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Can an Atheist and Christian Be Friends?

blackjack50

blackjack50

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This is inspired by a comment by Fluffyninja. So all props go to him.

I understand that this is a fairly easy question to answer at first. Of course they can. I have a few friends and we NEVER talk about faith. Faith isn't the basis of our friendship and I have no idea what their faith is. But I dig down and I really think about that question.

My closest friend that is "not Christian" was still raised on Judeo-Christian family values. He never really grew up in a religous home, but it was more because his dad was ALWAYS working and so was his mom. We have been close friends our entire life. The discussion of faith is not something we have ever really talked about. He is like a brother to me too. I am Christian for certain when it comes to my beliefs. All my other close friends are Christian though. My family. My girlfriend. All of them are Christian. So ask yourself? Could you REALLY be friends with someone that is atheist/Christian/Muslim/Jewish/Mormon/Hindu/etc? I don't mean aquantences or buddies. I mean true friends too. Could you do it?

I think I could. I think it still comes down to the human element. So I propose a second question:

Could you marry someone that is not of the same faith/lack of faith as you?
 
It depends. If either or both are determined and persistent "proseletyzers" of their own beliefs, then probably not.

If each is willing to allow the other to have his beliefs and avoid insulting those beliefs, then it can be so.


But there is a long and wide gulf between the two mindsets. If the atheist is very firmly set in the materialistic and scientific universe, and denies that there is any spirtual dimension to extistence AT ALL, anything beyond what can be seen and touched or proven by science, then he will probably find it hard to get along with a devout theist who believes that the spiritual component of life is just as important (or moreso) than the material.
 
different worldviews have no important place in real friendships..in fact getting on well with each other has nothing to do with beliefs either..believers and atheists belong to the same world..they just need to be kind to each other.
 
friends? absolutely. marriage? absolutely not.
 
I have friends who are atheist and agnostic. There is a fellow teacher with whom I work on a daily basis and he happens to be vehemently atheist. I wouldn't call us "great friends" but we do treat each other in a civil manner and we generally have "friendly" discussions of history/politics/sports, etc. We do, on occasion, make friendly "jabs" at one another in reference to my faith and his lack thereof. All this being said.................there is indeed a "wall" of separation there..............a wide "gulf" as Goshin puts it......and there are just many deeper things (moral, social, spiritual, etc.) that we avoid talking about. I often find myself wondering how we could ever really be "true friends" if we simply hide so much of ourselves away from the other? Sometimes it hurts when I realize that we may really never truly "get to know" one another. I believe he is a good person and a great teacher........and I feel that he sees me the same way.........but there are just those certain conversations that we'll never be able to completely enjoy.

I have other really "great friends" who happen to share my faith and belief.......and obviously I always feel more "open" to discuss almost anything with them without fear of being offensive or of being offended.

I don't know the answer.............but I do know that both sides can, at the very least, coexist and be civil......I HAVE experienced that much. :shrug:
 
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I don't necessarily agree with the beliefs of theists, but if they can defend them, I'll respect them. And even if they can't, I've got no real issue with 'em as long as these said beliefs don't translate in to violence. :2wave:
 
Sure. Of course they can.
 
Of course, most of my friends are non-religious, and my friends who have differing beliefs I couldn't care less that they do. In fact I revel in learning about their differing customs and traditions.

I'm friends with someone because I like them, and enjoy spending my time with them, not because of their religious beliefs.
 
FluffyNinja said:
I have friends who are atheist and agnostic. There is a fellow teacher with whom I work on a daily basis and he happens to be vehemently atheist. I wouldn't call us "great friends" but we do treat each other in a civil manner and we generally have "friendly" discussions of history/politics/sports, etc. We do, on occasion, make friendly "jabs" at one another in reference to my faith and his lack thereof. All this being said.................there is indeed a "wall" of separation there..............a wide "gulf" as Goshin puts it......and there are just many deeper things (moral, social, spiritual, etc.) that we avoid talking about. I often find myself wondering how we could ever really be "true friends" if we simply hide so much ourself away from the other? Sometimes it hurts that we may really never truly "get to know" one another. I believe he is a good person and a great teacher........and I feel that he sees me the same way.........but there are just those certain conversations that we'll never be able to completely enjoy.

I have other really "great friends" who happen to share my faith and belief.......and obviously I always feel more "open" to discuss almost anything with them without fear of being offensive or of being offended.

I don't know the answer.............but I do know that both sides can, at the very least, coexist and be civil......I HAVE experienced that mauch. :shrug:
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My experience has been similar to yours. I can get along with almost anyone, if they aren't a total jackass... but I consider a real "buddy" to be a bit closer relationship than merely "getting along", and a true friend to be someone you can talk to about almost anything.

I've found it easier to be friends with a mild agnostic, who is at least somewhat open to the notion that there is more to life than the material universe, or indeed with someone is of a DIFFERENT religious faith than my own... at least they understand that spiritual matters are important to those who believe in them, even if we disagree a great deal on the "details".

