rivrrat

So, I've decided that I'm going to learn to surf. Always wanted to, never really been around the ocean long enough to get up the nerve to do it. And I do mean: Get up the nerve to do it.

I love the water, I love being in the water, I love water sports, I love being near the water, I love the sound of the water, I love the smell of the water. I just love the water.

But I also have a fear of it, despite my former occupation and despite what I enjoy doing for fun. My worst fear is drowning. Unfamiliar water sends me into a near panic. I really have to control myself, and it's a good thing I CAN do that. It's something I've taught myself: to face my fears and not let it get the best of me. Don't panic. Relax. Deal with the situation.

On the rivers, I knew the water. I knew the rivers. I felt comfortable on, around, and in them. There was still some fear of course, water is an extremely powerful force. But mostly it was a great deal of respect for the power of water along with confidence in my own abilities.

When I went to paddle new rivers, I always spent one day "getting to know" the river. While my buds paddled the first day, I would drive and hike down the river bank, sit and watch the water and other boaters. Get to know the river. And then, if I felt comfortable with the river, I would go out the next day and conquer it. Sometimes I didn't feel comfortable though, and thus didn't paddle said river. My friends never understood it, and I never felt the need to explain myself to them. They just knew that peer pressure would not work on me, and once I'd made up my mind, it was made up. It was a Zen thing. If it didn't feel right, I didn't do it. Period.

Every time I've gone to the ocean though, to the beach, I stay in shallow water. I do not go out over my head, never have. If I accidentally get out to where I can't touch the bottom, I make my way back with haste. The ocean - while it draws me, soothes me - it also terrifies and challenges me. SCUBA diving in the ocean always set me a bit on edge too, even though I enjoyed it.

See.. things like this:



SCARE THE **** OUT OF ME.

You know that movie The Perfect Storm? At the end... where that one guy makes it back up to the surface only to find himself alone, in the middle of the ocean, in the midst of these monstrous waves? THAT is my absolute worst fear. Just being lost in the vastness of the ocean. A little spec dangling like a fishing bobber on the surface of something so massive it's difficult to even comprehend how massive it is. No way to really help yourself. Just dangling there at the mercy of mother nature and all her power, and all of her creatures. *shudder*

Eh, anywho, I've decided to face this particular fear of mine finally and learn how to surf. Hopefully I can find the confidence to stick with it. I guess I really mean, hopefully I can pick up the skill so that I can then find the confidence that goes along with that. I've done it in every other sport I've tried, so I just hope my trend continues. LOL

My boyfriend and I are going to take lessons in a couple weeks. It'll be my 36th bday present to myself.

Weeeeee!

I think

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aps

I think this is fantastic! You can do it, and I am glad your boyfriend is doing it with you. Hang in there, and keep us posted.

I have a terrible fear of heights, but I LOVE hiking. I have just learned to accept how scared I am when I get up high into the mountains and the "high" I get once I am back on safe ground.

jallman

I'm scared of the ocean but its for one reason: there are things that can eat you in the ocean. I surfed in Alaska because there were no real shark threats there. I won't surf here. I am one of those people that sits on the beach and watches for a fin in the water. It's irrational, I know. But it's just how it is.

I applaud your efforts to overcome your fears. Let me know how fun it is!!!

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rivrrat

I was gonna go by myself, but since he'll have time when he's in on leave I figured we could do it together.


Hehe, sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it despite yourself, eh? I know the feeling.


Yes, yes... there are things that can eat you in the ocean. And in the woods too, for that matter. Part of my fear of unfamiliar water (particularly saltwater) is the fact that I don't know WTF is under the surface with teeth. So, I really don't want to dwell on the carnivorous sea life too much LOL I just keep reminding myself that the chances of me getting eaten by a shark are pretty slim.

Though they do increase dramatically if I'm out in the waves...

I have been in the water with sharks though, so I have experienced that helpless fear. Reef sharks were no big deal, they didn't concern me. But during a wreck dive, a much larger shark came swimming out of the deep blue as we were descending to the deck. We were following a buoy line down and every single one of us stopped dead on the line when the shark came into view. You could SEE that divers were holding their breath. LOL We froze, stared at the shark, hoped and prayed to every god and goddess imaginable that it would just ignore us and go away. Fortunately, that's exactly what it did. That is the norm, and is what to expect as far as I know. Still pretty damn scary to be around something that could kill you so very easily though. Just to be at their mercy, in their environment.

jallman

I was in the water in Florida out by Shell Beach near Fort Walton. I drifted out past the break and looked back and realized how far out I was and about pissed myself. I went to swim back and about 10 ft away this fin comes up out the water. I confess, I did piss myself then. I just stopped dead and literally said my last confession cuz I knew I was dead.

Then the little dolphin popped his head out of the water and I swear the bastard was laughing at me. People feed them around Shell Beach so they aren't really scared of humans at all, I guess. He swam back with me, even let me pet him a couple of times and hold onto his fin while he swam but I let go because he was trying to go further out. Once I got back in, he just turned around and swam away. It was a really poweful experience but I won't ever forget to utter terror I felt when I thought it was a shark that had come up on me.

talloulou

Exactly! I was all freaked out when recently that tri-athlete got eaten by a shark in CA. He was swimming with a group of other swimmers practicing for some big open water swim deal when a shark just got him, tossed him like a seal, and then he freaking bled to death while the others attempted to get him to shore.

Freaks me the hell out. I forbid my husband to swim open water without a boat nearby, watching. Luckily around here he mostly swims in cold lakes. But occasionally when we visit San Diego he likes to swim pretty far out of La Jolla Cove. Scares the piss out of me, and now it'll only be worse as I worry over shark attacks.

I myself almost drowned while snorkeling from LaJolla cove out to the caves. I was treading water and adjusting my mask when a freaking HUGE and I mean HUGE sea lion came up right next to me and made a barking sound. Somehow trying to flee away from the thing I ended up inhaling a ton of water through the tube and I swore I was gonna drown and die right there panicking and unable to breathe. Luckily I was able to get the stuff off my face, calm down, and cough the water out. But open water=scary stuff.

jallman

Man, sea lions are hella aggressive and mean, too. You were pretty lucky.

talloulou

At LaJolla Shores you can see the Leopard Sharks, usually in front of that big hotel on the beach where kayaks go in. You see them in waves. And people just swim and kayak all around them. They're supposedly harmless and completely use to people so I've learned to deal with them but occasionally you see them 6 & 7 feet long and it's hard to not be uncomfortable.

talloulou

Yeah when you see them from shore beaching and sunning on rocks they look like cutie pie overgrown dogs. When they pop up 1 foot away from you and bark in your face they're suddenly nightmarish monsters! They're way way bigger up close. hee hee.

talloulou

The leopard sharks you see off La Jolla Shores. They're real close to the beach line. It's crazy. People just kayak and swim all around them. Kids play in the water and sometimes you can just stand there on the beach watching the sharks riding the waves.