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Single As F**** [W:67]

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Lursa said:
Your OP.

Aside from the living at home part.
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Which makes absolutely no sense. No one here's "complaining" about anything having to do with casual sex. I actually like the fact that she doesn't have it.

As I said before, she certainly comes off as having an "appetite" (probably stronger than mine, truth be told). She's simply cautious, and doesn't "give it away" freely.

That's actually a quality I explicitly look for in a girl, sooo.... Again, your post doesn't really make sense.

The OP was drawing attention to the inconvenience of the timing involved and my financial circumstances more than anything else.
 
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Gathomas88 said:
Which makes absolutely no sense. No one here's "complaining" about anything having to do with casual sex. I actually like the fact that she doesn't have it.

As I said before, she certainly comes off as having an "appetite" (probably stronger than mine, truth be told). She's simply cautious, and doesn't "give it away" freely.

That's actually a quality I explicitly look for in a girl, sooo.... Again, your post doesn't really make sense.

The OP was drawing attention to the inconvenience of the timing involved and my financial circumstances more than anything else.
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I wasnt talking about her.
Gathomas88 said:
Don't get me wrong. I'm totally okay with being in a relationship. It's just been a loooooong time since I've really been with anybody. I'm not even really sure if I know how to do it anymore.
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Lursa said:
LMAO

Continually dismiss 'casual' sex just for enjoyment as base and degenerate and selfish (and 'not really enjoyable when you dissect it under a microscope,' because "studies say!" lol) and then complain when you're afraid you cant hold up your side of the bargain enough?

Self-righteous repression has its consequences.
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Complain ? Afraid ?

I think it's completely human to be concerned about your ability to satisfy your partner. I'm sure many of the most promiscuous among us share the very same insecurities.

I find many faults with many of Gath's views but when he comes here with personal details and asking for personal advice, i find the moral imperative to be to look past those faults and seek to simply provide help to a human being who is asking for help.
 
Lursa said:
I wasnt talking about her.
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Which isn't a valid point... Why, exactly? I'm a pretty independent person by nature, and, put simply, I'm "rusty."

Hardly an insurmountable problem, but worth talking about either way regardless, IMO. Frankly, I still don't really see what it has to do with casual sex.

Hell! I'd actually rather be "rusty" than "worn out" from excessive use. Rust can be cleaned off. lol
 
Absentglare said:
Complain ? Afraid ?

I think it's completely human to be concerned about your ability to satisfy your partner. I'm sure many of the most promiscuous among us share the very same insecurities.

I find many faults with many of Gath's views but when he comes here with personal details and asking for personal advice, i find the moral imperative to be to look past those faults and seek to simply provide help to a human being who is asking for help.
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Honestly I found it in What's New and didnt realize what sub-forum it was.

I tire of his sniping about his imaginary fantasies that I am a selfish person because I believe it's fine for people to have casual sex if that's what they want and have the same expectations. He chooses to interpret that as I'm immoral (in his religious perspective) and have had loads of sexual partners. When in truth, altho I do believe people should enjoy sex as much and as often as they like, my upbringing ingrained a need for more intimacy before sex and I have never done the 'one night stand' thing. But that does not mean I cannot respect other people's choices.

Just like with women going topless. I think it's fine, see no issues with it, but I personally would not be comfortable in most situations (altho beaches and snowfields have worked well!).
 
Gathomas88 said:
Which isn't a valid point... Why, exactly? I'm a pretty independent person by nature, and, put simply, I'm "rusty."

Hardly an insurmountable problem, but worth talking about either way regardless, IMO. Frankly, I still don't really see what it has to do with casual sex.

Hell! I'd actually rather be "rusty" than "worn out" from excessive use. Rust can be cleaned off. lol
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Yeah, because you can 'wear it out.':roll:

Well, I have been chided because this is not the appropriate place to express my less than supportive views, which I now realize and concur, so I will retire.
 
Lursa said:
Honestly I found it in What's New and didnt realize what sub-forum it was.