I have some pretty tight friends who are Buddhist, Deist, pagan and agnostic.... but not one close friend who is an outright atheist. I guess that says something right there.
 
Medusa said:
different worldviews have no important place in real friendships..in fact getting on well with each other has nothing to do with beliefs either..believers and atheists belong to the same world..they just need to be kind to each other.
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Well being kind to someone is not really the only think to being friends. I am nice to a lot of people. I generally am respectful and decent to people I don't know (common courtesy and some civility to people I meet in the real world are very important to me as a person).
 
I agree with Goshin.

I also advise any young folks to not date anyone who is a "rabid" Christian (or any other religion). I have know a few couples where one was and the other wasn't. It made it difficult for both of them. In one of the aforementioned relationships, the wife who was a very sweet lady, had no opinions her minister had not told her to have. Her husband told my wife they could talk about almost nothing but their kid or the house. BTW, unlike you might imagine, when alone with my wife she could talk about nothing but sex. :)
 
Frogfussle said:
I agree with Goshin.

I also advise any young folks to not date anyone who is a "rabid" Christian (or any other religion). I have know a few couples where one was and the other wasn't. It made it difficult for both of them. In one of the aforementioned relationships, the wife who was a very sweet lady, had no opinions her minister had not told her to have. Her husband told my wife they could talk about almost nothing but their kid or the house. BTW, unlike you might imagine, when alone with my wife she could talk about nothing but sex. :)
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1. Was the term RABID Christian really necessary? We aren't normally associated with rabies you know... that's more of a raccoon, fox and possum type of thing...
2. "ALL young folks"? What if the young person in question IS a Christian? There are quite a few you know... rather a lot actually.
 
stonewall50 said:
Well being kind to someone is not really the only think to being friends. I am nice to a lot of people. I generally am respectful and decent to people I don't know (common courtesy and some civility to people I meet in the real world are very important to me as a person).
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so ? ...........
 
Sure, lots of my friends are Christians. However, the comment made by Fluffy, as I remember it, were "devout" people, or something along those lines. None of my Christian friends are terribly devout, they are very, very liberal theists and, honestly, most of them just claim Christianity because they think it makes them look good to the neighbors. I doubt most of them have the slightest clue what they are supposed to believe or do.
 
Medusa said:
so ? ...........
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I apologize to Stonewall for interjecting, but I think he may be saying that "getting along well with" and "being kind to" others doesn't necessarily equate to true friendship.
 
FluffyNinja said:
I apologize to Stonewall for interjecting, but I think he may be saying that "getting along well with" and "being kind to" others doesn't necessarily equate to true friendship.
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what is teh friendship? can you make friends w,th teh ones whom you cant get on well with,fluffy?
 
Cephus said:
Sure, lots of my friends are Christians. However, the comment made by Fluffy, as I remember it, were "devout" people, or something along those lines. None of my Christian friends are terribly devout, they are very, very liberal theists and, honestly, most of them just claim Christianity because they think it makes them look good to the neighbors. I doubt most of them have the slightest clue what they are supposed to believe or do.
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So, to edit for accuracy.........."lots of your friends CALL themselves Christians" but don't necessarily believe in what they profess publicly?
 
If a Christian believes in the Word they cannot refuse, but as a person it is a matter of choice.
 
Medusa said:
what is teh friendship? can you make friends w,th teh ones whom you cant get on well with,fluffy?
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Sure, but I don't believe that you can be a "true friend" to someone that you hide half of your life away from and create a "wall" for some topics that should not be discussed. Shouldn't you be able to discuss almost anything with a true friend without reservation? IDK, that's why I suggested starting a new thread.......whole new can of worms. :shrug:
 
stonewall50 said:
This is inspired by a comment by Fluffyninja. So all props go to him.
Click to expand...

It depends.

The Christian believes that the atheists, as long as any other non-Christians, will burn hell for eternity.

It depends on the rest of people to accept or reject that level of anti-social insanity.
 
FluffyNinja said:
i think, perhaps someone may need to start a new thread for that one: How is true friendship defined? :lol:
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i had lots of friends ,but only a few of them were real..and ı gave up seeing them too..ı realized that ı was always teh one who tolerated ,who forgave ,it goes like that
 
FluffyNinja said:
Sure, but I don't believe that you can be a "true friend" to someone that you hide half of your life away from and create a "wall" for some topics that should not be discussed. Shouldn't you be able to discuss almost anything with a true friend without reservation? IDK, that's why I suggested starting a new thread.......whole new can of worms. :shrug:
Click to expand...

of course ,i didnt say you should hide your things:lol:
 
Paralogic said:
It depends.

The Christian believes that the atheists, as long as any other non-Christians, will burn hell for eternity.

It depends on the rest of people to accept or reject that level of anti-social insanity.
Click to expand...

The true Christian does not "look down" on Atheists. the true Christian believes that no one is beyond redemption and thus, no one is any "better" than anyone else. :shrug:
 
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