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Life Changing Info

When you are an employee you are selling your labor at a deep discount. Start working for yourself as soon as you can. There are of course certain professions where that isn't applicable.

Start putting money into real-estate as soon as you can and keep doing it for the rest of your life. Nobody is making more land.
 
Back about 20 years ago someone I respected quite a bit asked me why I was angry all the time. I didn't realize that I had been angry or at least came across that way. It's been a work in progress to change and that work continues but I can think of very few people today who would consider me to be an angry person.
 
Fearandloathing said:
Whatever ever works, there are no rules in AA. At that time of my life it became my family. I went into service behind the scenes early on and continued to do so for 12 years. I stayed sober and AA survived me.

We talk a lot about the steps, few talk about the 12 traditions, which applied in every day life become the best tool. Tradition one is "our common welfare should come first". Applied in daily life means you treat people as you would want them to treat you...and on.

The foundation set of tools has allowed me to get through the death of my father, my best friend, my wife, and now my step mother this past week end. It has allowed me to face some of the most scary **** the medical system can throw at you as we went looking for things growing in my head etc. and all manner of catastrophes, including losing my business and going bankrupt in 2002. Now I am a recovering PTSD, as all those catastrophes have taken their toll on my emotional state. At no time in all of those 25 years did I even think about taking a drink or using.

I do not attend meetings much anymore. The stuff they're talking about became boring to me 15 years ago, I deal with deeper issues that have nothing to do with AA. Further, AA is open to any and all people who 'have a desire to stop drinking", and I don't. Like I say through all that and didn't even think about. My "work" now has taken me deeper to work with those who "failed" in AA, usually with accompanying mental issues, a lot of schizophrenia etc. It has also led me to become more active in policing, who are almost always the front line in encountering mental illness and we have turned the corner, we no longer see the actions of the mentally ill as a crime, but as a medical condition.

Next wee I will be attending a dinner as a new central resource program is unveiled linking police and fire with various programs from suicide prevention {I love that work] to desire to use, to distress or whatever so we don't have to shoot and kill them anymore when they grab a knife and go ape. I have some reservations, but they did hear us when we talked about the relationship of drugs to mental illness as 90% of drug abuse is people self medicating other stuff.

Long, I know. How can you tell this is near and dear to my heart?
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I admire your vocation, F&L.

I think the communities you chose to serve are lucky to have you.

And I know you're not doing it for the big bucks! ;)

It's always been my opinion that the most effective man, and the one hardest to impede, is a man with a cause! :thumbs:
 
Chomsky said:
Absolutely!

I would say that's the number one advice I was ever given!

And then you find their presence will cause you to improve yourself!

Whether we like it or not, we are influenced, even if subconsciously, by our relationships - especially the romantic ones; and that goes in spades for marriage!
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agreed one of the things I love about my guy is he encourages me to improve myself constantly, he pushes me to be better than I think I can be and to him I never fail...it is wonderful to have that balance and support
 
Fearandloathing said:
The day I stepped into Alcoholics Anonymous 25 years ago this may and learned that all my troubles were of my own making, that I could change through spiritual growth and learned that the path to happiness is helping others
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that is wonderful and admire your persistence and attitude

that attitude is interesting to me as I frequently meet people in life encounters that never want to view themselves as responsible for a situation or outcome occurring in their world

that makes me wonder how they survive because to me, if I've had no responsibility in a bad outcome then I have no power to alter that outcome and make things better
 
Frank Apisa said:
Two pieces in my case.

First one was: Don't sweat the small stuff.

Second one was: It's ALL small stuff. Just enjoy life...this is not a dress rehearsal.
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philosophically I know this to be true but it is a lesson I seem to need to repeat over and over again especially if it is job related...I am tremendously tough on myself at work...I would never have been as tough on one of my employees as I am on myself in this new job...luckily I have a guy that pulls me off of the ceiling
 
Frank Apisa said:
Good one, F.

Way back, I took a awareness expansion instruction. It was very much like est...with some minor changes and tweaks.

I got it.

My troubles are all of my own making.

I've had cancer...and even that I managed to put into that category. The cancer I did not create...but any fear about it (or its treatment) were on me.

Once you get that...truly grok it...it changes the way you deal with your life.
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omfreaking god...I am currently reading a book called: Dying To Be Me...she had fourth stage B something or another and was pretty much pooched...she was in organ failure when she returned...she said she caused her own cancer...NOT in a blaming way but through fear...this morning I kind of had one of those "moments" ya know where a whole bunch of little pieces of your life slam into place and you feel almost god like with your moment...

yeah

that's where this thread came from because I like her little book although much of it was exactly how I already view life and I have never had a NDE but the whole 'fear' thing resonated with me...and how we are bigger than our bodies, bigger than illness, bigger than the world...
 