I tire of his sniping about his imaginary fantasies that I am a selfish person because I believe it's fine for people to have casual sex if that's what they want and have the same expectations. He chooses to interpret that as I'm immoral (in his religious perspective) and have had loads of sexual partners. When in truth, altho I do believe people should enjoy sex as much and as often as they like, my upbringing ingrained a need for more intimacy before sex and I have never done the 'one night stand' thing. But that does not mean I cannot respect other people's choices.

Just like with women going topless. I think it's fine, see no issues with it, but I personally would not be comfortable in most situations (altho beaches and snowfields have worked well!).
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Well, I certainly find your positions "immoral." I have not, however, accused you of any of the rest.

Lursa said:
Yeah, because you can 'wear it out.'
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Broken hearts take a toll, I'm afraid. Statistically speaking, people with higher partner counts do very often seem to have trouble maintaining marriages later in life.

Again, in any eventuality, I'd much rather be inexperienced than jaded.

Well, I have been chided because this is not the appropriate place to express my less than supportive views, which I now realize and concur, so I will retire.
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Fair enough.
 
Gathomas88 said:
Well, I certainly find your positions "immoral." I have not, however, accused you of any of the rest.
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Of course I dont care about someone as sexually repressed as you judging my 'morals', but you are lying to write you dont call me selfish re: my opinions on this subject all the time.
 
Lursa said:
Of course I dont care about someone as sexually repressed as you
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You people keep trying to use that as an insult. As far as I'm concerned, however, it's not even a real thing. :lol:

To turn a popular expression on its head, "A 'sexually repressed' person is anyone behaving more responsibly than you are."

judging my 'morals', but you are lying to write you dont call me selfish re: my opinions on this subject all the time.
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Well, yeah, I do, because I think they are. I think the entire Pro-Choice position in a nut shell is built almost exclusively around amoral selfishness, and so too is the very concept of promiscuity (by definition, the entire exploit focuses around maximizing your own pleasure first and foremost while treating the other person as a disposable afterthought - I'm sorry, but if that's not 'selfish,' I don't know what is).

I never accused you of having a great number of sexual partners, however, and I don't see what any of the above has to do with this thread.

Have my expressed attitudes here been "selfish?" I didn't really think so.
 
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Jesse Booth said:
Creativity and maturity are very different things, Beefheart. And if you stopped to think maturely for a second, you would realize how undignified this pissing match is, for both of you.



If you weren't phrasing everything in such deliberately insulting ways, your advice would actually be helpful to gath. As it is, however, you're only inflaming this situation. Since when has deliberately provoking someone ever been the slightest bit constructive in this sort of situation?
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He won't listen if I am nice or nasty, he insults, he gets it back.
 
Gathomas88 said:
I'll make sure to let my lady-friend know of your opinion so she can take it under consideration.
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Once you are done inflating her.
 
Gathomas88 said:
maximizing your own pleasure first and foremost while treating the other person as a disposable afterthought
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Whomever you got that from was doing it wrong.
 
Gathomas88 said:
You people keep trying to use that as an insult. As far as I'm concerned, however, it's not even a real thing. :lol:

To turn a popular expression on its head, "A 'sexually repressed' person is anyone behaving more responsibly than you are."



Well, yeah, I do, because I think they are. I think the entire Pro-Choice position in a nut shell is built almost exclusively around amoral selfishness, and so too is the very concept of promiscuity (by definition, the entire exploit focuses around maximizing your own pleasure first and foremost while treating the other person as an afterthought - I'm sorry, but if that's not 'selfish,' I don't know what is).
.
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Ha ha ha. And the field of psychology has a very different take on 'sexual repression.'

No worries, and thanks for writing it all out again. Not only is it wrong, but it also incorrectly assumes the 'other person' is an afterthought. But see...all your views expressed here are a playbook for regret, disappointment, and dissatisfaction. Good luck with that. Far be it from selfish ol' me to try to convince you otherwise.
 
ecofarm said:
Whomever you got that from was doing it wrong.
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Whoever thinks otherwise is lying to themselves.

