• This is a political forum that is non-biased/non-partisan and treats every person's position on topics equally. This debate forum is not aligned to any political party. In today's politics, many ideas are split between and even within all the political parties. Often we find ourselves agreeing on one platform but some topics break our mold. We are here to discuss them in a civil political debate. If this is your first visit to our political forums, be sure to check out the RULES. Registering for debate politics is necessary before posting. Register today to participate - it's free!

Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

Is cyber sex/sexting cheating


  • Total voters
    47
i think as a general rule, if the subject was never talked about... it can be considered as cheating. Now if you already discussed the matter beforehand then depends on what you discussed.

"Honey, I'm finding there are all these young women online. I'm interested in striking up flirtatious conversatons with several of them, maybe sending them pix of me in my skivvies. Cool with you?"

Who has that conversation?
 
Last edited:
"Honey, I'm finding there are all these young women online. I'm interested in striking up flirtatious conversatons with several of them, maybe sending them pix of me in my skivvies. Cool with you?"

Who has that conversation?

People who don't take vows seriously.
 
"Honey, I'm finding there are all these young women online. I'm interested in striking up flirtatious conversatons with several of them, maybe sending them pix of me in my skivvies. Cool with you?"

Who has that conversation?
borderline swingers
 
The bond between man and wife isn't just physical, but emotional as well. Making that kind of emotional or physical bond with someone else is cheating. Don't you think?

Let me tell you a story. This is all 100 % true. When I played Everquest, I was in a guild with a married couple. Awesome people, think the world of them. The wife of the bunch(played an incredible bard), had been in auto accident which left her in a wheelchair, not fully paralyzed, but unable to use her legs well enough to ever walk again. Her husband, who was also awesome, never wavered in his support of her.

Life in a wheelchair caused her to quickly gain some weight, and she felt like much less than a whole woman. About all she could do during sex any more was lay there, her muscles would not coordinate enough that if she tried to move and respond, she would thrash about and make things worse. She started doing cybersex with a couple of the guys ingame, because it made her feel attractive and almost whole again. Her husband knew about it(they have computers in the same room), and not just accepted but encouraged her because it clearly made her happier. He told her as long as it just online, he didn't care, but no other guy was gunna touch her in real life.

So you tell me, cheating or not? Right or wrong?

By the way, as a side note: she has discovered computer generated art, and does artwork now based on fractals. Very successful, has done showings in multiple cities and sells a surprising amount of her art. They have two kids(boys) who also play games online and are just excellent, polite kids who often come across more mature than many of the adult gamers. Some of the most decent people I know, and it is a privilege to call them friends.
 
A relationship where emotional and/or physical bonds with other people is encouraged/permitted/etc. doesn't seem like much of a relationship to me.

And that's perfectly fine, for you. For other people it might not be a good thing. Everyone's different.
 
Let me tell you a story. This is all 100 % true. When I played Everquest, I was in a guild with a married couple. Awesome people, think the world of them. The wife of the bunch(played an incredible bard), had been in auto accident which left her in a wheelchair, not fully paralyzed, but unable to use her legs well enough to ever walk again. Her husband, who was also awesome, never wavered in his support of her.

Life in a wheelchair caused her to quickly gain some weight, and she felt like much less than a whole woman. About all she could do during sex any more was lay there, her muscles would not coordinate enough that if she tried to move and respond, she would thrash about and make things worse. She started doing cybersex with a couple of the guys ingame, because it made her feel attractive and almost whole again. Her husband knew about it(they have computers in the same room), and not just accepted but encouraged her because it clearly made her happier. He told her as long as it just online, he didn't care, but no other guy was gunna touch her in real life.

So you tell me, cheating or not? Right or wrong?

By the way, as a side note: she has discovered computer generated art, and does artwork now based on fractals. Very successful, has done showings in multiple cities and sells a surprising amount of her art. They have two kids(boys) who also play games online and are just excellent, polite kids who often come across more mature than many of the adult gamers. Some of the most decent people I know, and it is a privilege to call them friends.

Did the guys know her situation? Just curious.
 
I don't think we here can determine if cybersex or sexting is cheating.. Alot depends on the relationship.. That being said.. All we can really say is would it be wrong for our relationships.. We don't know what kind of relationship Weiner has with his wife.. That is between him and his wife..

Red: The couple you know sounds a lot like a couple I know.. But they play WOW.. I guess they could play both.. Still weird.. It would be freaky if it turned out to be the same couple..
 
Did the guys know her situation? Just curious.

You know, I dunno. Probably not. I did not for the longest time. Then one night we had a multi hour talk and she just vented and explained and stuff.
 
borderline swingers

Borderline swingers and people who don't take their vows seriously are good answers, but this is becoming a very common thing, and my guess is there is rarely permission sought beforehand. In those cases, it is certainly a form of cheating.
 
