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"Don't speak ill of the dead." Why?

digsbe said:
I think it's because people are likely in mourning and it just adds to unnecessary pain for them to hear ill talk regarding their loved one.
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Well, I definitely think any online publication that closes comments sections under that kind of article is doing the right thing.

However, I don't see anything wrong with, say, going onto a political forum and starting a thread about some bad person who just died. Somewhere where family members are likely to see the comment should be off-bounds though, for the reason you note.
 
Mr Person said:
Well, I definitely think any online publication that closes comments sections under that kind of article is doing the right thing.

However, I don't see anything wrong with, say, going onto a political forum and starting a thread about some bad person who just died. Somewhere where family members are likely to see the comment should be off-bounds though, for the reason you note.
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This.

First, I must take umbrage with the OP's notion in post #19 that speaking ill of a particularly hated/hateful individual is a left-wing thing. Totally false. Both sides do it when someone who has adversely affected his/her life has died.

Next, I also subscribe to the notion of not speaking ill of the dead out of respect for a mourning family, which is why I won't specify what an evil bitch Phyllis Schlafly was in trying to codify universal female subservience and Catholic doctrine through the force of federal law on her Facebook Page, on her family's Facebook Page, or even on my Facebook Page. Nor will I comment on a [RIP] thread.

She made herself a public figure and as such had plenty of enemies as well as supporters. As a public figure, people on a Political Debate forum have the absolute right to discuss her, discuss her polices, and may do so even after she has died, so I have no reservation of speaking my mind here, in threads where it is appropriate to the topic. Threads like this one.

Every single step woman achieved in my lifetime, from equal pay for equal work, personal birth control choice, the ability to pursue a career outside the home, to be free from spousal rape and abuse, Phyllis Schlafly was right there, chanting against it and demanding government make it illegal. Any woman who had sex outside of marriage was a slut. Any woman who chose to use birth control was a slut. Any woman who refused to obey her husband's orders, wanted to work outside the home, wanted to choose how many children to bear and when to bear them was a bad wife... and probably a slut.

So forgive me if I have nothing good to say about a woman who spent her entire life trying to force male boots on female necks, because my neck was one of them.
 
radcen said:
"Don't speak ill of the dead." Why?

Pretty common sentiment. And I don't wholly disagree with it, but... can it be taken too far? It seems that some people mean to never speak ill of the dead. Ever. As if what that person did during life was irrelevant.

Disclaimer: It is incredibly rude to blast them right after they die, I agree wholeheartedly. "He was an asshole! :2mad:" at the funeral is uncalled for, for example. Even after the funeral, let some time pass. Be courteous and respectful to the people who might have liked the person. If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing.

Having said that, after a respectful time has passed, a few months IMO, if the person was an asshole in life they were an asshole in life. They and their legacy reaps what they sewed. I see no reason to lie.

I sense that I will probably be in the minority on this one.
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I think not speaking ill of the dead has a time limit. I don't think immediately once someone dies we should jump all over them for being an asshole as you stated. If you have nothing nice to say, just keep quite for a while. Give it a couple of weeks, perhaps a month at the maximum and then have at it.

I hate it when someone passes away today and the next thing you see is a bunch of people jumping up and down for joy. I may agree with them, but I was brought up to respect the dead or to keep quiet for a spell at least. I don't think it takes much of an effort if we have nothing nice to say about a person who just died to keep quiet about them for a week or two. Is that too much to ask?
 
DiAnna said:
This.

First, I must take umbrage with the OP's notion in post #19 that speaking ill of a particularly hated/hateful individual is a left-wing thing. Totally false. Both sides do it when someone who has adversely affected his/her life has died.

Next, I also subscribe to the notion of not speaking ill of the dead out of respect for a mourning family, which is why I won't specify what an evil bitch Phyllis Schlafly was in trying to codify universal female subservience and Catholic doctrine through the force of federal law on her Facebook Page, on her family's Facebook Page, or even on my Facebook Page. Nor will I comment on a [RIP] thread.

She made herself a public figure and as such had plenty of enemies as well as supporters. As a public figure, people on a Political Debate forum have the absolute right to discuss her, discuss her polices, and may do so even after she has died, so I have no reservation of speaking my mind here, in threads where it is appropriate to the topic. Threads like this one.

