So, Here's One For Ya[W:147]

I'm making money, I'm actually doing something I can be somewhat proud of, and - quite frankly - I'm bored, so I decided to give online dating a shot while I'm here training in Arizona. About two and half weeks ago, I met a girl I actually liked a great deal.

We went out, and things went AMAZINGLY well. She was cute, vivacious, and smart, and I had her rolling laughing pretty much the whole time. We started with dinner, moved on to a party with her friends, and finished off the night sharing a plate of french fries at a local dive bar. She comes from an Army family, so she seemed fairly impressed with my professional prospects (she actually got a bit of a twinkle in her eye while I was talking about my future plans). Hell! We even got into politics and religion a little bit, and she seemed to be into it - though she, admittedly, swings more Left than Right.

I "stumbled on the five yard line" a bit with an abortive attempt at a kiss at the end of the night, but she didn't seem to mind. We're still texting fairly regularly, for extended periods of time, and on a reciprocal basis. She texts me at least as much as I text her.

Here's the thing though... She seems really squirrely about actually hanging out again.

She's actually gone so far as to make plans, or suggest going out to a certain location, only to make up excuses to get out of it again before we go. She'll say she's "too tired," or "looks ugly," or etca, etca. We actually had a date to watch a football game together this Thursday (her idea, believe it or not), and she got kind of passive aggressive and made me reschedule because I work late that day, and wouldn't be able to get there until around half-time. Now, she's talking about doing Saturday instead.

I mean... Is it just me, or is this kind of weird?

It's like I've got to be the romantic/spontaneous one here, and she's the fuddy-duddy. That's more than a bit odd for me to say the least. :lol:

Do you think she's playing games? That she's just kind of an overly rigid perfectionist? That she's holding back because I'm only here temporarily, or what?

Is it even worth the effort to pursue if she's this much of a pain?

I hate to say it, but I assume there's probably a reason why a girl this outwardly desirable is still single in her late twenties, after all.

(And, no, Goddamnit. This isn't a 'cry for help' either. I just thought the dilemma would make for a somewhat interesting conversation. :roll

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Gathomas88 said:

I'm making money, I'm actually doing something I can be somewhat proud of, and - quite frankly - I'm bored, so I decided to give online dating a shot while I'm here training in Arizona. About two and half weeks ago, I met a girl I actually liked a great deal.

We went out, and things went AMAZINGLY well. She was cute, vivacious, and smart, and I had her rolling laughing pretty much the whole time. We started with dinner, moved on to a party with her friends, and finished off the night sharing a plate of french fries at a local dive bar. She comes from an Army family, so she seemed fairly impressed with my professional prospects (she actually got a bit of a twinkle in her eye while I was talking about my future plans). Hell! We even got into politics and religion a little bit, and she seemed to be into it - though she, admittedly, swings more Left than Right.

I "stumbled on the five yard line" a bit with an abortive attempt at a kiss at the end of the night, but she didn't seem to mind. We're still texting fairly regularly, for extended periods of time, and on a reciprocal basis. She texts me at least as much as I text her.

Here's the thing though... She seems really squirrely about actually hanging out again.

She's actually gone so far as to make plans, or suggest going out to a certain location, only to make up excuses to get out of it again before we go. She'll say she's "too tired," or "looks ugly," or etca, etca. We actually had a date to watch a football game together this Thursday (her idea, believe it or not), and she got kind of passive aggressive and made me reschedule because I work late that day, and wouldn't be able to get there until around half-time. Now, she's talking about doing Saturday instead.

I mean... Is it just me, or is this kind of weird?

It's like I've got to be the romantic/spontaneous one here, and she's the fuddy-duddy. That's more than a bit odd for me to say the least. :lol:

Do you think she's playing games? That she's just kind of an overly rigid perfectionist? Is she holding back because I'm only here temporarily, or what?

Is it even worth the effort to pursue if she's this much of a pain?

