talloulou

So summer's here and my house is apparently the neighborhood feeding ground. The kids, mine, aren't allowed off our block and so most of the kids in the neighborhood hang around here running in and out to use the bathroom, get snacks, etc. It seems most days I feed at least two extra kids lunch. I usually send them home for dinner but it's not exactly uncommon for us to end up with extras at dinner as well.

On the one hand I sorta love this as I really get to know the kids and I don't really allow my kids to go into other peoples houses at all unless I know them really well. So I'd prefer they all hang out around here. The 2-3 kids that tend to eat lunch here daily are kids I now know well but don't know their parents aside from phone calls asking permission to take them swimming to the lake and what not. But their kids eat here EVERYDAY. How come they're not called home for lunch ever? And I KNOW it's not as if they eat here and then eat there as well because they are literally around here ALL day.

I'm good with the snacking. I don't mind handing out otter pops, watermelon, crackers, cheese, etc. But the lunch and dinner guests are getting rather tiresome. They'd probably be here for breakfast as well 'cept I've instituted a "no ringing the doorbell before 10:30 am" rule.

So how do other parents handle feeding the neighborhood. I want the kids here, I like them hanging out around here, but they're eating me out of house and home.

shuamort

Our kids get a week off after school and then they're all in day camp from 8am-5pm until mid-august. That's helped. But dinner is a different story and we always give our kids a heads-up that we're giving them dinner in twenty minutes and announce that their friends can come back afterwards if they'd like (then ten minutes, 5 minutes, etc) so it gives them time to wrap it up with their friends until after dinner.

It might be harder to set up the boundaries now, but explaining the situation to your kids first might help. They, in turn, can tell their friends. You might want to have the kids do picnics (depending on age, etc) and pack your kids lunches and have them encourage their friends to bring their lunches too and they can eat outside together and still hangout.

talloulou

The picnic idea is a good one.

I just feel bad. The one child's mother works and dad doesn't live with them. During the day he's under the care of his teenage sister. I think she's supposed to be watching him but she's NEVER to the best of my knowledge ever called him to come in for lunch. Whenever we go somewhere I call his mom at work and get permission for him to tag along. The other boy, I have no idea what goes on at his house. I just know he's out all day and doesn't seem to ever have to go home. On forth of July, no lie, this kid was at my house from 11 AM to 9:30 PM. On 4th of July! I've never spoken to his parents and for that reason he never gets to go swimming or anything with us. His mother and her boyfriend are never reachable. I feel like no one is watching the child so I better look after him. Then there's a boy who's according to his parents old enough to look after himself during the summer. He's 9. So both parents work and I suppose I could send him home but I know he will be sent home to an empty house to make himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or something. I guess I just have to get use to my "summer gang" so to speak.

I can't wait for school to start back up.

independent_thinker2002

Sounds like you have some poor parents in your neighborhood. I would guess the teenage sister isn't complaining about not having to watch/feed her sibling. I can't believe other kids' parents aren't keeping tabs on their kids. 9 is not old enough to run around all day. I would say that your best tact is to politely tell them that they have to go home for lunch because you don't have enough food to feed everyone. You can explain the economics to your children. (If you feed the neighborhood, you can't buy them toys and things they want.)

I teach my niece (who I am raising) that you don't invite yourself over to other people's homes. Of course, other kids don't invite her over because they have other kids to play with. This means that I have kids over here. I don't mind. I wait until after lunch to have her invite them and send them home before dinner. It works out well for me.

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bub

shoot down one of them, that'll make the others run away

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