Eulogy

Folks,

The family of friend who used to be a department head has asked me to be one of the speakers at her funeral.
Quite frankly I was taken aback at this request. What I need to know is what are the things I should talk about aside saying the usual that X was a kind and gentle and loving person. What I would love to say is that as a department head she was a monster to the staff. NOT joking!

Glowpun said:

Folks,

The family of friend who used to be a department head has asked me to be one of the speakers at her funeral.
Quite frankly I was taken aback at this request. What I need to know is what are the things I should talk about aside saying the usual that X was a kind and gentle and loving person. What I would love to say is that as a department head she was a monster to the staff. NOT joking!

Click to expand...

If you have a couple of personal amusing anecdotes, include those. It's fine to work in what you'd love to say...just do it in a work-ethic-flattering way. Maybe there's a self-deprecating incident between the two of you that illustrates her fairness or toughness (when you needed it) as an example. If you honestly can't find anything personally positive about this lady, I would thank whoever asked you and feign a giant fear of public speaking. You stayed awake allll night long worrying about it...

Glowpun said:

Folks,

The family of friend who used to be a department head has asked me to be one of the speakers at her funeral.
Quite frankly I was taken aback at this request. What I need to know is what are the things I should talk about aside saying the usual that X was a kind and gentle and loving person. What I would love to say is that as a department head she was a monster to the staff. NOT joking!

Click to expand...

Whenever I have been asked to do this and done it, I just remember back to my memories of the person, and talk about the positive contributions.

Obviously you are not going to talk about the quirks or the negatives.

Most people enjoy listening to a narrative more than to a lecture.

So just tell the story of when you first met, what you did together, what you saw, and the extraordinary good items.

When you tell a narrative, include as much detail as you can -- the day, the weather, the heat or cold, the birds singing, the crickets chirping, the people chattering, etc.

You can end your story to the effect that he/she will be missed but we will all meet up again someday.

Glowpun said:

Folks,

The family of friend who used to be a department head has asked me to be one of the speakers at her funeral.
Quite frankly I was taken aback at this request. What I need to know is what are the things I should talk about aside saying the usual that X was a kind and gentle and loving person. What I would love to say is that as a department head she was a monster to the staff. NOT joking!

Click to expand...

A friend of mine died. She worked for me as a bar tender and later became a naked dancer at the Mons Venus in Tampa. World famous jerk joint. Her brother gave the eulogy. He was some sort of pagan minister. He spoke about how her sisters body was just a vessel for her essence and her essence would be transformed into a small piece of every living thing. Then he said he wanted people at the service to tell him stories about his sister, no matter what the story was about. He had the people in the church in stitches. The priest who followed him didn't know what to say.

That would be tough for you to pull off. I'd make up some nice things to say about her.

Glowpun said:

Folks,

The family of friend who used to be a department head has asked me to be one of the speakers at her funeral.
Quite frankly I was taken aback at this request. What I need to know is what are the things I should talk about aside saying the usual that X was a kind and gentle and loving person. What I would love to say is that as a department head she was a monster to the staff. NOT joking!

Click to expand...

Definitely do not get up and say "Well, her is the ole bitch who was a monster to her staff and drove up everyone's alcohol and psychiatry bill. She was not kind, or gentle, or loving, or human... in fact, what the hell are we doing here? Drinks at the pub are on me!"

Just go with something reasonably positive and sincere, there has to be something that can be mentioned in a good light that brings your contribution to the service to a respectful point. Just focus on that and keep it fairly short, but not too short. You should be fine.