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Age gaps - how much is too much

Is a 34-year age difference

  • Sick

    Votes: 6 27.3%
  • What's the problem

    Votes: 3 13.6%
  • Not sure

    Votes: 8 36.4%
  • Don't care

    Votes: 5 22.7%

  • Total voters
    22
I think every relationship is unique. I also don't believe that all age gaps are equal. Say you have a 15 year age gap. One person is 18 while the other is 33. I would say this is significant. Now, say we have someone who is 50 and another who is 65. I don't think this is as significant. I believe the older the two individuals are, the less significant the age gap is.

Each relationship is unique. From the looks of things it would seem that Hutchinson is probably a pervert who only likes his bride for her youth and she may only like him for his fame (not my place to judge, just pointing something out). Would they be together if she wasn't 16 and he wasn't famous? I think if a couple truly loves each other then age shouldn't be a destructive factor to their relationship. I know some girls who want to date men who are significantly older then them because they believe older men are wiser, more respectful, and will be able to provide for their possibly family better than someone their age (I am talking about girls in their late teens and younger twenties). I don't think this is wrong. I guess in a short answer: it all depends on the relationship and the people involved.
 
That's... a bit wrong. I admit to having had some pretty significant age gaps in a couple of my relationships, but not 35 years and not when I was in my mid-teens.

There is a huge maturity gap here. I can't think of any reason someone that old would want to be with a minor teen, other than how much easier it would be to manipulate her. In many ways she's still a child. There's something very off about this.
 
I don't think this is wrong. I guess in a short answer: it all depends on the relationship and the people involved.


If you had a 16 year-old daughter, would you be comfortable with her dating a man who is older than you are? Her father was 31 when she was born, and is four years younger than her husband.

I remember how protective I was of my daughter. No way would she be dating someone eleven years older than I.
 
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If you had a 16 year-old daughter, would you be comfortable with her dating a man who is older than you are? Her father was 31 when she was born, and is four years younger than her husband.

I remember how protective I was of my daughter. No way would she be dating someone eleven years older than I.

I would be extremely uncomfortable with that. I wouldn't let my daughter date someone with such an age difference. I do think that in this situation the age gap is a major factor and a red flag. However, my post is aimed at other relationships as well and not discounting age factors in other relationships.
 
What matters is that the relationship is a healthy one.

Personally I would like to stick to someone in my age group.
 
I would be extremely uncomfortable with that. I wouldn't let my daughter date someone with such an age difference. I do think that in this situation the age gap is a major factor and a red flag. However, my post is aimed at other relationships as well and not discounting age factors in other relationships.

Understood. But even from my lofty perch ;) - I at 53 (in five days) canNOT see myself with someone who is 88. I just can't. I can't see how two people can bridge such a momentous gap. What would they have in common?

I'm having a really tough time wrapping my brain around this one, even allowing for the possibility that situations such as "Somewhere in Time" can occur.

Even now, I'm going "30 to 65? No. ... 40 to 75? ... NO ..." See what I mean?
 
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“Age is not important unless you're a cheese.” -Helen Hayes

I like this quote. As long as it is legal I don't care about age.
 
One of my cousin's children has a father that is at least 27 years older than my cousin. He is also older than her parents. It is very weird but they haven't been together in about 8 years.

My stepmother used to babysit my father when he was a child. They are 13 years apart. But she is also nuts. None of us kids can stand her. My husband pointed out to me when he first saw her that she resembles a yard gnome, so now that is what we call her, the yard gnome.

I wouldn't call it sick, but it is weird. I agree with the whole healthy relationship thing. If it is a healthy relationship, then it should be fine and age shouldn't matter. If it they wouldn't be together if not for the age difference, then it probably isn't a healthy relationship, but there are other things that could make it unhealthy also.
 
i'm 22 years older than my wife. she was over 18 when i met her, though.
we have a great marriage. the life span thing is the only real concern. our daughter
is 18 months old. there's always the unspoken concern of whether or not i'll
be there to see her graduate and all that. it's like the only downside i see to
my own situation, regarding the matter.
 
There are several kinds of relationships - equal partners, teacher-student, etc. So, it depends. :)
 
I had a friend in the 9th grade who was married - dropped out of school becaus she was pregnant. . . .that age gap and overall situation was unacceptable to me. I oppose child brides. .. but it's not the age of the older individual - rather - the age of the younger of the two and the life they've lived (maturity - big factor)

However - looking at this particular girl . . . her whole life has been pushed ahead several years - a model, pageant winner - she's been living an adult life for several years - her getting married seems like nothing in comparison to the other things she's done. Some kids graduate college at the age of 16 because htey're exceptional. The bigger issue here is: can she handle it? Is she mature enough? . . I could care less how old HE is.

Taht being said - my parents **** a brick when they found out my husband was 11 years older than me (and we were both adults - 22 / 33 respectivel when we married)
 
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There are several kinds of relationships - equal partners, teacher-student, etc. So, it depends. :)

I'm referring to marriage between a teen and a man almost old enough to be her grandfather.
 