Every single step woman achieved in my lifetime, from equal pay for equal work, personal birth control choice, the ability to pursue a career outside the home, to be free from spousal rape and abuse, Phyllis Schlafly was right there, chanting against it and demanding government make it illegal. Any woman who had sex outside of marriage was a slut. Any woman who chose to use birth control was a slut. Any woman who refused to obey her husband's orders, wanted to work outside the home, wanted to choose how many children to bear and when to bear them was a bad wife... and probably a slut.

So forgive me if I have nothing good to say about a woman who spent her entire life trying to force male boots on female necks, because my neck was one of them.
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You misread it. It is not a particularly left-wing thing. I merely gave a current example and that example happens to be left-wing. I have no doubt the same will happen when someone like an Al Sharpton dies. The reason I pointed out "left" was to make my point that things like politics often supersedes noble intent.
 
radcen said:
You misread it. It is not a particularly left-wing thing. I merely gave a current example and that example happens to be left-wing. I have no doubt the same will happen when someone like an Al Sharpton dies. The reason I pointed out "left" was to make my point that things like politics often supersedes noble intent.
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Ah, I misunderstood. Thank you for the clarification. :)
 
DiAnna said:
This.

First, I must take umbrage with the OP's notion in post #19 that speaking ill of a particularly hated/hateful individual is a left-wing thing. Totally false. Both sides do it when someone who has adversely affected his/her life has died.

Next, I also subscribe to the notion of not speaking ill of the dead out of respect for a mourning family, which is why I won't specify what an evil bitch Phyllis Schlafly was in trying to codify universal female subservience and Catholic doctrine through the force of federal law on her Facebook Page, on her family's Facebook Page, or even on my Facebook Page. Nor will I comment on a [RIP] thread.

She made herself a public figure and as such had plenty of enemies as well as supporters. As a public figure, people on a Political Debate forum have the absolute right to discuss her, discuss her polices, and may do so even after she has died, so I have no reservation of speaking my mind here, in threads where it is appropriate to the topic. Threads like this one.

Every single step woman achieved in my lifetime, from equal pay for equal work, personal birth control choice, the ability to pursue a career outside the home, to be free from spousal rape and abuse, Phyllis Schlafly was right there, chanting against it and demanding government make it illegal. Any woman who had sex outside of marriage was a slut. Any woman who chose to use birth control was a slut. Any woman who refused to obey her husband's orders, wanted to work outside the home, wanted to choose how many children to bear and when to bear them was a bad wife... and probably a slut.

So forgive me if I have nothing good to say about a woman who spent her entire life trying to force male boots on female necks, because my neck was one of them.
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Considering the lack of respect her offspring bring to the world, I am going to have to say that in this specific case, I would consider making an exception. I don't know about all of them, so I probably wouldn't, but more than one of her son's channel satan very well.
 
radcen said:
"Don't speak ill of the dead." Why?

Pretty common sentiment. And I don't wholly disagree with it, but... can it be taken too far? It seems that some people mean to never speak ill of the dead. Ever. As if what that person did during life was irrelevant.

Disclaimer: It is incredibly rude to blast them right after they die, I agree wholeheartedly. "He was an asshole! :2mad:" at the funeral is uncalled for, for example. Even after the funeral, let some time pass. Be courteous and respectful to the people who might have liked the person. If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing.

Having said that, after a respectful time has passed, a few months IMO, if the person was an asshole in life they were an asshole in life. They and their legacy reaps what they sewed. I see no reason to lie.

I sense that I will probably be in the minority on this one.
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I get what you say.


Being Southern, certain rules of courtesy are stamped on my soul in blood, and that is one of them.... well at least in public.


It does strain ones sense of justice at times.... having died means we can't discuss what evil wretchedness was done by the evil wretch that everyone knows was an evil wretch, just because he's dead??



But yeah... not at the funeral, and not even later in the presence of anyone who found his death a tragic loss (there's always someone, even if he was a jerk), but otherwise fair game in private.
 
It is depressing that this thread is a day and a half in and we dont have an answer. I always assumed it was because the living should not take a chance of upsetting the spirits of the dead, because if we did they might haunt us, but I would like to get a factual answer.
 
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