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Single As F**** [W:67]

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Absentglare said:
Living at home to go to school or save up money isn't all that bad.

It's certainly preferable to be independent, but, this day and age, it's simply unrealistic for some.

I had to eat peanut butter bread to make rent and tuition, living on my own and working to pay for college. I wouldn't wish that burden on anyone.
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I tried...found it nearly impossible and saw it would take ten years to get my degree while working full time and attending school part time. So, I moved back home at age-23 to finish my degree.

I studied engineering too, which I believe was doubly difficult because it required at least 40 hours of homework for every 15 credit hours. So, work was totally out of the question.
 
Absentglare said:
Living at home to go to school or save up money isn't all that bad.

It's certainly preferable to be independent, but, this day and age, it's simply unrealistic for some.

I had to eat peanut butter bread to make rent and tuition, living on my own and working to pay for college. I wouldn't wish that burden on anyone.
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Everyone should experience this... it builds character. I'm serious. It also heightens the sense of accomplishment and makes one appreciate where they've come from and where they've gone more.
 
calamity said:
I tried...found it nearly impossible and saw it would take ten years to get my degree while working full time and attending school part time. So, I moved back home at age-23 to finish my degree.

I studied engineering too, which I believe was doubly difficult because it required at least 40 hours of homework for every 15 credit hours. So, work was totally out of the question.
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With the cost of college it makes no sense to drag it out, get in, get out. I don't think a young person can make enough working through college to pay for the additional cost of that 5th or more years, doubly so when factoring in the extra years out of the workforce for a better paying job.
 
Gathomas88 said:
*Different girl than the other thread*

Sooo... I may or may not be on the fast track to a relationship here. I guess we'll see. She definitely seems to want one (she's been flirting pretty aggressively for a while now, and we spent most of last night making out), and she's made it rather clear that she is not the sort of person who makes a move carelessly (claims to have never had a one night stand, or any sort of casual sex). I'm going to play this by ear and see how it goes.

As to the how? Well, integrating into a new, mixed gender, social group that's actually introducing me to nice people, rather than hurling me at floosies just to laugh when I fall flat on my face (or just blindly hoping to blunder into one going it on my own), certainly helped. Meeting a girl who I find attractive, and who seems to have mistaken my generally standoffish cluelessness when it comes to dating etiquette for some sort of "mysterious enigmaticism" which she, apparently, finds appealing, helped as well. She also thinks I'm "adorable," for what that's worth. :lol:

The problem? I'm pretty much "single as f***." lol

Don't get me wrong. I'm totally okay with being in a relationship. It's just been a loooooong time since I've really been with anybody. I'm not even really sure if I know how to do it anymore.

I've gotten pretty used to being a "free agent," not having to answer to or plan around anyone else. I'll pretty commonly go more than a week before checking in with friends, for example, and that's obviously not really going to cut it with most women. Changing that's going to take some getting used to (assuming this actually turns out like it looks, of course).

The other issue? The various reasons why I didn't want to date right now really haven't gone away. Thankfully, we both live at home (she moved back in after her last relationship went south), so she can't really take issue with that. However, I'm still pretty much broke, which complicates things as far as trying to hang out on the regular goes. I just can't afford it. Living arrangements, of course, are going to make it awkward and difficult to hang out, or be in any sense intimate, on the cheap as well.

Eh. "You only live once," I suppose. I'll give it a go and see what happens. :shrug:
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Tick tock, Greg. If I am not mistaken (and granted, I haven't checked), you are getting dangerously close to that 6-month window of inaction at which you told me to start kicking your ass.

You think I forgot? :twisted:

So, what's your choice? Is this cool for now, something you believe in, or do you want to move out? Either is justifiable if you own it and are sincere about making it work for you and not simply be something you allow yourself to wallow in. Neither means you "have" to be single, or involved, or whatever.

Aaanyway, good for you. As far as being "single as ****," I sympathize greatly, as an introvert who tends to value my cave and has had to re-adjust after taking a hiatus from dating.

Don't think of it as "answering to" anyone. If you two are compatible and honest, you will largely agree on how you want to do things, which will be based on what you actually want, rather than what you think you should want. That alone will make life much easier. If you find yourself feeling you are "answering to" someone rather than "making choices WITH someone," then there as a problem.

