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Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

Is cyber sex/sexting cheating

  • Total voters
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cpwill said:
Interesting series of calls from those on the Left for Weiner to resign and/or wait for the investigation to see if he used House resources.

even Ed Schultz says he should step down.
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So what? Ed Schultz is nothing more than a blow hard talk show host.
 
pbrauer said:
NO! It's a marriage based upon trust, they do happen you know?
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I'm sorry, but the way you were talking, it sounded like you were advocating open marriage, to a point. i.e., you can cheat as long as it's not physical, aka it's not cheating as long as it's only emotional.
 
pbrauer said:
I don't believe I said it was okay. I do believe that is not as serious as finding her in the sack with another guy. And after 39 years of marriage "I've never had that situation come up.
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I'm glad. I know there are many good marriages out there. I just got double-whammied out of mine. Any level he could find to cheat on, he cheated. I think he became somebody he wasn't so he could be with me, and now that he's reverted, he's with her.
 
I am happy to see the number of people who have posted here that have a moral compass the seems to work.
 
BDBoop said:
I'm glad. I know there are many good marriages out there. I just got double-whammied out of mine. Any level he could find to cheat on, he cheated. I think he became somebody he wasn't so he could be with me, and now that he's reverted, he's with her.
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I am sorry to hear about that, now I know where you are coming from. :(
 
cpwill said:
Interesting series of calls from those on the Left for Weiner to resign and/or wait for the investigation to see if he used House resources.

even Ed Schultz says he should step down.
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And i have said all along Ed Schultz is an idiot and an ass. AS long as he broke no laws, he should not be expected to step down.
 
Redress said:
No it is not

/thread to infinity.

See how stupid making random claims and saying it ends the argument is?
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Seems like you are making a similar argument as Bill Clinton did when he claimed that oral sex isn't really sex. If people are getting some kind of sexual stimulation from cyber sex...if it walks like a duck...then...
 
Removable Mind said:
Seems like you are making a similar argument as Bill Clinton did when he claimed that oral sex isn't really sex. If people are getting some kind of sexual stimulation from cyber sex...if it walks like a duck...then...
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absolutely wrong.
 
Removable Mind said:
Seems like you are making a similar argument as Bill Clinton did when he claimed that oral sex isn't really sex. If people are getting some kind of sexual stimulation from cyber sex...if it walks like a duck...then...
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Actually my argument, if you read the thread, is that it is up to each couple to decide what constitutes cheating and what doesn't. Ain't my place to tell others how to live their lives. You would know this if you read the thread.
 
Redress said:
No it is not

/thread to infinity.

See how stupid making random claims and saying it ends the argument is?
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Well then I guess that's a difference between me and you. I think lying to your spouse behind thier back "sxting" with another person is a betrayal of trust, You don't.


I'll let that just sit as it is.



/thread=
internet_serious_mf_business.jpg



:roll:
 
So you are claiming to know what he and his wife have said to each other now? Live in their house do you? When you claim /thread, you should at least be making a some what reasoned point.
 
Redress said:
So you are claiming to know what he and his wife have said to each other now? Live in their house do you? When you claim /thread, you should at least be making a some what reasoned point.
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Who Wiener?


Then why the apologies, and the admittance of guilt?


Seriously?


If they had some sort of "it's ok hun, go sxt and send your junk to ladies on the interwebz" conversation, they would have said that, instead of wiener lying, then admitting, crying, and then admitting it, apologizing to his wife and crying on camera.


Is that "reasoned" enough for you, bro?
 
That is all assumptions. You have completely and entirely failed to end this thread, and made no reasoned arguments to support your position. I don't agree with other people's positions here, but at least they managed to support them. Everything you have posted here has been assumptions based on what you want to be true, and your declaration that you thought should end the thread because you made it.

Hint: what Weiner says in public may not be the same as he says in private. Oops, there goes your argument.
 
Redress said:
Actually my argument, if you read the thread, is that it is up to each couple to decide what constitutes cheating and what doesn't. Ain't my place to tell others how to live their lives. You would know this if you read the thread.
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Okay, I'll concede to your argument for the moment.

But I ask you...what percentage of couple today have what is termed as an "open relationship"? And how many of those couple terminate their relationship because eventually that type of relationship fails?

Providing sources would be helpful if you answer.
 
Redress said:
That is all assumptions. You have completely and entirely failed to end this thread, and made no reasoned arguments to support your position. I don't agree with other people's positions here, but at least they managed to support them. Everything you have posted here has been assumptions based on what you want to be true, and your declaration that you thought should end the thread because you made it.

Hint: what Weiner says in public may not be the same as he says in private. Oops, there goes your argument.
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Really? This is what you are passing off as an argument? :lamo



So why the dog and pony show. What's the end game if he's lyng to us about what his wife didn't know.


And no, it's not based on assumptions, it's based on what Anthony weiner has STATED.


