'Loaning" Books, Should They Come Home if Millennials are the Borrower?

Last three people I have loaned books to, a total of 5 books, were never returned. This was at least two years ago, so I know I am unlikely to see them again. They were handed out with the word "loan" attached.

One of the books I actually was planning to read again.

Is this normal with millennials?

Hawkeye10 said:

Last three people I have loaned books to, a total of 5 books, were never returned. This was at least two years ago, so I know I am unlikely to see them again. They were handed out with the word "loan" attached.

One of the books I actually was planning to read again.

Is this normal with millennials?

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Have you ever thought of asking what they thought of the book you loaned them?

Excon said:

Have you ever thought of asking what they thought of the book you loaned them?

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The answer was always " I have not gotten to it yet".

I figure these are lost causes, and I am done loaning books, just wondered what the norm is these days.

Hawkeye10 said:

The answer was always " I have not gotten to it yet".

I figure these are lost causes, and I am done loaning books, just wondered what the norm is these days.

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How you handle it is of course on you, for me, a response to such would be to ask them to bring it back as I would like to read it again.
Is it a behavior that is prevalent among millennials? I have no idea.

I never loan my books to anyone. Ever.

I have the same problem with power tools.

If you "loan" something to someone, and it's the kind of thing you'd want back, make sure you tell the borrower that you do indeed want it back.

If they don't give it back, or it comes back years later, or it comes back damaged, then you never lend that person anything ever again.

I have the same problem loaning money to people I know.

A famous quote from a sci-fi author: "only friends and relatives steal books."

How did you get the idea that this was new?

I loan(give) books out with the expectation I won't get them back and it doesn't bother me. If I didn't like the book, so what and if I did like it then I feel better that I passed it on for someone else to enjoy. I find cheap used books all the time, so no biggie.

I used to keep a small library in college and let people borrow my books all the time. Probably got 90% of them back. Even if I don't get one of my favorites back I'm okay with it. Perhaps it will find its way to someone who will enjoy it just as much as me. Then again, I rarely if ever re-read books unless it is years later.

I guess I look at it in terms of time of enjoyment vs. the money spent. Books for me have a high dollar value per hour of enjoyment compared to many forms of entertainment. That's with a fast reading speed, too. If I spend 8.99 on a paperback that I read in 6 hours one time and then it gets borrowed and never returned, I still only spent 9 dollars for what would essentially be 3 movies-worth of entertainment.

It feels the same with Audible subscriptions for me right now. I know I don't "own" the content and that if Audible goes bankrupt or something I might not get to "keep" the books. However, spending $15 for 28 hours of entertainment (especially during times when I'd otherwise be bored, usually driving) is a fantastic deal.

“Never lend books, for no one ever returns them.....”
- Anatole France

More to the point: You're judging the behavior of 75 million Americans, aged 18-34, based on the behavior of 5 people. If my math is correct, that's 0.000006% of the Millennial generation. This is exactly why anecdotes are not evidence.

spud_meister said:

I never loan my books to anyone. Ever.

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Can I borrow a book?

Anytime I give someone a book to read, I always assume I will not get it back. As I have already read it, I don't care if they keep it anyway.

Visbek said:

“Never lend books, for no one ever returns them.....”
- Anatole France

More to the point: You're judging the behavior of 75 million Americans, aged 18-34, based on the behavior of 5 people. If my math is correct, that's 0.000006% of the Millennial generation. This is exactly why anecdotes are not evidence.

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I made no general statement. In fact I did the opposite, I said " this is my experience, what is yours"(paraphrased).

CycloneWanderer said:

I used to keep a small library in college and let people borrow my books all the time. Probably got 90% of them back. Even if I don't get one of my favorites back I'm okay with it. Perhaps it will find its way to someone who will enjoy it just as much as me. Then again, I rarely if ever re-read books unless it is years later.

I guess I look at it in terms of time of enjoyment vs. the money spent. Books for me have a high dollar value per hour of enjoyment compared to many forms of entertainment. That's with a fast reading speed, too. If I spend 8.99 on a paperback that I read in 6 hours one time and then it gets borrowed and never returned, I still only spent 9 dollars for what would essentially be 3 movies-worth of entertainment.

It feels the same with Audible subscriptions for me right now. I know I don't "own" the content and that if Audible goes bankrupt or something I might not get to "keep" the books. However, spending $15 for 28 hours of entertainment (especially during times when I'd otherwise be bored, usually driving) is a fantastic deal.

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About 80% of my books fall into that category, either they are entertainment books or they are ideas books that either were not great or are out of date, but I have a habit of going back to the good ideas books again and again. Sometimes I am looking for quotes that I only half remember, sometimes I reread the entire thing because I am smarter now and I get to see things that I did not see the first time. Some of my books were kinda pricey too. The book that I wanted to read again was "The Glass Castle", which for me is mostly an entertainment romp though there are some important and unusual ideas in there, the others were all about food or were chef memoirs, so were pretty low value.

Have things changed? I dont know, I know that back in the 70's I was sufficiently concerned that I would not get my books back that I had a rubber stamp made and inked my name address and phone number in all by books, including on the outside of the cover so that it was obvious that it was mine. Still three people and 5 books , all in a row? Maybe "loan" does not mean what it used to. Or maybe basic respect for other peoples stuff is not what it used to be. Or maybe not. I am curious, so I asked the question.

I have thousands of books and have owned many more over the years and now that I'm retired I buy dozens virtually every month and I often find that I buy the same book more than once because I either didn't get to read it yet or my pre-Alzheimers gets in the way and I forget I've read it and so I read it again. I "loan" out books on a regular basis, and as others have noted I never expect to get them back and I'm pleasantly surprised if I do. In that way, it's like money - any money I've "loaned" I consider permanently invested without earthly return.

One thing I would note that I've learned over time, in this regard, is that only those people who would like to "borrow" books or money again in the future return books or money they've "borrowed" in the past. I've even had occasion where a person has returned $200 as an example, and as soon as the money is back in my hand they ask if they can borrow $200 again. I just chuckle and pass the money back.

As for books, something else I've learned over time is that just because I love to read doesn't mean that other people have the same appetite and if you offer such a person a "loaner" they may feel obligated to take one just so they don't appear either rude or illiterate. It's the latter type who will likely not return the book, often because they haven't read it and don't want to have to discuss it and because they don't want you to offer them another.

Bottom line, never cede possession of anything you'd feel badly about losing - that way, you'll never miss anything you share.

Hawkeye10 said:

Last three people I have loaned books to, a total of 5 books, were never returned. This was at least two years ago, so I know I am unlikely to see them again. They were handed out with the word "loan" attached.

One of the books I actually was planning to read again.

Is this normal with millennials?

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First off do not loan out books, they rarely find their way home.

Have you Asked for the books back?

Hawkeye10 said:

The answer was always " I have not gotten to it yet".

I figure these are lost causes, and I am done loaning books, just wondered what the norm is these days.

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Tell them to get their books from Pirate Bay like everyone else.