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The north wasn't much better in terms of representative government. The US didn't become a de jure democracy until 1920, and a de facto democracy until the mid-1960s. Prior to that, the US was at best an oligarchy and at worst a totalitarian dictatorship, depending on where you lived and who you were.
My point isn't that the north was so much better than the south in terms of democracy, it's that all the talk about "states' rights" in the context of slavery is bull****, because A) basic rights are not subject to a vote, and B) the state had no democratic legitimacy to enslave its residents or secede from the country anyway.
You're cheating yourself by looking at the period from a 21st Century perspective.