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Dear Abby: Man Told To Hold His Tongue Demands An Apology Instead

Dragonfly said:
No. :roll:

Society, hopefully, is evolving and raising its intelligence enough to try to put a damper on blatant ignorance and stupidity.
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No.
You are talking about trying to dictate what a person can or can not say in their own home.
That position is as blatantly ignorant of freedom as it is wrong.
 
Excon said:
No.
You are talking about trying to dictate what a person can or can not say in their own home.
That position is as blatantly ignorant of freedom as it is wrong.
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:roll: No one is dictating anything. I don't see anyone threatening to call the governor. They're making a request. This is a normal and common feature in all human relationships. We all compromise. On the scale of compromise for relationships, asking someone not to use racial slurs around their child is about the smallest one I can imagine.

If you see that as being akin to fascism, then I'm going to guess you tend to be alone either be design or by circumstance, because I've never heard of any relationship where people don't make small compromises and I can't imagine how you get along if you get this riled up over such a minor request.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
:roll: No one is dictating anything. I don't see anyone threatening to call the governor. They're making a request. This is a normal and common feature in all human relationships. We all compromise. On the scale of compromise for relationships, asking someone not to use racial slurs around their child is about the smallest one I can imagine.

If you see that as being akin to fascism, then I'm going to guess you tend to be alone either be design or by circumstance, because I've never heard of any relationship where people don't make small compromises and I can't imagine how you get along if you get this riled up over such a minor request.
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You response is as absurd as the other posts saying he was in the wrong.
 
I'm curious to know which game exactly they were playing on their trip to play the "weekly video games"(?).

If they play weekly she should be somewhat aware how her BIL plays. I know I'm a competitive gamer myself and talk lots of smack and may let out a slip or two in front a children. Never any racial slurs but it can happen and it's not the end of the world. Use it to teach your daughter that it's never appropriate and call out the guy if needed.
 
americanwoman said:
I'm curious to know which game exactly they were playing on their trip to play the "weekly video games"(?).

If they play weekly she should be somewhat aware how her BIL plays. I know I'm a competitive gamer myself and talk lots of smack and may let out a slip or two in front a children. Never any racial slurs but it can happen and it's not the end of the world. Use it to teach your daughter that it's never appropriate and call out the guy if needed.
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But but but...bro-man-dude felt he be dis-respected in his own crib man....I mean dayyyyum...in his own CRIB!!! :roll:
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
No, it doesn't. No one dictated anything. You just apparently don't understand relationships.
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Wrong. Apparently you don't and clearly don't understand what others have said.
 
radcen said:
DEAR ABBY: I was at my brother-in-law's house with my husband and our 4-year-old daughter. We were playing our weekly video game, and when my brother-in-law won a round, he shouted a racial epithet. I asked him not to use it in front of my little girl because if she repeats it at school, she could be suspended, and we don't use that kind of language in our family.

Now he claims I "disrespected him" and I should apologize to him because it was his house and he can say what he wants. He doesn't have children of his own.

Who is right here? Is it OK to say whatever you want because it's your house, or is it better to use some censorship when there are children around? -- WONDERING IN WYOMING

- How would you answer this?
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I would never take her back to his house until he apologized and realized the err of his ways.
 
Dragonfly said:
But but but...bro-man-dude felt he be dis-respected in his own crib man....I mean dayyyyum...in his own CRIB!!! :roll:
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Yeah well no one is perfect. He can say what he wants but he has to deal with the consequences. I've heard some silly things being passed off as so called slurs so who know what he even said.
 
americanwoman said:
so who know what he even said.
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Very true. Lots of speculation in the op's cut-n-paste.

I just don't understand why a racial anything needs to be spewed after a video game victory. Just makes no sense at all.
 
Dragonfly said:
Very true. Lots of speculation in the op's cut-n-paste.

I just don't understand why a racial anything needs to be spewed after a video game victory. Just makes no sense at all.
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I have no idea either. Sometimes I listen when my brother plays his video games like call of duty or whatever is it he plays and I can't understand half the crap they spew. Gamers take cursing to a whole other level.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
And thoughtlessly discriminatory beliefs like that are why we can't seem to elect any good ones. We judge politicians based on superficial things that say nothing about either their character nor their intellect.

