After a year or so, I figured out how to get rid of my hatred (and incidentally, it was exactly what theplaydrive said - through understanding) 2 or 3 years ago. And I am still rebuilding parts of myself that it destroyed. I probably will be for another few years.
It's not easy. In the moment, it can seem like it hurts worse than just letting yourself hate. But even the memory of it is making me feel ill, and I am so glad I do not live like that anymore.
It's worth the effort.