Can You Motivate Another Adult To Change?

I think the initial choice has to come from within the person, but you can do a lot to make that choice more appealing. For example, you can really shower your aunt with love and support and try to make her life a lot more worthwhile, so that she perceives more value in trying to extend her life. Then if she does make the choice to quit, you can offer her as much positive support as she needs to make it through the tough parts.

I say that because I once quit smoking for 10 years. What motivated me was meeting a man who was a non-smoker and who treated me well and wanted to marry me. His presence in my life made the future seem a lot more appealing, and so I had a lot more reason to want to extend my life. I successfully quit and maintained myself as a non-smoker for 10 years.

Unfortunately, the marriage ended in divorce and once my future went back to being bleak, I went back to smoking. Many people have gone through this same type of experience where they quit smoking for years and then went back to it at some later point in life. Few people talk about it, though, because they get so much backlash from others when they talk about their experience.

I think love can motivate people to change for the better, but you have to be positive. Nagging, shaming, manipulating, blackmailing and all those other negative strategies will only drive the person away and possibly reinforce their determination to rebel against your perceived coercion.

Pinkie said:

I don't mean if you have power over them, like you can fire them. I mean a close friend, family member, spouse, etc.

You really want your aunt to quit smoking, say.

Is there anything you can do to motivate her to do this, or do people have to find that kind of energy within themselves, period?

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Some yes, some no, depends on the person.

Pinkie said:

I don't mean if you have power over them, like you can fire them. I mean a close friend, family member, spouse, etc.

You really want your aunt to quit smoking, say.

Is there anything you can do to motivate her to do this, or do people have to find that kind of energy within themselves, period?

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You have to have the skills to analyze the person's behavior and determine how to present your point of view, in this case not smoking, in a way that they will see as beneficial to them.

Most human beings, most of the time, live based on the serotonin and/or endorphin levels in their brain. If their current state does not involve any serious biological or physiological imbalances, another person's suggestions or ideas may actually have an effect in their behavior, provided the other person, either by chance or by skill, knows how to present new information to them.

Best wishes.

You can be supportive.

Aunt Spiker said:

You can be supportive.

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Supportive of what?

In the example in the original post... supportive of smoking and inhaling smoke from burned plant matter infused with a ton of industrial refuse chemicals to try and addict the brain into wanting more of them?

Supportive of a person making their body available for cancer?

Thanks. I'll take other kinds of friends, like the commonly known supportive ones.

Pinkie said:

I don't mean if you have power over them, like you can fire them. I mean a close friend, family member, spouse, etc.

You really want your aunt to quit smoking, say.

Is there anything you can do to motivate her to do this, or do people have to find that kind of energy within themselves, period?

Click to expand...

Motivation is a... mutual experience. Both sides have to bring energy to the table, and they change only after good vibrations.

Pinkie said:

I don't mean if you have power over them, like you can fire them. I mean a close friend, family member, spouse, etc.

You really want your aunt to quit smoking, say.

Is there anything you can do to motivate her to do this, or do people have to find that kind of energy within themselves, period?

Click to expand...

They have to want to do it, otherwise...no.