Jeesh. :lamo
 
Might it have been a good point to make while running for office? "I am a firm believer in open marriages. My wife and I only got married for the tax breaks."
 
Like Bill Clinton getting a BJ in the Oral office, Weiner being a weiner and posting his weiner (see...THIS is why the democrats should want him to step down) was not the crime. Slimey...scummy...but not the crime. The fact is though that he lied about it and then allowed aother individual to be blamed. He made an accusation and allegation that a crime had occured. So, like Bill lying under oath while on trial for sexual harassment of another person, its not the act...its the lie...the cover up...that always does them in.
 
BDBoop said:
Might it have been a good point to make while running for office? "I am a firm believer in open marriages. My wife and I only got married for the tax breaks."
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I'm sure that would have gone over well.

Seriously the way things have gotten, political vetting for appointments must now include a candidate's cyber history.
 
VanceMack said:
Like Bill Clinton getting a BJ in the Oral office, Weiner being a weiner and posting his weiner (see...THIS is why the democrats should want him to step down) was not the crime. Slimey...scummy...but not the crime. The fact is though that he lied about it and then allowed aother individual to be blamed. He made an accusation and allegation that a crime had occured. So, like Bill lying under oath while on trial for sexual harassment of another person, its not the act...its the lie...the cover up...that always does them in.
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VMack...I pretty much agree with you, but Bill Clinton did try to save his ass by claiming that oral sex isn't really having sex. He like to think of it as "oral masturbation".

But the following is really interesting...

The survey involved 477 undergraduate students, mostly white heterosexual females, enrolled in a human sexuality class. The majority (98%) of participants was age 24 or younger; the average age was 20.7 years.

The participants answered the following question:

"Would you say you 'had sex' with someone if the most intimate behavior you engaged in was ..."

• Penile-vaginal intercourse?
• Penile-anal intercourse?
• Oral contact with partner’s genitals?
• Partner’s oral contact with your genitals?
• Partner touches your genitals?
• You touch partner’s genitals?
• Oral contact with partner’s breasts/nipples?
• You touch partner’s breasts/nipples?
• Deep kissing?
• Partner’s oral contact with your breasts/nipples?
• Partner touches your breasts/nipples?

Among the survey’s notable findings:

• Only 20% of those surveyed said oral contact with their partner’s genitals would constitute sex. (or 80% don't believe that oral sex is having sex)

• Less than 80% of participants considered penile-anal intercourse as sex.

Males were much more likely than females to say sex included the following behaviors:

• Their partner touched their genitals (13% vs. 7%).
• Orally stimulating a partner’s breasts or nipples (9% vs. 4%).
• Touching a partner’s breast or nipples (8% vs. 3%).
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Source: Most Young Adults: Oral Sex Is Not Sex - CBS News
 
Removable Mind said:
Okay, I'll concede to your argument for the moment.

But I ask you...what percentage of couple today have what is termed as an "open relationship"? And how many of those couple terminate their relationship because eventually that type of relationship fails?

Providing sources would be helpful if you answer.
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No clue and entirely irrelevant to my argument.
 
tessaesque said:
If the boyfriend started secretly sexting with another girl we'd have a serious trust issue on our hands. I have no problem with him looking at porn, going to strip clubs, or even receiving a "happy ending" at a massage parlor. He's pretty free to receive extraneous "jollies". Hidden, secretive actions are unacceptable for me.
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This is what it boils down to IMO. It is the trust issue. If the relationship has enough trust (and is open enough) that online/texting flirtation is not a violation of that trust, and it was not something that was hidden because it overstepped the boundaries of the relationship, then no it is not cheating.

If there is a betrayal of trust and an overstepping of boundaries (not others boundaries, but the distinct boundaries of the specific relationship), or a feeling of "I better hide this from my SO" then there are issues.

So basically there is no black and white answer as others have said, it depends on the relationship, and is a matter of determination solely by the parties effected. Others projecting their views or their relationships to the situation is irrelevant.
 
marduc said:
This is what it boils down to IMO. It is the trust issue. If the relationship has enough trust (and is open enough) that online/texting flirtation is not a violation of that trust, and it was not something that was hidden because it overstepped the boundaries of the relationship, then no it is not cheating.

If there is a betrayal of trust and an overstepping of boundaries (not others boundaries, but the distinct boundaries of the specific relationship), or a feeling of "I better hide this from my SO" then there are issues.

So basically there is no black and white answer as others have said, it depends on the relationship, and is a matter of determination solely by the parties effected. Others projecting their views or their relationships to the situation is irrelevant.
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That's fine in theory between the couple in question. I'd like to hear from anyone who has such an agreement in place with their spouse.

What rules are in place for dealing with the third party? Are they given all the facts about the marriage? If it goes beyond flirting, for them, what mechanism is in place to protect them from emotional pain?
 
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