- Joined
- Dec 1, 2011
- Messages
- 33,000
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- Location
- FL - Daytona
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Independent
I don't find it so difficult to reconcile because I have no problem saying "I don't know the answer to that" when I don't. Frankly, I don't know the answer to most of these questions, but I find them amusing to think about. All I can say is that events in my life defy other attempts I have made to explain it as the probability of this sort of thing occurring consistently and often only when needed are so laughably small, its not worth concerning myself with.
I think there is something out there. I cannot honestly tell you a lot about it. I have my ideas and my ideas seem to bear fruit when I pursue this intelligence in that manner. In otherwords, what I seem to do works and works well, but I do not have any religion in any sense you would call structured or formalized (going to church annoys me actually because people seem so fake there). So again, "I don't know the answer to that "
My honest feeling is mostly annoyance. I want to put the past behind me and its rather difficult since there are still consequences that I have to deal with and its realistically going to take years before I put all the damned loose ends that were introduced into my life to bed (for example, the financial piece of this is very complicated and when I get my next mortgage for example, the bank is going to bring up the fact that I am already in a mortgage, stuff like that). That kind of stuff frustrates me to no end, especially given the stupidity of the whole situation and her stupidity for doing this to herself, the kids, and me on some insane and childish quest to find a type of happiness that exists for nobody.
Personally, I want to just be done with it, find some hot chick who I can love, who loves me, and do it the right way. Until then, I am forced to be in a position where I am just dealing with the problems introduced into my life by an event beyond my control. (source of my annoyance). Once I get into a position where I have taken control of my life back over, I will be at peace. Hope its sooner rather than later. But that's all I really want at this point, for it to be over so I can have something even better, and life won't move as fast as my emotions or brain.
Also there is a ****load of facebook level drama that keeps happening that I don't often mention here, but people just need to leave well enough alone and leave me alone. This damned woman is doing stuff like making proposals to take the kids down to my parents because my truck is cramped. She will keep a hotel and then drive the kids back on Sunday. WTF is that! I very politely turned her down, but she obviously wants emotional validation out of me and not to quite give me up. I just want her to go and her weakness is completely inappropriate and she needs to have the stones to face her own consequences, I will not do it for her. I just want to find the next person and for this next person to be freaking awesome.
Sorry about the rant, but its just so ****ing frustrating. I want my life to move on and do wonderful amazing cool stuff that makes me happy!
Sorry OP if I **** all over your thread
This isn't way off topic because your free will is being stifled by obligation and duty. There is no such thing as a clean separation with children and finances. That stuff is going to be around for years, you simply need to get past the frustration and excess emotion part and reach the acceptance level. But unfortunately there is no forcing, it will come in time, though you can calm your mind down some by not dwelling on what you can't change.
She sounds like she wants your help but not your advice? That's actually typical of most people to some degree. My life, though it has been great certainly did not turn out anything close to what I wanted or thought it'd be. You got appreciate what you got, get what you can and roll with the flow. My whole world was recently (4 months ago) been turned upside down and I'm swimming in deep water the best I can and it is getting better. Just hang in there because in truth that's all you can do for now. Plan slowly and methodically and move thru the events as they come at you, then try to enjoy what you can in between, it's what I've been doing.