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Thread: When little boys start noticing women ... or girls

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    When little boys start noticing women ... or girls

    (I put this in this section because this isn't a debate so much as just a discussion)

    I have 3 boys - 1 girl.
    Boys: 11, 9
    Girl: 5
    Boy: 3

    My older two sons never showed interest in particular girls, still don't - they're autistic in various degrees. They talk about girls in general as 'pretty' or saying things like 'when I get married...' but they've never said anything like 'she's pretty' or 'I like this girl at school' and so forth ...

    But my youngets does not have autism and he (age 3) shows extreme interest in other girls - not just little girls, like his age. But teenagers and women, especially (Angeline Jolie and Marina Orlova) are his big comment-inspiring woman on tv, for example.

    In fact, I hear more from him about such women than I do about friends his age or even teenage girls and such - and I don't know if I should deal with him, as he grows older, in the same way I dealt with his brothers or if I need to address things earlier, or read a book first. LOL
    Any insight?

    I've asked my husband and he said it didn't matter until he gets older - which isn't sufficient for me. I'd rather be prepared far in advance.

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    Re: When little boys start noticing women ... or girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    (I put this in this section because this isn't a debate so much as just a discussion)

    I have 3 boys - 1 girl.
    Boys: 11, 9
    Girl: 5
    Boy: 3

    My older two sons never showed interest in particular girls, still don't - they're autistic in various degrees. They talk about girls in general as 'pretty' or saying things like 'when I get married...' but they've never said anything like 'she's pretty' or 'I like this girl at school' and so forth ...

    But my youngets does not have autism and he (age 3) shows extreme interest in other girls - not just little girls, like his age. But teenagers and women, especially (Angeline Jolie and Marina Orlova) are his big comment-inspiring woman on tv, for example.

    In fact, I hear more from him about such women than I do about friends his age or even teenage girls and such - and I don't know if I should deal with him, as he grows older, in the same way I dealt with his brothers or if I need to address things earlier, or read a book first. LOL
    Any insight?

    I've asked my husband and he said it didn't matter until he gets older - which isn't sufficient for me. I'd rather be prepared far in advance.
    This is a bump.

    OBL 11/24/02

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    Re: When little boys start noticing women ... or girls

    I would say this, being the parent of a pre-teen boy. Just answer all the questions he poses to you honestly. Don't skirt the issues or make crap up. If he is asking the question, he's probably ready for a real answer. Now, of course, you may want to leave details out, but you know, answer honestly at their level. My son is now saying "that woman is hot." Oh yeah, I'm in for it. The hormones are starting to hit.

    We always answered his questions frankly. He continues to come to us with questions rather than kids because we were always honest with him.

    Not sure if that helps.

    By the way, we have had "the talk" and continue to do so as need arises. I did it before his hormones hit fully because I feel like he ought to know what is going on with his body when it happens.
    Last edited by formerroadie; 10-30-09 at 04:14 PM.
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    Re: When little boys start noticing women ... or girls

    My son is nine, and each time I've approached the issue, he cracks up. So I waited until he came to me which was a few nights ago, actually. I just let him ask the questions. He didn't care much about girls (though he was grossed out that women don't exactly poop their babies out ), but he just really wanted a little info on the whole thing. And really a little was all he wanted. He had no further questions. However, I'm fully expecting to be sitting down to dinner with my mother in law or someone equally as stuffy, and suddenly he's going to ask, "But wait! How did Dad get his sperm into your uterus?"
    Quote Originally Posted by soccerboy22 View Post
    You guys are weird.

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    Re: When little boys start noticing women ... or girls

    I think honesty in a manner he can understand is the best policy. I don't see anything wrong with agreeing with him on certain things and also letting him know if saying certain things is or is not acceptable.

    For instance, if he says that Angelina is pretty, nothing wrong with saying "yes, she is". If he repeats something very derogatory about her that he's heard from someone else, then best to let him know that's not an appropriate thing to say.

    My family consists primarily of women. My sister's youngest is a boy and having a young boy around was pretty new for most of us. LOL He still has a breast obsession, but we don't chastise him for everything he does. We realize that he doesn't understand and that none of it sexual. He's only 5 and he associates breasts with the intimacy he had with his mother when she breast fed. But, as he continues to get older, we do have to slowly modify his behavior and let him know that certain things aren't really appropriate to do. But we never EVER do it in a demeaning, angry, or chastising way. Hell, my eldest niece had a breast obsession until she finally got her own, so it's hardly something restricted to the boys. We did the same thing with her that we are now doing with him.

    I think the best thing to do is to let him know what's "okay" to say and even when it's okay to say it. Some things are okay at home that are not okay at Walmart. LOL And, just answer questions he has when he comes to you with them, and as honestly as you can.

    JMHO, though.

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    Re: When little boys start noticing women ... or girls

    My oldest son is almost three(in Jan), the other one is still in the oven, and he already admits to having a girlfriend. But he doesn't seem to have any regards for women on TV or anything like that(or guys for that matter).
    "Love is the death of duty"- Aemon Targaryen

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    Re: When little boys start noticing women ... or girls

    I know when I first noticed that girls were pretty was pretty much the time my carpal tunnel started!!!

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    Re: When little boys start noticing women ... or girls

    Thanks all That helps.

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    Re: When little boys start noticing women ... or girls

    I guess, Aunt, I see sex as natural and an important part of life. I try to not make a huge deal out of it like they do in the movies and crap and I try to give him a realistic sense to it. I try not to pull and Augustine and be derogatory about it in anyway because I want him to be well adjusted (as best I can do that given my own flaws). Anyway, sex shouldn't be alien to the grown up and therefore the grown up should be the safe one to talk to. I try to communicate that to him.

    oh, and yes, when my son found out women had 3 holes, not one, he kinda was like
    It's time for a revolution in our country. Not a revolution forged with guns and bombs but a revolution forged of compassion and altruism. A revolution that extends a hand to those who don't have and who cannot. A revolution that makes Health Care available to all those in the US.

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    Re: When little boys start noticing women ... or girls

    Quote Originally Posted by WI Crippler View Post
    My oldest son is almost three(in Jan), the other one is still in the oven, and he already admits to having a girlfriend. But he doesn't seem to have any regards for women on TV or anything like that(or guys for that matter).
    When I was in kindergarden I was engaged to two girls at once and they knew about each other...I was just a stud

    I cannot give direct advice since I have no children but I can give my view of what not to do based on my own parents.

    I had very very conservative parents that would not speak of sex. If us kids tried asking a question we were quickly rebuked for even considering such a thing and given no answer. We learned that our parents were not going to be any source of answers and so turned to our peers which as most of us know is not a good place for reliable information at age 12.

    I believe this also lead to an even greater amount of curiosity on our part. Most teens are curious to begin with but by having parents that have now made it taboo in the household we now had to know what it was all about. I had sex for the first time at 13 years old. I consider myself lucky today, by having sex at such an early age, things could have turned out badly.

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