Plenty of people manage to be decent human beings without kids -- better than some parents, in fact. It's not as though there's any shortage of bad ones around who obviously weren't improved by the experience.

Believing in god, or seeming fun to have a beer with, or reproducing does not a good politician make, nor a good human being for that matter. Westboro believes in god, alcoholics can be fun to have beer with, and most abused children are abused by their parents.
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It is not at all "thoughtlessly discriminatory", but I will leave you the thrill of finding out why on your own.
 
joG said:
It is not at all "thoughtlessly discriminatory", but I will leave you the thrill of finding out why on your own.
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So you're denying there's such a thing as bad parents, or parents who are bad people. Gee, why does CPS exist?
 
americanwoman said:
Yeah well no one is perfect. He can say what he wants but he has to deal with the consequences. I've heard some silly things being passed off as so called slurs so who know what he even said.
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That is true. The mother could be one of the hyper-sensitive types and the "slur" might not be one at all.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
So you're denying there's such a thing as bad parents, or parents who are bad people. Gee, why does CPS exist?
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Did I say that? But, if that is the way you want to argue, do so with someone else.
 
joG said:
Did I say that? But, if that is the way you want to argue, do so with someone else.
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Basically, yes. You proposed parents are inherently better people, despite all the obvious evidence to the contrary, and when that was pointed out to you, you denied that was true.
 
Excon said:
My gawd. Society has degenerated so far that people think that they can tell another what legal behavior they can or can not do in their own house.
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Not at all. Hosts are supposed to be sensitive to the needs of their guests. Legal has nothing to do with it. It's good manners. Additionally a parent has the right and responsibility to ask that certain behavior be curtailed that they believe would leave an improper impression on their children.

A host is under no obligation to be sensitive to the needs of their guests nor is an adult obliged to change their behavior at the request of a parent. Being a boor is not illegal.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
Basically, yes. You proposed parents are inherently better people, despite all the obvious evidence to the contrary, and when that was pointed out to you, you denied that was true.
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You jump to conclusions. But your conclusion is wrong. The question is why that should be so.
 
joG said:
You jump to conclusions. But your conclusion is wrong. The question is why that should be so.
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No, I didn't. You think we should elect politicians based on superficial grounds that have nothing to do with their character, and would discriminate against a candidate for something equally irrelevant -- not having kids. This is why America can't have nice things.
 
Risky Thicket said:
I totally agree. There are two teaching moments there for the child and one for the uncle. If it is my child I'm not going to miss the opportunity to teach the lesson. As far as the brother-in-law, he can listen and learn or not.

To this day I believe my children have always made me a better man.
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Dammit! I shoulda had more kids.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
No, I didn't. You think we should elect politicians based on superficial grounds that have nothing to do with their character, and would discriminate against a candidate for something equally irrelevant -- not having kids. This is why America can't have nice things.
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That is what you say, not what I said. But this is boring me now, so have a good one.
 
Gaius46 said:
Not at all. Hosts are supposed to be sensitive to the needs of their guests. Legal has nothing to do with it. It's good manners. Additionally a parent has the right and responsibility to ask that certain behavior be curtailed that they believe would leave an improper impression on their children.

A host is under no obligation to be sensitive to the needs of their guests nor is an adult obliged to change their behavior at the request of a parent. Being a boor is not illegal.
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iLOL
D'oh!
There is no supposed to be about it.
 
I'm far from a prude, as most folks here know, but when I had young children I never used serious profanity around them. "Damn" was the worst word they heard me say, and when they heard that they knew that it was "getting real".

I would have acted as the mother states that she acted, requesting he not use that word around her child and explaining the consequences should the child pick it up. If he refused to comply, got surly, and demanded an apology, I'd have simply told my husband that it was time for me and our daughter to leave, but he was welcome to continue the weekly video games without either of us.

Then I'd never have taken my child back to that house again, and would have a serious heart-to-heart with my husband about how welcome his brother would be in our home in the future, if his behavior continued.
 
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