Lursa said:
Ha ha ha. And the field of psychology has a very different take on 'sexual repression.'
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Junk science you mean? Yeah, I'm good. lol

FYI, going by psychology, highly promiscuous behavior is commonly associated with psychological problems as well. In fact, it's actually more commonly associated with problems than the reverse. ;)

College Promiscuity Linked To Anxiety And Depression

Borderline Personality Disorder

The Psychological Root of Promiscuity

Dark Triad Personality Type - Mating Strategies

No worries, and thanks for writing it all out again. Not only is it wrong, but it also incorrectly assumes the 'other person' is an afterthought. But see...all your views expressed here are a playbook for regret, disappointment, and dissatisfaction. Good luck with that. Far be it from selfish ol' me to try to convince you otherwise.
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ROFL

Yeah. Again, if anyone thinks that the frat-bro banging three random chicks one after the other on a friday night really gives a damn about any them (including said frat-bro himself), they're fooling themselves.

The rest of your post is a lot of ad hominem word salad that doesn't actually mean anything. My aversion to one night stands, and my distate for the culture which promotes them, is not in any sense psychologically aberrant or unhealthy.

FYI, this still doesn't have a damn thing to do with the topic of this thread, or my OP.
 
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Moderator's Warning:
If you have nothing constructive to add, ADD NOTHING and leave the thread. I hope that is clear.
 
Gathomas88 said:
Whoever thinks otherwise is lying to themselves.



Junk science you mean? Yeah, I'm good. lol

FYI, going by psychology, highly promiscuous behavior is commonly associated with psychological problems as well. In fact, it's actually more commonly associated with problems than the reverse. ;)

College Promiscuity Linked To Anxiety And Depression

Borderline Personality Disorder

The Psychological Root of Promiscuity

Dark Triad Personality Type - Mating Strategies



ROFL

Yeah. Again, if anyone thinks that the frat-bro banging three random chicks one after the other on a friday night really gives a damn about any them (including said frat-bro himself), they're fooling themselves.

The rest of your post is a lot of ad hominem word salad that doesn't actually mean anything. My aversion to one night stands, and my distate for the culture which promotes them, is not in any sense psychologically aberrant or unhealthy.
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LMAO, yeah I can come up with a laundry list too...a little self-help list for your sexual repression:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...ession-the-malady-considers-itself-the-remedy

http://www.libchrist.com/political/folly.html

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110526192500AArhzGG

http://www.healthyplace.com/sex/articles/psychology-of-compartmentalizing-sex/

http://www.covenanteyes.com/2009/09...nd-sexual-repression-reexamining-old-beliefs/


http://sociological-eye.blogspot.com/2015/02/why-does-sexual-repression-exist.html

You can cling all you want to your repression. You will be the one that lives with it.....it aint influencing anyone else. The very way you describe 'what you imagine' casual sex is for most people is a sad sad view into your little world. Are there uses and abuses? Sure, just like with anything else in life. So? For the most part, mentally healthy happy people enjoy sex with committed partners and/or casually. Sorry if that chaps your butt.
 
Well if my links werent perceived as 'constructive' I guess I'll be 'invited' to leave the thread.

ok, no use Gath having to cut and paste all his old depressing stuff anyway.
 
Lursa said:
LMAO, yeah I can come up with a laundry list too...a little self-help list for your sexual repression:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...ession-the-malady-considers-itself-the-remedy

The folly of Sexual Repression

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110526192500AArhzGG

Walls of Repression - Psychology of Compartmentalizing Sex - HealthyPlace

Alfred Kinsey, Christian Culture, and Sexual Repression: Reexamining Old Beliefs - Covenant Eyes


http://sociological-eye.blogspot.com/2015/02/why-does-sexual-repression-exist.html

You can cling all you want to your repression. You will be the one that lives with it.....it aint influencing anyone else. The very way you describe 'what you imagine' casual sex is for most people is a sad sad view into your little world. Are there uses and abuses? Sure, just like with anything else in life. So? For the most part, mentally healthy happy people enjoy sex with committed partners and/or casually. Sorry if that chaps your butt.
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The way I describe what casual sex actually is (when I've had it, and you haven't), you mean? Again... Yeah, thanks. I'm good. :lol:

Your warped insistence on promoting hyper-sexual behavior aside, no serious psychologist is going to say that simply finding casual sex to be personally and morally distasteful is in any sense "disordered."