I had a friend in the 9th grade who was married - dropped out of school becaus she was pregnant. . . .that age gap and overall situation was unacceptable to me. I oppose child brides. .. but it's not the age of the older individual - rather - the age of the younger of the two and the life they've lived (maturity - big factor)

However - looking at this particular girl . . . her whole life has been pushed ahead several years - a model, pageant winner - she's been living an adult life for several years - her getting married seems like nothing in comparison to the other things she's done. Some kids graduate college at the age of 16 because htey're exceptional. The bigger issue here is: can she handle it? Is she mature enough? . . I could care less how old HE is.

Taht being said - my parents **** a brick when they found out my husband was 11 years older than me (and we were both adults - 22 / 33 respectivel when we married)

Now, my daughter's first husband was ten years her senior. That went badly, *thank you, alcohol!*. Her husband of one year is two or three years younger than her, and they are fantabulous together.
 
i'm 22 years older than my wife. she was over 18 when i met her, though.
we have a great marriage. the life span thing is the only real concern. our daughter
is 18 months old. there's always the unspoken concern of whether or not i'll
be there to see her graduate and all that. it's like the only downside i see to
my own situation, regarding the matter.

It's a logical concern. How's the longevity in your family? Of course, everybody knows that there are no guarantees we're even going to see the sunset tonight, regardless. Witness Ryan Dunn.
 
Now, my daughter's first husband was ten years her senior. That went badly, *thank you, alcohol!*. Her husband of one year is two or three years younger than her, and they are fantabulous together.

REverse for me - alcohol and other drugs trashed my first marriage and he was my same age . .. and my ex boyfriend.

It's a maturity issue all around - some people are mature and good matches for eachother - others aren't.

The only issues I've had with our age difference is that he's having issues because of it - his years have caught up to him. . .cancer and all sorts of other things have replaced wild nights and lap dances.
 
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It's a logical concern. How's the longevity in your family? Of course, everybody knows that there are no guarantees we're even going to see the sunset tonight, regardless. Witness Ryan Dunn.

i was adopted at birth. i really don't know the genetic medical history.
i'm pretty "young" for my age, though. lol. both physically AND mentally.
 
I just found out that an actor I really enjoyed in The Green Mile, Doug Hutchison as Percy Wetmore, was born in 1960. His bride is 16.

Thoughts?

16-Year-Old Bride Courtney Alexis Stodden
Age ain't nothing but a number as long as both parties involved meet the legal requirements. That said I would not date anyone 35 years older than me and I wouldn't date and or marry anyone under 18.
 
i was adopted at birth. i really don't know the genetic medical history.
i'm pretty "young" for my age, though. lol. both physically AND mentally.

You do come across as young. :) And I hear ya. My dad's not my bio dad, and my mom's adopted. I did find my bio dad's family, and there is some longevity to be hoped for.
 
I'm referring to marriage between a teen and a man almost old enough to be her grandfather.

Come on now, 34 is just the perfect years to marry (for a man that is). But I don't really know if a 16 old girl has the ability to take the right decision. She is still a teenager, for God sake.
 
I just found out that an actor I really enjoyed in The Green Mile, Doug Hutchison as Percy Wetmore, was born in 1960. His bride is 16.

Well, unfortunately Hutchison looks a bit creepy and has acted as some pretty creepy characters (noticeably in X-files) so it adds to a picture there might be of him being a child predator.

I wonder though - Liz Taylor was 20 years older than Larry Fortensky when they married (59 and 39 years), Joan Collins was 32 years older than Percy Gibson when they married (68 to 36) and Hugh Hefner is 85 and would have married a model 60 years his junior at 25.

Are we really only creeped out because Hutchison's bride is just 16? I admit I wouldn't be bothered if she was 20 so do we raise the age of marriage to at least 20?
 
Come on now, 34 is just the perfect years to marry (for a man that is). But I don't really know if a 16 old girl has the ability to take the right decision. She is still a teenager, for God sake.

He's not 34. He's 35 years older than her. He's 51.
 
Well, unfortunately Hutchison looks a bit creepy and has acted as some pretty creepy characters (noticeably in X-files) so it adds to a picture there might be of him being a child predator.

I wonder though - Liz Taylor was 20 years older than Larry Fortensky when they married (59 and 39 years), Joan Collins was 32 years older than Percy Gibson when they married (68 to 36) and Hugh Hefner is 85 and would have married a model 60 years his junior at 25.

Are we really only creeped out because Hutchison's bride is just 16? I admit I wouldn't be bothered if she was 20 so do we raise the age of marriage to at least 20?

I can only speak for myself, and yes. The rest of them, they're all adults. If they find some common ground, viva la difference, and long live love! But this just feels ewww.
 
He's not 34. He's 35 years older than her. He's 51.

I know that. You have specified 34 in you poll. I just wanted to point out that this age difference is enough to be her father but hardly her grandfather.

Btw, ancient Greek standards for marriage are as follows:

man - 35
woman - 25

Cheers! :)
 
I know that. You have specified 34 in you poll. I just wanted to point out that this age difference is enough to be her father but hardly her grandfather.

Btw, ancient Greek standards for marriage are as follows:

man - 35
woman - 25 :)

Cheers!

Close enough. 17 on each can easily be done. Ten years? No big.
 
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