Having been with my son since the day he was born, he is 6 years old, I will say that a spanking, when necessary, is a most effective means to get a point across when the child’s mind is filled with thought of “you are not the boss of me” or other such nonsense. I am in my boy’s life to love, guide and prepare him for life. He is not my equal, I am not his friend in as much as I am his father and I have been entrusted to be the custodian of this child’s health, safety and welfare. It is incumbent upon me to act in the best interests of my child. If someone else put there hand son my child they would be reticent to do it ever again to my child or the child of another.
I do not parent by committee; I am the first and last word when it comes to my child. I make it my business to be at his school and get to know who he is friends with, who his teachers are and watch his socialization skills and how he interacts with others. I like my boy and deeply respect him. I truly am the lucky one to have been graced with him in my life.
I would like to tell two stories:
1. I was in a book store a couple of years ago. It was winter and we both were wearing our leather jackets and our fedoras. I asked my son to come with me as it was time to leave and he was reading something and said “no”. I asked him again and my son said “No”. I said enough we are leaving and took him by his hand and started to walk. He pulled away. I get the testing the waters and am a tolerant father, but, this was over the top. I picked him up went to slap him in his butt and hit the leather of the jacket. It made a big sound. I was unaware of anyone looking and I said to him “we are going to the car now”. As it turned out I was followed by a small mob yelling at me that I was a bully and other similar comments. When I got to my car and put my son in the car a woman came up to me and said that I was aggressive. I responded no I am being a parent.
2. My son recently said to me that he wanted to be like me and got his NY Yankee hat. Why a Yankee hat? Because I wear hats and it was a gift as I live in the Boston area and come from New York. I do not think I have ever sat and watched a baseball game in my life. Well my son wanted his NY Yankee hat to wear to school I had some trepidation about this as the people in this area consider sports a religion and may give my son some grief over the hat. I picked him up after school and he threw the hat in the car and said he never wanted to wear that hat again. It turns out some teenager was taunting and intimidating my 6 year old. I spoke to a teacher I pull lunch duty with and the teacher considered this bullying due to the age and persistence of the teenager. I then spoke to the principal and she was appropriately horrified and set out to find out who the teenager was.
A few days later I went to a paint store and ordered a particular color blue. The paint guy, a big beefy man with a mechanical arm, said “oh you want Yankee blue”. I was not wearing the Yankee hat. I looked in his eyes and related what happened to my boy, the man was appalled. I needed some more paint and on the way home from school went to pick up more paint. I had my son’s Yankee hat in the car and wore mine. I told my son about the man at the paint store and that I was going to wear the hat because words that are meant to cause fear are nothing but hallow sounds. I knew my son was scared, but, I asked if he wanted to wear the hat to show that man that words meant nothing and we are not going to change because people are rude. I was very proud when my son walked up to the counter and said he was here to pick up Yankee blue paint. As we left, I thanked the paint man for working with me in teaching my son a tough lesson about life.
Life lessons require all the tools I have at my disposal whether it is an open hand on the butt or standing tall in the face of adversity.