I hate to say it, but I assume there's probably a reason why a girl this outwardly desirable is still single in her late twenties, after all.

(And, no, Goddamnit. This isn't a 'cry for help' either. I just thought the dilemma would make for a somewhat interesting conversation. :roll

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Sounds married.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Hawkeye10 said:

Sounds married.

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Not if her Facebook is any indication...

She seems to be very work oriented, however. I will say that much.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Gathomas88 said:

Not if her Facebook is any indication...

She seems to be very work oriented, however. I will say that much.

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None of your proposals make any sense to me.

I dont know, but even one great date while there is a win, right?

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Hawkeye10 said:

None of your proposals make any sense to me.

I dont know, but even one great date while there is a win, right?

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True, though I'd rather get a 2nd one as well. Lol

Eh... I guess we'll see what comes of Saturday.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Were these planned activities 'going out', or at her place?

If 'going out', maybe if she's beat she'd rather just chill at her place (but then she'd likely suggest that).

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Chomsky said:

Were these planned activities 'going out', or at her place?

If 'going out', maybe if she's beat she'd rather just chill at her place (but then she'd likely suggest that).

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Going out. No, she certainly hasn't suggested my coming over.

Doesn't really strike me as being "that kind of girl." lol

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Gathomas88 said:

True, though I'd rather get a 2nd one as well. Lol

Eh... I guess we'll see what comes of Saturday.

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I read "unavailable", which ya could be cause they want to concentrate on work....depending on the job.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Gathomas88 said:

...Here's the thing though... She seems really squirrely about actually hanging out again.

She's actually gone so far as to make plans, or suggest going out to a certain location, only to make up excuses to get out of it again before we go. She'll say she's "too tired," or "looks ugly," or etca, etca. We actually had a date to watch a football game together this Thursday (her idea, believe it or not), and she got kind of passive aggressive and made me reschedule because I work late that day, and wouldn't be able to get there until around half-time. Now, she's talking about doing Saturday instead.

I mean... Is it just me, or is this kind of weird?

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Just ask her out yourself. If she makes an excuse for the time in question, ask her when the best date/time is and set the date.

If she backs out at any point? You are clearly wasting your time, because you are barely in the "friend zone" if even that. Move on.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Gathomas88 said:

Going out. No, she certainly hasn't suggested my coming over.

Doesn't really strike me as being "that kind of girl." lol

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I've been married for awhile, but my dates before were more serious then, I guess! :mrgreen:

But if you're hanging around in another state wanting something to do, finding "that kinda' girl" night not be a bad idea! :thumbs:

Anyhow, maybe she's busy at work, or perhaps even casually dating someone else (all's fair in love and war).

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Hawkeye10 said:

I read "unavailable", which ya could be cause they want to concentrate on work....depending on the job.

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Yeah. Which is frankly kind of weird, because she comes on real strong when she wants to as well.

Our first date was actually entirely her idea. I sent her a brief introductory message, and she basically responded with a whole itinerary invite to a group get together. I texted her a couple of days after the initial invite, and expanded that into dinner beforehand, and I suggested the bar afterwards because things were going well.

She seems to be very "hot and cold."

Captain Adverse said:

Just ask her out yourself. If she makes an excuse for the time in question, ask her when the best time is and set a date.

If she backs out at any point? You are wasting your time. Move on.

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Ummm... Yeah. We're kind of past that point, dude. We've set and canceled at least two dates at this point. :lol:

The weird thing is just that she still expresses interest, and sets times to get together. She hasn't gone silent, which is usually the case. That's what is confusing me about it.

Bleh. Like I said, I'll give her one last shot with regard to Saturday. If she backs out of that, I'm done messing around with her.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

she's not into you

keep looking for someone who can be

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Gathomas88 said:

Yeah. Which is frankly kind of weird, because she comes on real strong when she wants to as well.

