Pastafarianism is OK but the
Church of the Subgenius is the only true belief.
ARE YOU ABNORMAL?
Then you are probably BETTER than most people!
IF you suspect that things are much worse than you ever suspected...
IF the only thing you've been able to laugh at for the last 5 years is the fact that NOTHING is funny anymore...
IF you sometimes want to collar people on the street and scream that you're more different than they could possibly imagine...
IF you can possibly help us with a donation...
IF you see the whole universe as one vast morbid sense of sick humor...
IF the current "Age of Progress" seems more like the Dark Ages to you...
IF you are looking for an inherently contradictory religion that will condone megadegeneracy and yet tell you that you are "above" everyone else...
Then...
THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS could save your sanity!
Your secret wishes can be granted in full once you know what they are!
"You'll PAY to know what you REALLY think."-J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, 1961
NOW, AT LAST! The step-by-step process is revealed! THIS IS IT! The only "faith" that promises ACTION, THRILLS, SUCCESS IN SEX AND BUSINESS!
Feeling like there's just no SLACK?
You may have 'snapped' already from the information disease! ("The sleep of reason begets monsters.") Look to the High Unpredictables of the Church of the SubGenius for pancultural deprogramming and resynchronization!
Perfect your subliminal vision, edit your memory, relive your reincarnality! SYNC UP! THE SUBGENIUS MUST HAVE SLACK!
Using SubGenius secrets of BULLDADA and MOREALISM you can now MIRACULOUSLY ELIMINATE COMPULSIVE URGES such as smoking, eating, sleeping, working; end baldness, constipation, sex-money problems, assouliness, and painful shortage of SLACK!
Become a Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences... Make religion a kick-ass adventure! Indulge in Self-Help through Raising Hell!