Push yourself... slowly. Getting used to working with people is sort of a process, which will begin with perfectly reasonable things seeming very unreasonable. But seeing some kind of fruit of your labor, and remembering to try to look at things from their perspective, will help. Along with all the hormones and infatuation of the early months of a relationship, which I find quite stress-inducing, but most people seem to enjoy.

How do you do it? Some combination of talking and listening, and then doing the stuff you talked about, and if necessary, talking about it some more if something goes wrong or feels weird. Sounds unhelpful, but that's really what it is.
 
Gathomas88 said:
Oh, I agree. I'd love to move out. I was planning to do it four years ago when I first got back from overseas.

Thank God I was smart enough to wait and see if I was able to get a job before committing to it, or I would have been completely screwed. Lol

The problem is that I only make like $1500 a month in a city where rent averages like $700 to $900 a month. It's just not workable right now, at least not solo.
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After tax? That's doable. I've done it. I even had a sickly cat and an overly expensive phone plan at the time. Hell, try a studio -- you could get one below that. Or move in with your brother, like you said.

Tick tock, Greg. ;)
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
Tick tock, Greg. If I am not mistaken (and granted, I haven't checked), you are getting dangerously close to that 6-month window of inaction at which you told me to start kicking your ass.

You think I forgot? :twisted:

So, what's your choice? Is this cool for now, something you believe in, or do you want to move out? Either is justifiable if you own it and are sincere about making it work for you and not simply be something you allow yourself to wallow in. Neither means you "have" to be single, or involved, or whatever.

Aaanyway, good for you. As far as being "single as ****," I sympathize greatly, as an introvert who tends to value my cave and has had to re-adjust after taking a hiatus from dating.

Don't think of it as "answering to" anyone. If you two are compatible and honest, you will largely agree on how you want to do things, which will be based on what you actually want, rather than what you think you should want. That alone will make life much easier. If you find yourself feeling you are "answering to" someone rather than "making choices WITH someone," then there as a problem.

Push yourself... slowly. Getting used to working with people is sort of a process, which will begin with perfectly reasonable things seeming very unreasonable. But seeing some kind of fruit of your labor, and remembering to try to look at things from their perspective, will help. Along with all the hormones and infatuation of the early months of a relationship, which I find quite stress-inducing, but most people seem to enjoy.

How do you do it? Some combination of talking and listening, and then doing the stuff you talked about, and if necessary, talking about it some more if something goes wrong or feels weird. Sounds unhelpful, but that's really what it is.
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LOL

Thanks for the encouragement! No, I haven't forgotten. :mrgreen:

Yeah... At the moment, I'm leaning towards "good enough for right now," but I'm definitely going to see how this plays out. I've already got plans to see her next week (and actually tried to set something up for V-day, though conflicting schedules got in the way - I work late, she works early).

Either way, we're still running in the same social circles here. We'll hardly be strangers whatever happens.

Just wait and see how things play out, I guess. :shrug:

Trying to find the right balance with this kind of thing is what I find difficult. Play it too causal, and she'll think you're not interested (which, apparently, just made this particular girl more interested, so... Score for me, I guess lol). Come on too strong, and you risk scaring her off.

Ultimately, you're right, however. The lion's share of this comes down to simple compatibility at the end of the day. Things either click or they don't.

SmokeAndMirrors said:
After tax? That's doable. I've done it. I even had a sickly cat and an overly expensive phone plan at the time. Hell, try a studio -- you could get one below that. Or move in with your brother, like you said.

Tick tock, Greg. ;)
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Eeeehhh... It'd be cutting it kind of close, that's for damn sure. Lol

I already pay like $400 a month in bills between my car, my insurance, and my phone. I spend a couple of hundred more on gas, lunch on the job, and etca. I'm not even really sure what utilities cost around here either. I'm going to need a roomie, at the very least, before I risk it.

You're right. There is my brother.

The only issue there is that he's kind of a giant doof who sucks with money, so I'm not sure if I trust him. Ever seen the movie "Due Date?" Yeah... He's basically Zack Galifianakis. :lamo

He actually makes a little bit more than I do. Yet, where I start breaking out in hives if my account falls under a thousand, he never seems to even have enough money to buy a damn fast food burger. Lol

I might revisit that after I see how I do on my tax return this year, however. I actually lucked out last year, and managed to net a pretty decent one, along with more than a couple extra training missions with the Army that had me sitting pretty all summer. Unfortunately, I had a car and computer repair, as well as a phone replacement, come up late last year, so things are kind of rough again at the moment.
 