Our first date was actually entirely her idea. I sent her a brief introductory message, and she basically responded with a whole itinerary invite to a group get together. I texted her a couple of days after the initial invite, and expanded that into dinner beforehand, and I suggested the bar afterwards.

She seems to be very "hot and cold."



Ummm... Yeah. We're kind of past that point, dude. We've set and canceled at least two dates at this point. :lol:

The weird thing is just that she still expresses interest, and sets times to get together. She hasn't gone silent, which is usually the case. That's what is confusing me about it.

Bleh. Like I said, I'll give her one last shot with regard to Saturday. If she backs out of that, I'm done messing around with her.

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Yep! You are CLEARLY settled into her "Friend Zone." All she wants to do is chat from time to time with her new guy friend.

Women who are really interested will be actively seeking further personal encounters. If you don't make a move, THEY will act in some way to encourage you to do so.

I doubt you will be successful the next time...unless you "Guilt" her into it. That would be pretty lame. I suggest you look elsewhere and stop wasting your time.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Gathomas88 said:

I'm making money, I'm actually doing something I can be somewhat proud of, and - quite frankly - I'm bored, so I decided to give online dating a shot while I'm here training in Arizona. About two and half weeks ago, I met a girl I actually liked a great deal.

We went out, and things went AMAZINGLY well. She was cute, vivacious, and smart, and I had her rolling laughing pretty much the whole time. We started with dinner, moved on to a party with her friends, and finished off the night sharing a plate of french fries at a local dive bar. She comes from an Army family, so she seemed fairly impressed with my professional prospects (she actually got a bit of a twinkle in her eye while I was talking about my future plans). Hell! We even got into politics and religion a little bit, and she seemed to be into it - though she, admittedly, swings more Left than Right.

I "stumbled on the five yard line" a bit with an abortive attempt at a kiss at the end of the night, but she didn't seem to mind. We're still texting fairly regularly, for extended periods of time, and on a reciprocal basis. She texts me at least as much as I text her.

Here's the thing though... She seems really squirrely about actually hanging out again.

She's actually gone so far as to make plans, or suggest going out to a certain location, only to make up excuses to get out of it again before we go. She'll say she's "too tired," or "looks ugly," or etca, etca. We actually had a date to watch a football game together this Thursday (her idea, believe it or not), and she got kind of passive aggressive and made me reschedule because I work late that day, and wouldn't be able to get there until around half-time. Now, she's talking about doing Saturday instead.

I mean... Is it just me, or is this kind of weird?

It's like I've got to be the romantic/spontaneous one here, and she's the fuddy-duddy. That's more than a bit odd for me to say the least. :lol:

Do you think she's playing games? That she's just kind of an overly rigid perfectionist? That she's holding back because I'm only here temporarily, or what?

Is it even worth the effort to pursue if she's this much of a pain?

I hate to say it, but I assume there's probably a reason why a girl this outwardly desirable is still single in her late twenties, after all.

(And, no, Goddamnit. This isn't a 'cry for help' either. I just thought the dilemma would make for a somewhat interesting conversation. :roll

Click to expand...

I have internet dated since 2001.

You my friend have ran into an " Internet Queen ".

An attractive woman who enjoys dating, and the ego trip that goes along with it.

Look at how long she has been on-line "looking for Mr. Right "?

Reasonable attractive women get hooked on the internet ego trip and love having men buy them dinner every night of the week. I have met them, I know.

That is why I learned early on, that the first meeting is just that....a meeting. THEN you see if you want to go out on a date or not. I got tired of buying all the single women in my local dinner, just to have them blow me off no matter how well the date went. Sound familiar?

That is when I learned to identify and avoid INTERNET QUEENS. There are only a few important points to look for.

These new skills allowed me to meet and get to know my new wife.

PS...A buddy of mine was on-line in Phoenix and he got really tired of all of the internet queens in the area too. When he expanded his search he met a very nice lady in Rapid City, SD and has been with her three years now.

