So as not to further derail
this thread, I am moving the specific discussion.
When is adult hood? In actuality, I say that it varies with the individual. One person can grow to adulthood by say 17 while others might not make it till 19 or later. However legally it is 18. Period. That is what the law says.
Well, what do you mean by "adult?"
If you asked me when I became an adult, I would give you about a dozen different metrics that I reached at different ages, and I'd give you a few more I don't think I've totally mastered yet, even as a fully independent 24-year-old.
This is what's so tricky about it. And I think using the law as a blind hammer can land someone with a sex offense when they've done nothing wrong. Two teens at the same high school, one recently legal and one not, for example. But I think there's ways to make it simpler.
If the two people involved are of similar ages -- within 3 years, I'd say -- then even if neither is an adult, neither should be treated as a pedophile or an adult criminal. They probably both lack the full breadth of rationality we associate with a fully developed brain.
The bigger the age gap, the bigger the problem, but it's NOT just about whether the victim is an adult or not.
It's about power differential. It's about the fact that as youths, we are HARDWIRED to be at least passively deferential to elders, in order to err on the side our own well-being. A young brain sort of knows it doesn't have all the tools yet, and will treat any significantly older person as a higher class (even if their only sign of that is trying to avoid punishment -- it still shows they consider the person powerful enough to punish them).
If you have a significantly older assailant, this power difference is a huge deal. Even if someone is reproductively mature, even if they might be capable of surviving completely on their own, their brain may still tell them to submit to this older person, such as in cases of teens with people in their 20's or 30's or above.
I think we focus on the wrong thing. When can a person consent? Well, that's an unanswerable question to my mind. However, it is crystal clear that any child is at a power disadvantage versus any adult. That is the real issue that victimizes children: the lack of power.