Lutherf said:
Back about 20 years ago someone I respected quite a bit asked me why I was angry all the time. I didn't realize that I had been angry or at least came across that way. It's been a work in progress to change and that work continues but I can think of very few people today who would consider me to be an angry person.
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Greetings, Lutherf. :2wave:

I don't know what you did, except a 180, but you are truly one of the most interesting, and good-humored, men I have ever met on here or anywhere else! :thumbs:
 
Chomsky said:
Good move!

Irrespective of the alcohol angle, I feel the basic tenets of AA and other 12 step programs are good advice to live by!

And in some cases, not just to 'live by', but to have the gift of 'life' itself.

I can't say enough good about AA!
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I agree and the fact that they can go anywhere in the WORLD and walk into a meeting anywhere and just be real and relate to others on that level...that is a gift man...that is the give back for coming back
 
polgara said:
Greetings, Lutherf. :2wave:

I don't know what you did, except a 180, but you are truly one of the most interesting, and good-humored, men I have ever met on here or anywhere else! :thumbs:
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I've always been interesting and good humored!!:lol:

Back in the day I had some issues handling civilian management as if I were a drill sergeant. That's really where the comment stemmed from. It just took me a while to appreciate that nobody was going to die if one of my employees failed to take counting inventory seriously or something along those lines.
 
_Sal said:
I agree and the fact that they can go anywhere in the WORLD and walk into a meeting anywhere and just be real and relate to others on that level...that is a gift man...that is the give back for coming back
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Well said.

And I'll add:

Catholicism has something similar of sorts going on, at least in the Western world. Anywhere you're at, there's a Parish where a Catholic can get a little help, or pointed in the right direction to Catholic Charities/Services, or help with other social services.

They're not a Bed & Breakfast, but if you're in a deep jam - there's options!
 
Chomsky said:
Well said.

And I'll add:

Catholicism has something similar of sorts going on, at least in the Western world. Anywhere you're at, there's a Parish where a Catholic can get a little help, or pointed in the right direction to Catholic Charities/Services, or help with other social services.

They're not a Bed & Breakfast, but if you're in a deep jam - there's options!
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never thought of it like that... but yeah
 
_Sal said:
that is wonderful and admire your persistence and attitude

that attitude is interesting to me as I frequently meet people in life encounters that never want to view themselves as responsible for a situation or outcome occurring in their world

that makes me wonder how they survive because to me, if I've had no responsibility in a bad outcome then I have no power to alter that outcome and make things better
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The difference between having a disease and being a victim, and being in recovery is taking responsibility. I take heat sometimes because of the current physical issues "what kind of god would put you through that". Well, "God" never forced that booze and drugs down my throat, and he didn't light my cigarettes.

Following that on a daily basis simply isn't possible, I have my victim days too.
 
_Sal said:
What is the most life changing or important piece of advice or information you have been given or acquired over the years?
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I had a peak experience in 1987 that lasted for four months: it's all okay. Trust me - everything's going to be alright.
 
jet57 said:
I had a peak experience in 1987 that lasted for four months: it's all okay. Trust me - everything's going to be alright.
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four months? wow...I do trust you when you say everything's going to be alright, I believe it will too we just have to go with the flow and leave the hardness of heart behind

do you want to add anything to that thought of yours?
 
In my profession, good advises are offered in daily basis.
 
_Sal said:
four months? wow...I do trust you when you say everything's going to be alright, I believe it will too we just have to go with the flow and leave the hardness of heart behind

do you want to add anything to that thought of yours?
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Yeah, it was quite the time. I stopped smoking, drinking and coffee all on the same day. I went a couple of months after it was over, but moved back when I was "with our world again".

I can tell you that, such intake blocks your ability to receive and dulls your senses.

If you've ever seen what a bee sees, it's like ultra violet: anything with mass, molecules of air, water, anything, actually reflects light - It's all light. Our eyes are adjusted for our place in the world, but it's all light. Signals in our brain are light. When you're there, you can feel that connectedness - in everything. Something that was very very strange, and I probably shouldn't say this but, it was an eyeopener: an acquaintance had jumped off of a building just before I went through the door; couple of weeks I guess, and once I got my legs in my new surroundings, I could understand why he wanted to do it. He wanted to be there. I have no way of knowing if he made it, I'm certainly not interested in cheating the goal line, but this idea of "hell" goes completely out the window.

I think that peak experiences come as matter of clicking the right tumblers at the right time. I don't think we can "make" it happen, although I'm sure there are Yogis etc who would disagree... People who are steeped in the church community may be in an Alpha state, I don't know, but it seems logical based on some that I've met, and it's all meditation anyway.
 
Chomsky said:
And in romantic relationships (from my father): "Marry well" <-- You'll never go wrong picking someone better than you!*

*If I had to pick only one, this would be it.
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Right up until they realize you're not good enough for them and go looking for someone else, of course.
 
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