View Poll Results: Is cyber sex/sexting cheating

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  • Yes

    47 63.51%
  • No

    8 10.81%
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    3 4.05%
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    16 21.62%
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Thread: Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

  1. #101
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    Re: Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

    Quote Originally Posted by LuckyDan View Post
    That's fine in theory between the couple in question. I'd like to hear from anyone who has such an agreement in place with their spouse.

    What rules are in place for dealing with the third party? Are they given all the facts about the marriage? If it goes beyond flirting, for them, what mechanism is in place to protect them from emotional pain?
    Your answers will vary it all depends on the relationship. I cannot say there is one specific set of answers, each unique relationship would and should deal with these questions on their own, and in their own way. The best answer I can give is whatever works best for the couple, and yes I am aware that this answer is likely unsatisfactory for you.
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  2. #102
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    Re: Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

    I still don't grasp why some don't consider it cheating.

    Just becaue it's not physical contact does NOT mean that said individual can 'not really cheat but flirt around and get their cyber sex freak on' with every woman in the world and it be ok and not a legitimate issue.

    People meet online all the time - fall in love - and marry.

    It's the emotions involved that matter - not exactly *how* things were conducted.

    Some people have purely emotional affairs - they never kiss or ge physically involved, but they date, share moments together and have a relationship.
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  3. #103
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    Re: Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    I still don't grasp why some don't consider it cheating.

    Just becaue it's not physical contact does NOT mean that said individual can 'not really cheat but flirt around and get their cyber sex freak on' with every woman in the world and it be ok and not a legitimate issue.

    People meet online all the time - fall in love - and marry.

    It's the emotions involved that matter - not exactly *how* things were conducted.

    Some people have purely emotional affairs - they never kiss or ge physically involved, but they date, share moments together and have a relationship.
    i don't think people who are sexting are looking for love, exactly. as for cheating, i think that's between the husband and wife. for me, it would be cheating, for others, it would not.

    question, though, if my husband watched porn by himself and jerks off, is that cheating? cause, really, what's the difference?

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  4. #104
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    Re: Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

    I can see how sexting could be like one of those phone sex hotlines, or POV pornography. In that sense I can see how some wouldn't consider it cheating. For me, it doesn't feel right. I don't like the idea, so I won't accept it. I am more lenient with what classifies as "cheating" for my boyfriend than he is with me. He would feel betrayed if I let some male massage therapist diddle my clam after a massage, where as I wouldn't be bothered if he got rubbed off after one. We set boundaries on each other based on our comfort levels. If somebody goes beyond those levels it isn't okay.

    So for each couple, boundaries are (and should be) different. Within that couple, there may be different values and expectations for each person based on the comfort of their partner. The only people who matter are the couple and those they drag into any act of cheating or deceit. Everybody else has to understand that personal expectations aren't universal.
    "Hmmm...Can't decide if I want to watch "Four Houses" or give myself an Icy Hot pee hole enema..." - Blake Shelton


  5. #105
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    Re: Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

    Quote Originally Posted by marduc View Post
    Your answers will vary it all depends on the relationship. I cannot say there is one specific set of answers, each unique relationship would and should deal with these questions on their own, and in their own way. The best answer I can give is whatever works best for the couple, and yes I am aware that this answer is likely unsatisfactory for you.
    I don't believe there are many married couples with such an agreement, unless one spouse had to compromise with the other to save the marriage, and in that case, they are not getting the deal they originally signed onto.

  6. #106
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    Re: Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    I still don't grasp why some don't consider it cheating.

    Just becaue it's not physical contact does NOT mean that said individual can 'not really cheat but flirt around and get their cyber sex freak on' with every woman in the world and it be ok and not a legitimate issue.

    People meet online all the time - fall in love - and marry.

    It's the emotions involved that matter - not exactly *how* things were conducted.

    Some people have purely emotional affairs - they never kiss or ge physically involved, but they date, share moments together and have a relationship.
    Explain that to your significant other. A lot of divorces are granted over this issue.

    Infidelity: Online Affairs Are Fantasy for Cheating Spouses, Can Lead to Divorce

    By LENORE SKOMAL

    Psychologists call it the final frontier. It’s Cybersex, and it has become the easiest way to cheat on your spouse. “Thirty years ago it was much harder to get sex. You had to sneak around and really look for it. Cybersex brings it right into the house. It is just so easy now,” said Tina B. Tessina, 64, a Long Beach, Calif.-based psychotherapist and author of "Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media 2008). “Cybersex is also easier to hide and it usually doesn’t cost money.”

    With Cyberspace’s coming of age so have multiple opportunities to meet someone online and get romantically involved. Chat rooms, interactive web sites, blogging and public networking forums like MySpace and Facebook have inadvertently invited strangers into many bedrooms. In fact, the Internet hookup has become so commonplace, it’s now considered as viable as any other venue to meet someone.
    Source: divorce360.com | Cybersex Makes Cheating Easy

  7. #107
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    Re: Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

    Quote Originally Posted by tessaesque View Post
    i can see how sexting could be like one of those phone sex hotlines, or pov pornography. In that sense i can see how some wouldn't consider it cheating. For me, it doesn't feel right. I don't like the idea, so i won't accept it. I am more lenient with what classifies as "cheating" for my boyfriend than he is with me. He would feel betrayed if i let some male massage therapist diddle my clam after a massage, where as i wouldn't be bothered if he got rubbed off after one. We set boundaries on each other based on our comfort levels. If somebody goes beyond those levels it isn't okay.

    So for each couple, boundaries are (and should be) different. Within that couple, there may be different values and expectations for each person based on the comfort of their partner. The only people who matter are the couple and those they drag into any act of cheating or deceit. Everybody else has to understand that personal expectations aren't universal.
    who is your massage therapist?

    Originally Posted by johnny_rebson:

    These are the same liberals who forgot how Iraq attacked us on 9/11.


  8. #108
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    Re: Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

    Quote Originally Posted by liblady View Post
    who is your massage therapist?
    lol. I've actually NEVER had a massage...but there is a local asian parlor here where the ladies will provide a happy ending for an extra $50.
    "Hmmm...Can't decide if I want to watch "Four Houses" or give myself an Icy Hot pee hole enema..." - Blake Shelton


  9. #109
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    Re: Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

    If it is a behavior you would feel creepy or disgusted by doing with a relative, it's probably cheating.

  10. #110
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    Re: Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

    Quote Originally Posted by liblady View Post
    i don't think people who are sexting are looking for love, exactly. as for cheating, i think that's between the husband and wife. for me, it would be cheating, for others, it would not.

    question, though, if my husband watched porn by himself and jerks off, is that cheating? cause, really, what's the difference?
    Human interaction. Somebody else is operating your position in the equation.

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