I even wrote a funny song about Internet Queens called " Dinner With Jack ".

"..she's an internet queen and ruling her roost,
her egos so big, it don't need a boost.
Taking from men all she get
When the last time she cooked dinner is anyone's bet."

I can let you know the warning signs if you would like.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Captain Adverse said:

Yep! You are CLEARLY settled into her "Friend Zone." All she wants to do is chat from time to time with her new guy friend.

Women who are really interested will be actively seeking further personal encounters. If you don't make a move, THEY will act in some way to encourage you to do so.

I doubt you will be successful the next time...unless you "Guilt" her into it. That would be pretty lame. I suggest you look elsewhere and stop wasting your time.

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You might very well be right. Though... At the same time, her language in her texts implies a bit more than that.

Or I could be completely misreading things. Who the Hell knows! :lol:

But yah, like I said, I'll give her Saturday and see how that goes. She's certainly not as into things as the last girl I went out with, I can say that for sure.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Captain Adverse said:

Just ask her out yourself. If she makes an excuse for the time in question, ask her when the best date/time is and set the date.

If she backs out at any point? You are clearly wasting your time, because you are barely in the "friend zone" if even that. Move on.

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If I am a girl and I meet our hero on a dating site, and I know he will not be around for long, then if I am having fun OR if I am looking for a mate I want to get as much of him as I can while I can.

There should be no iffy here.

Gath seems to sense this,

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

RetiredNSmilin said:

I have internet dated since 2001.

You my friend have ran into an " Internet Queen ".

An attractive woman who enjoys dating, and the ego trip that goes along with it.

Look at how long she has been on-line "looking for Mr. Right "?

Reasonable attractive women get hooked on the internet ego trip and love having men buy them dinner every night of the week. I have met them, I know.

That is why I learned early on, that the first meeting is just that....a meeting. THEN you see if you want to go out on a date or not. I got tired of buying all the single women in my local dinner, just to have them blow me off no matter how well the date went. Sound familiar?

That is when I learned to identify and avoid INTERNET QUEENS. There are only a few important points to look for.

These new skills allowed me to meet and get to know my new wife.

PS...A buddy of mine was on-line in Phoenix and he got really tired of all of the internet queens in the area too. When he expanded his search he met a very nice lady in Rapid City, SD and has been with her three years now.

I even wrote a funny song about Internet Queens called " Dinner With Jack ".

"..she's an internet queen and ruling her roost,
her egos so big, it don't need a boost.
Taking from men all she get
When the last time she cooked dinner is anyone's bet."

I can let you know the warning signs if you would like.

Click to expand...

I never internet dated, but this post looks legit to me.

I'm no women - so I'm not sure if dealing with a guy I don't know would be worth it for free dinner and drinks, but I suppose I can see this possibly happening.

Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

RetiredNSmilin said:

I have internet dated since 2001.

You my friend have ran into an " Internet Queen ".

An attractive woman who enjoys dating, and the ego trip that goes along with it.

Look at how long she has been on-line "looking for Mr. Right "?

Reasonable attractive women get hooked on the internet ego trip and love having men buy them dinner every night of the week. I have met them, I know.

That is why I learned early on, that the first meeting is just that....a meeting. THEN you see if you want to go out on a date or not. I got tired of buying all the single women in my local dinner, just to have them blow me off no matter how well the date went. Sound familiar?

That is when I learned to identify and avoid INTERNET QUEENS. There are only a few important points to look for.

These new skills allowed me to meet and get to know my new wife.

PS...A buddy of mine was on-line in Phoenix and he got really tired of all of the internet queens in the area too. When he expanded his search he met a very nice lady in Rapid City, SD and has been with her three years now.

I even wrote a funny song about Internet Queens called " Dinner With Jack ".

"..she's an internet queen and ruling her roost,
her egos so big, it don't need a boost.
Taking from men all she get
When the last time she cooked dinner is anyone's bet."

