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It is very difficult for a woman with a history in abusive relationships to break off the one she is in. Psychologically, because things are often so bad, when things are relatively good, comparatively, they feel fantastic to her. That's the tease of the abuser. She didn't choose him over you. She choose the tease. My suggestion would be to be her friend, but back off on the relationship perspective. You're only going to get hurt at this point, as she is still knee deep in the abuse.
Exactly what I said on page one though I added that looking like she was angling in would look like being a homewrecker which will not go well.
Yourstar: Where you went wrong is that you did not realize that she is not available even though I and I think also others told you that, and now you are hurt because you were not chosen because you still believe that it was possible. Things are tougher now, maybe you can get this into your head fast and then try to be a good friend, but once the hurt and bitterness starts it tends to consume everything fast. I have no way too know how much she has soured on you during this time.
There are a not of near misses in life, this very well may be one for you.