In any case, there's a mod warning up now, so let's simply let this lie.
 
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Absentglare said:
Living with your parents is not a badge of shame.

Most young 20 somethings are living off of the bank of mom and dad in some form. Those who are not likely received considerable assistance.

There is no shame in saving money in your youth, even if it means you stay with two people you know and love.
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It's a badge of shame for the parents. :2razz:

Anyway absolutely nothing wrong with minimizing expenses and saving to get a leg up and move towards independence. That wasn't my point, my point was one should be independent or well on the road to independence before embarking into a serious relationship. And by serious relationship I mean this is the one, marriage, family etc.
 
Winchester said:
It's a badge of shame for the parents. :2razz:

Anyway absolutely nothing wrong with minimizing expenses and saving to get a leg up and move towards independence. That wasn't my point, my point was one should be independent or well on the road to independence before embarking into a serious relationship. And by serious relationship I mean this is the one, marriage, family etc.
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Getting a leg up by saving money, getting an education or starting a career while living at home until your mid-twenties is actually smart. Starting a serious relationship while on your parent's dime kind of defeats the purpose of living there to get a leg up, IMO. But, it's perfectly natural to end up in that situation. Of course, once that happens, it's time to move out.
 
Winchester said:
It's a badge of shame for the parents. :2razz:

Anyway absolutely nothing wrong with minimizing expenses and saving to get a leg up and move towards independence. That wasn't my point, my point was one should be independent or well on the road to independence before embarking into a serious relationship. And by serious relationship I mean this is the one, marriage, family etc.
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calamity said:
Getting a leg up by saving money, getting an education or starting a career while living at home until your mid-twenties is actually smart. Starting a serious relationship while on your parent's dime kind of defeats the purpose of living there to get a leg up, IMO. But, it's perfectly natural to end up in that situation. Of course, once that happens, it's time to move out.
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Both of which are good points, and essentially the two sides of my dilemma here in a nut shell.

On the one hand, rationally speaking, it's probably best for me to remain single for the time being. I just don't really have the resources to support a relationship, and messing around pre-maturely might actually prevent me from acquiring them. That's exactly why I've made a point of remaining unattached thus far.

On the other hand... Boobs.

Just kidding. :lol:

Seriously though, you really never know when someone potentially compatible might come into your life again. It's probably not a great idea to simply brush them off out of hand.

As I said in the OP, I think the best solution is probably just to take things slow, and let them develop organically. If I find I'm not interested, I'll put a stop to it.

Hell! With any luck, I'll hopefully be in school by April (assuming my clearance finally goes through and I don't have to push it back again), and the financial side of things will be a moot point.
 
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Gathomas88 said:
Both of which are good points, and essentially the two sides of my dilemma here in a nut shell.

On the one hand, rationally speaking, it's probably best for me to remain single for the time being. I just don't really have the resources to support a relationship, and messing around pre-maturely might actually prevent me from acquiring them. That's exactly why I've made a point of remaining unattached thus far.

On the other hand... Boobs.

Just kidding. :lol:

Seriously though, you really never know when someone potentially compatible might come into your life again. It's probably not a great idea to simply brush them off out of hand.

As I said in the OP, I think the best solution is probably just to take things slow, and let them develop organically. If I find I'm not interested, I'll put a stop to it.

Hell! With any luck, I'll hopefully be in school by April (assuming my clearance finally goes through and I don't have to push it back again), and the financial side of things will be a moot point.
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IMO, the goal for anyone in their twenties still living at home should be to get their life on track to financial independence. Everything else is a distraction...and potentially quite derailing.
 
calamity said:
IMO, the goal for anyone in their twenties still living at home should be to get their life on track to financial independence. Everything else is a distraction...and potentially quite derailing.
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Living at home to go to school or save up money isn't all that bad.

It's certainly preferable to be independent, but, this day and age, it's simply unrealistic for some.

I had to eat peanut butter bread to make rent and tuition, living on my own and working to pay for college. I wouldn't wish that burden on anyone.
 
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