Fair enough. But even the average person seems to think anyone in emotional distress -- no matter how obvious it is they suffered a grievious blow -- should see a therapist. Still crying two weeks after the baby died?
Get thee "fixed".
That 'tude annoys me. I say such people are fine and don't need "fixing". (They obviously need compassion and support, though -- and these days, some people have to pay to get it, because their families and friends are too uncomfortable with signs of distress to provide it.)
I believe that is a normal grieving response, and should be not only expected, but used in order to internalize the loss. What I was referring to in my previous posts is guilt, not loss. Guilt, if left unchecked, and permitted to get to the pathological stage, is a soul-killer, and eats you from the inside. Guilt and remorse is appropriate and natural in the human who has a conscience, but some people can't look at the past as a learning experience, and more or less get stuck in the emotional pain, and obsess on it, without putting it into perspective.
This is just anecdotal, but when my dad was diagnosed with a primary brain tumor, it was my dad I was worried about having some mental and emotional issues, but it was my mom who actually did. About a month into his illness, my mom called me one morning, and asked me to come over to see her. I could tell she was feeling distressed, so I drove over there, and when I looked at her, I could see the deer in the headlights look on her face, and I recognized it immediately, as her face portrayed the same emotional state I had dealt with off and on for years. My sister took her to the doctor, while I stayed there with Dad. The doc put her on an antidepressant and some Xanax to help her sleep at night, which she really didn't want to take, but did so at our suggestion, because she couldn't go on that way. I had always viewed my mom as a very strong and stoic woman, and this experience taught me that everyone has their breaking point at which emotional stress can overtake their normal functioning. Fast forward a couple of monts- after Dad died, I was worried that she would further decline, and since that time, I've gone to spend the day with her every two weeks, and we do our mom and daughter thing, because I wanted to make sure she was coping okay, and because I love her so. She insisted on getting off the antidepressant, and she tapered off, then she stopped the Xanax as well, and for nearly a year, she has done remarkably well, and is active and living a nice life. She has been able to keep per emotional pain in perspective by letting herself be vulnerable to it, talking about it, and feeling it, rather than analyzing it in an intellectual manner, and trying to separate herself from it. I believe this is a part of dealing effectively with the things that shake us deeply, whether it be guilt, grief, loss, or any other emotional trauma.
.