I can let you know the warning signs if you would like.

Click to expand...

Seems like there is too much texting, more importantly too much time spent texting by her, for this to be it. She is not home all day eating bonbons with nothing better to do than chat up big time a much of guys.

I think I have a better explanation (Unavailable, probably married), but yours aint too shabby.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Gathomas88 said:

I'm making money, I'm actually doing something I can be somewhat proud of, and - quite frankly - I'm bored, so I decided to give online dating a shot while I'm here training in Arizona. About two and half weeks ago, I met a girl I actually liked a great deal.

We went out, and things went AMAZINGLY well. She was cute, vivacious, and smart, and I had her rolling laughing pretty much the whole time. We started with dinner, moved on to a party with her friends, and finished off the night sharing a plate of french fries at a local dive bar. She comes from an Army family, so she seemed fairly impressed with my professional prospects (she actually got a bit of a twinkle in her eye while I was talking about my future plans). Hell! We even got into politics and religion a little bit, and she seemed to be into it - though she, admittedly, swings more Left than Right.

I "stumbled on the five yard line" a bit with an abortive attempt at a kiss at the end of the night, but she didn't seem to mind. We're still texting fairly regularly, for extended periods of time, and on a reciprocal basis. She texts me at least as much as I text her.

Here's the thing though... She seems really squirrely about actually hanging out again.

She's actually gone so far as to make plans, or suggest going out to a certain location, only to make up excuses to get out of it again before we go. She'll say she's "too tired," or "looks ugly," or etca, etca. We actually had a date to watch a football game together this Thursday (her idea, believe it or not), and she got kind of passive aggressive and made me reschedule because I work late that day, and wouldn't be able to get there until around half-time. Now, she's talking about doing Saturday instead.

I mean... Is it just me, or is this kind of weird?

It's like I've got to be the romantic/spontaneous one here, and she's the fuddy-duddy. That's more than a bit odd for me to say the least. :lol:

Do you think she's playing games? That she's just kind of an overly rigid perfectionist? That she's holding back because I'm only here temporarily, or what?

Is it even worth the effort to pursue if she's this much of a pain?

I hate to say it, but I assume there's probably a reason why a girl this outwardly desirable is still single in her late twenties, after all.

(And, no, Goddamnit. This isn't a 'cry for help' either. I just thought the dilemma would make for a somewhat interesting conversation. :roll

Click to expand...

One of three theories.

RetiredNSmilin might be right about the "internet queen" thing. But if that were the case, I'd have kind of expected her to either be more physical, or blacked out communication quickly.

My leading theory is "WHY do I not feel the clickiness?! I like him, he's nice, but... nope." Some people do a weird little "Do I go out again" song and dance for a while before dropping out of contact.

Or, possibly, she's really just a flake.

Only she knows for sure, at the end of the day. Not a whole lot you can do in this situation except either play, or not play.

Either way, I say your "if she cancels Saturday I'm out" gameplan is probably a good one.

But let me just say, I recommend you not judge people who are single in their late 20's given that... well...

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

SmokeAndMirrors said:

One of three theories.

RetiredNSmilin might be right about the "internet queen" thing. But if that were the case, I'd have kind of expected her to either be more physical, or blacked out communication quickly.

My leading theory is "WHY do I not feel the clickiness?! I like him, he's nice, but... nope." Some people do a weird little "Do I go out again" song and dance for a while before dropping out of contact.

Or, possibly, she's really just a flake.

Only she knows for sure, at the end of the day. Not a whole lot you can do in this situation except either play, or not play.

Either way, I say your "if she cancels Saturday I'm out" gameplan is probably a good one.

Click to expand...

Well... To be fair, this is my first time ever dealing with an "NTJ" female as well. That might have something to do with what I'm observing here.

The subject came up during one of our text conversations, and she said she was ENTJ. Frankly, that makes sense... given her vivacious nature, intellectual side, and strong focus on her job.

