all depends on the relationship and the people involved.
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    Re: Age gaps - how much is too much

    That's... a bit wrong. I admit to having had some pretty significant age gaps in a couple of my relationships, but not 35 years and not when I was in my mid-teens.

    There is a huge maturity gap here. I can't think of any reason someone that old would want to be with a minor teen, other than how much easier it would be to manipulate her. In many ways she's still a child. There's something very off about this.

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    Re: Age gaps - how much is too much

    Quote Originally Posted by digsbe View Post
    I don't think this is wrong. I guess in a short answer: it all depends on the relationship and the people involved.

    If you had a 16 year-old daughter, would you be comfortable with her dating a man who is older than you are? Her father was 31 when she was born, and is four years younger than her husband.

    I remember how protective I was of my daughter. No way would she be dating someone eleven years older than I.
    Last edited by BDBoop; 06-22-11 at 01:45 AM.

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    Re: Age gaps - how much is too much

    Quote Originally Posted by BDBoop View Post
    If you had a 16 year-old daughter, would you be comfortable with her dating a man who is older than you are? Her father was 31 when she was born, and is four years younger than her husband.

    I remember how protective I was of my daughter. No way would she be dating someone eleven years older than I.
    I would be extremely uncomfortable with that. I wouldn't let my daughter date someone with such an age difference. I do think that in this situation the age gap is a major factor and a red flag. However, my post is aimed at other relationships as well and not discounting age factors in other relationships.
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    Re: Age gaps - how much is too much

    What matters is that the relationship is a healthy one.

    Personally I would like to stick to someone in my age group.
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    Re: Age gaps - how much is too much

    Quote Originally Posted by digsbe View Post
    I would be extremely uncomfortable with that. I wouldn't let my daughter date someone with such an age difference. I do think that in this situation the age gap is a major factor and a red flag. However, my post is aimed at other relationships as well and not discounting age factors in other relationships.
    Understood. But even from my lofty perch - I at 53 (in five days) canNOT see myself with someone who is 88. I just can't. I can't see how two people can bridge such a momentous gap. What would they have in common?

    I'm having a really tough time wrapping my brain around this one, even allowing for the possibility that situations such as "Somewhere in Time" can occur.

    Even now, I'm going "30 to 65? No. ... 40 to 75? ... NO ..." See what I mean?
    Last edited by BDBoop; 06-22-11 at 01:51 AM.

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    Re: Age gaps - how much is too much

    “Age is not important unless you're a cheese.” -Helen Hayes

    I like this quote. As long as it is legal I don't care about age.
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    Re: Age gaps - how much is too much

    One of my cousin's children has a father that is at least 27 years older than my cousin. He is also older than her parents. It is very weird but they haven't been together in about 8 years.

    My stepmother used to babysit my father when he was a child. They are 13 years apart. But she is also nuts. None of us kids can stand her. My husband pointed out to me when he first saw her that she resembles a yard gnome, so now that is what we call her, the yard gnome.

    I wouldn't call it sick, but it is weird. I agree with the whole healthy relationship thing. If it is a healthy relationship, then it should be fine and age shouldn't matter. If it they wouldn't be together if not for the age difference, then it probably isn't a healthy relationship, but there are other things that could make it unhealthy also.
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    Re: Age gaps - how much is too much

    i'm 22 years older than my wife. she was over 18 when i met her, though.
    we have a great marriage. the life span thing is the only real concern. our daughter
    is 18 months old. there's always the unspoken concern of whether or not i'll
    be there to see her graduate and all that. it's like the only downside i see to
    my own situation, regarding the matter.
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