Last edited:
The comment about vows: different people have different expectations about what their "vows" mean. A couple who have the understanding that affairs are ok, but be discrete and don't catch anything, are they not taking their vows serious if that is their mutual agreement? I am very old fashioned about marriage. However, I don't expect others to hold the same ideals of marriage as I do.
 
You know, I dunno. Probably not. I did not for the longest time. Then one night we had a multi hour talk and she just vented and explained and stuff.

Got it. I ask because it occurs to me that, if an emotional bond was formed, or felt on the part of one of the guys, then there may have been some deception on her part - not of her husband, but of the other guy.

Look I'm no saint, I'm just saying, this stuff is like playing with fire. People get hurt, and not just the ones in the marriage.
 
Got it. I ask because it occurs to me that, if an emotional bond was formed, or felt on the part of one of the guys, then there may have been some deception on her part - not of her husband, but of the other guy.

Look I'm no saint, I'm just saying, this stuff is like playing with fire. People get hurt, and not just the ones in the marriage.

People get hurt when they have unrealistic expectations. Every one also knew that her and her husband where sitting within a few feet of each other at the time, and every one knew she was devoted to her husband and vice versa.
 
People get hurt when they have unrealistic expectations. Every one also knew that her and her husband where sitting within a few feet of each other at the time, and every one knew she was devoted to her husband and vice versa.

All well and good, then. I can't argue against individual anecdotes. On any topic.
 
It bothers me that the woman felt she needed other men besides her husband to make her feel "whole" again. I tend to think she only felt that way because the men didn't know she couldn't walk so it was a fantasy for her.

Doesn't matter to me, though. If I had an emotional or physical bond with another man whether it be online or off, I would be cheating on my husband.

Just curious....did the husband do the same as his wife?
 
If someone goes to a strip club once for a bachelor party or some type of guys night out... and gets a really hot lap dance, then goes home and makes passionate love to his wife... That's not cheating.

But if someone goes to a strip club weekly, spending the grocery money... I'd say there's a problem.

Wiener had 6 of these online flings? Was it taking away from time at work? Was it taking away from time at home? Was he looking to take if farther?

He didn't break the law, but it's hard to say if he broke is vows.
 
It bothers me that the woman felt she needed other men besides her husband to make her feel "whole" again. I tend to think she only felt that way because the men didn't know she couldn't walk so it was a fantasy for her.

It was very definitely a fantasy for her.

Doesn't matter to me, though. If I had an emotional or physical bond with another man whether it be online or off, I would be cheating on my husband.

That is you, that does not mean for other couples it would be.

Just curious....did the husband do the same as his wife?

Not that I ever heard of.
 
Disappointed I didn't post this earlier in this thread.
 
I don't think we here can determine if cybersex or sexting is cheating.. Alot depends on the relationship.. That being said.. All we can really say is would it be wrong for our relationships.. We don't know what kind of relationship Weiner has with his wife.. That is between him and his wife..

Red: The couple you know sounds a lot like a couple I know.. But they play WOW.. I guess they could play both.. Still weird.. It would be freaky if it turned out to be the same couple..

I didn't hear him say she was aware of any of this and not bothered by it. Those would have been the first words out of my mouth in that situation, provided that was the case. And didn't he say he "let her down," or some such?
 
The conversation is reminding me of a line from one of my favorite movies, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

I love the line where the old lady tells the reporter that she considered it a break for her when her husband visited the Chicken Ranch. And this one that I think is from Miss Mona (Dolly Parton) "Oh Fred, you mean to tell me you don't think the cows don't appreciate the time off when a bull goes over to the other pasture?"
 
The bond between man and wife isn't just physical, but emotional as well. Making that kind of emotional or physical bond with someone else is cheating. Don't you think?
'

Sorry, its not a black and white issue to me, it comes down to how one defines 'cheating.' Having a physical sexual relationship outside of your marriage is serious and may warrant divorce. I don't believe 'sexting' rises to that level, but that is me.
 
It cuts both ways. If you both agree to it that's one thing, but even then there's usually a line that once crossed isn't mutually agreeable. I'm thinking Weiner crossed that line in his relationship.
 
So if you found out that your wife couldn't stop thinking about another guy, and she was always chatting with him on IM or phone, and sharing things she doesn't tell you anymore, it's okay because it's not physical?
I don't believe I said it was okay. I do believe that is not as serious as finding her in the sack with another guy. And after 39 years of marriage "I've never had that situation come up.
 
My wife would pull a Bobbit on me if I even thought of cybering/sexting. And I would certainly consider it cheating if my wife did it.
 
Back
Top Bottom