I could just be running afoul of a particularly "calculated" and perfectionistic approach to dating here, even if she is legitimately interested.

Or... She could just be a flake who's toying with me. I guess we'll see. lol

But let me just say, I recommend you not judge people who are single in their late 20's given that... well...

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Yeah, but I know what's up with me. I'm an introvert who's been broke as Hell for the last four years. :lol:

Pretty girls don't usually have to worry that much about finding some guy to scoop them up, assuming they're amenable to it. In her case, I'm thinking it's probably been her job keeping her single more than anything else.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Gathomas88 said:

We've set and canceled at least two dates at this point...I'll give her one last shot with regard to Saturday. If she backs out of that, I'm done messing around with her.

Click to expand...

It's obvious you both like each other, so just relax and let it take it's course. If it is true that good things come to those who wait, then you could be passing up a really good thing here.

Relax.
Don't be in such a hurry.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Gathomas88 said:

Well... To be fair, this is my first time ever dealing with an "NTJ" female as well. That might have something to do with what I'm observing here.

The subject came up during one of our text conversations, and she said she was ENTJ. Frankly, that makes sense... given her vivacious nature, intellectual side, and strong focus on her job.

I could just be running afoul of a particularly "calculated" and perfectionistic approach to dating here, even if she is legitimately interested.

Or... She could just be a flake who's toying with me. I guess we'll see. lol

Yeah, but I know what's up with me. I'm an introvert who's been broke as Hell for the last four years. :lol:

Pretty girls don't usually have to worry that much about finding some guy to scoop them up, assuming they're amenable to it. In her case, I'm thinking it's probably been her job keeping her single more than anything else.

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I have to say I doubt your theory. Making plans and then breaking them seems very opposite of that -- it's inherently lacking in certainty.

Whether that lack of certainty is coming from her feelings or just her general personality is really the main question, I think. If it's the latter, she's just a waste of your time no matter what happens. If it's the former, well... if that's not sorted by date 2, I'd say it's probably not going to be.

Personality tests are fun and sometimes even useful (I do believe you've read my posts on my type and how weirdly accurate it is in some capacities). But at the end of the day, human beings are all internally complex, our lives are externally complex, and we even act against our basic personality on a very regular basis. You can't predict someone's day-to-day actions based on something like the Myers-Briggs, much as I'm sure that frustrates you.

So, Here's One For Ya

If she thinks spending time with you is important, she'll make up excuses to be with you rather than to avoid her.

If you like her, give her another shot. If not, keep searching.

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Chomsky said:

I never internet dated, but this post looks legit to me.

I'm no women - so I'm not sure if dealing with a guy I don't know would be worth it for free dinner and drinks, but I suppose I can see this possibly happening.

Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Click to expand...

Hawkeye10 said:

Seems like there is too much texting, more importantly too much time spent texting by her, for this to be it. She is not home all day eating bonbons with nothing better to do than chat up big time a much of guys.

I think I have a better explanation (Unavailable, probably married), but yours aint too shabby.

Click to expand...

Let me explain my reasons, and how I busted one of them, and how I could tell from then on.

OK, Houston, TX is the 4th largest city in the country. Lots of women to date there....fine.

I meet one lady at the 24/7 DOT Café near Gulfgate Mall. We had dinner. After dinner, I ask if she would like to meet again and go on another date. Her answer was very vague and non-committal.

Then...now get this, guys.....then she orders a full fried chicken dinner TO GO. I said, I hope you are paying for that, because I sure as hell and not going to. Not only that, I do not think I feel like paying for the dinner you had with me. I think you are just using me.

My reply was a torrent of profanity, and she drew back to slap me, but I got into a defensive posture, so she did not. I then went to the cash register and paid for my dinner and left.

OK, that was a lesson learned. Now number 2.

We talk on the phone, and she says she likes this particular Mexican place, and loves the house red wine they have there.

OK, I get there early, and order her a glass of the house red wine. She arrives and looks at it and says "What is this"? I tell her it is the red wine she likes so much.

She says, to hell with that, and orders a double bourbon mixed drink. Alarm number 1 went off.

During the course of the conversation, she saw two yard flamingos in the places gift shop and kept hinting over and over again how she would love to have them in her yard, and how nice they would look there. Alarm number 2 went off.

Then she finished/gulped down her double bourbon mixed drink and ordered another one. Alarm number 3 went off.

OK, sweetheart, I am not sure what kind of horny and lonely men you have been dealing with, and I am one of them, but I ALSO have my pride and will not be abused like this.

I will pay for your first drink, and mine, and that is all.

Good day, internet queen!

All of this really happened, and it is why I always ensure my very first meeting with an internet date is only a meet and greet TO SEE if you want to go on a date.

Since then, I have saved myself many a frustrating time by ensuring the lady knows all this right up front.

The women also appreciated it, because they also know it is much less pressure on them, and they do not have to concern themselves if they guy wants something at the end of the dinner and movie.

One woman told me she would fall in love with a man if he dropped off a bag of Tacos and a DVD on Friday night, and said he would call her sometime Saturday afternoon, then left her to enjoy the tacos and movie in her nighty. She said that would be the most considerate guy in the whole world.

Another woman had as her main pic one of her in her bathrobe, her hair a complete mess, no makeup, smoking a cigarette and sipping coffee while sitting at her kitchen table.

I just had to ask her why she did that as her main pic.

She said that is what she looks like " the day after ", and if the man can deal with it, then he is a keeper.

I could write a book, and probably should. Any ghost writers out there?

Re: So, Here's One For Ya

Gathomas88 said:

I'm making money, I'm actually doing something I can be somewhat proud of, and - quite frankly - I'm bored, so I decided to give online dating a shot while I'm here training in Arizona. About two and half weeks ago, I met a girl I actually liked a great deal.

We went out, and things went AMAZINGLY well. She was cute, vivacious, and smart, and I had her rolling laughing pretty much the whole time. We started with dinner, moved on to a party with her friends, and finished off the night sharing a plate of french fries at a local dive bar. She comes from an Army family, so she seemed fairly impressed with my professional prospects (she actually got a bit of a twinkle in her eye while I was talking about my future plans). Hell! We even got into politics and religion a little bit, and she seemed to be into it - though she, admittedly, swings more Left than Right.

I "stumbled on the five yard line" a bit with an abortive attempt at a kiss at the end of the night, but she didn't seem to mind. We're still texting fairly regularly, for extended periods of time, and on a reciprocal basis. She texts me at least as much as I text her.

Here's the thing though... She seems really squirrely about actually hanging out again.

She's actually gone so far as to make plans, or suggest going out to a certain location, only to make up excuses to get out of it again before we go. She'll say she's "too tired," or "looks ugly," or etca, etca. We actually had a date to watch a football game together this Thursday (her idea, believe it or not), and she got kind of passive aggressive and made me reschedule because I work late that day, and wouldn't be able to get there until around half-time. Now, she's talking about doing Saturday instead.

I mean... Is it just me, or is this kind of weird?

It's like I've got to be the romantic/spontaneous one here, and she's the fuddy-duddy. That's more than a bit odd for me to say the least. :lol:

Do you think she's playing games? That she's just kind of an overly rigid perfectionist? That she's holding back because I'm only here temporarily, or what?

Is it even worth the effort to pursue if she's this much of a pain?

I hate to say it, but I assume there's probably a reason why a girl this outwardly desirable is still single in her late twenties, after all.

(And, no, Goddamnit. This isn't a 'cry for help' either. I just thought the dilemma would make for a somewhat interesting conversation. :roll

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This won't help, but letting off and seeing how the reactiin is, whether she asks for a date might help. If she doesn't? Try someone else. There are quite a few ladies out there, you know?