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Gathomas88 said:
LOL

Thanks for the encouragement! No, I haven't forgotten. :mrgreen:

Yeah... At the moment, I'm leaning towards "good enough for right now," but I'm definitely going to see how this plays out. I've already got plans to see her next week (and actually tried to set something up for V-day, though conflicting schedules got in the way - I work late, she works early).

Either way, we're still running in the same social circles here. We'll hardly be strangers whatever happens.

Just wait and see how things play out, I guess. :shrug:

Trying to find the right balance with this kind of thing is what I find difficult. Play it too causal, and she'll think you're not interested (which, apparently, just made this particular girl more interested, so... Score for me, I guess lol). Come on too strong, and you risk scaring her off.

Ultimately, you're right, however. The lion's share of this comes down to simple compatibility at the end of the day. Things either click or they don't.
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Alrighty then. I checked. You've got a couple months... ;)

Don't play anything. I'm serious. All that **** you think would be really uncouth to say? Yeah, say that.

Swear, I'm not trying to have you on. People dig honesty more than you think. Chicks dig feeling like you're intimately sharing with them.

Eeeehhh... It'd be cutting it kind of close, that's for damn sure. Lol

I already pay like $400 a month in bills between my car, my insurance, and my phone. I spend a couple of hundred more on gas, lunch on the job, and etca. I'm not even really sure what utilities cost around here either. I'm going to need a roomie, at the very least, before I risk it.

You're right. There is my brother.

The only issue there is that he's kind of a giant doof who sucks with money, so I'm not sure if I trust him. Ever seen the movie "Due Date?" Yeah... He's basically Zack Galifianakis. :lamo

He actually makes a little bit more than I do. Yet, where I start breaking out in hives if my account falls under a thousand, he never seems to even have enough money to buy a damn fast food burger. Lol

I might revisit that after I see how I do on my tax return this year, however. I actually lucked out last year, and managed to net a pretty decent one, with more than a couple extra training missions with the Army that had me sitting pretty all summer. Unfortunately, I had a car and computer repair, as well as a phone replacement, come up late last year, so things are kind of rough again at the moment.
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Solution: move close to work, or on a decent transit link, and cut the car. I did it for years, yes, even in smaller cities that tend to have pretty mediocre transit. I am guessing it is likely you have a contract for your phone. Get rid of it. Get a cheap unlocked Android, and go for a month-to-month third party carrier, like Virgin. Combining these two, you will probably be able to do it reasonably comfortably, by yourself.

Or, yes, get a roommate.

Re: your brother.

Solution: He immediately gives you his half of expenses the second his check clears. Everything else is his problem. I've done that before with roommates who suck at money.

I'm full of solutions! :D
 
Winchester said:
With the cost of college it makes no sense to drag it out, get in, get out. I don't think a young person can make enough working through college to pay for the additional cost of that 5th or more years, doubly so when factoring in the extra years out of the workforce for a better paying job.
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Tell me about it. It took every bit of 5 years to get a two-year degree when working full time and going to school at night. And, it sucked. I had two realistic choices. Live with the 2-year and focus on the career from there. Or, step away from the job, move back home and finish school in two hard fought years.

I chose B. Best decision I ever made.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
Alrighty then. I checked. You've got a couple months... ;)

Don't play anything. I'm serious. All that **** you think would be really uncouth to say? Yeah, say that.

Swear, I'm not trying to have you on. People dig honesty more than you think. Chicks dig feeling like you're intimately sharing with them.



Solution: move close to work, or on a decent transit link, and cut the car. I did it for years, yes, even in smaller cities that tend to have pretty mediocre transit. I am guessing it is likely you have a contract for your phone. Get rid of it. Get a cheap unlocked Android, and go for a month-to-month third party carrier, like Virgin. Combining these two, you will probably be able to do it reasonably comfortably, by yourself.

Or, yes, get a roommate.

Re: your brother.

Solution: He immediately gives you his half of expenses the second his check clears. Everything else is his problem. I've done that before with roommates who suck at money.

I'm full of solutions! :D
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Lol. I can tell! [emoji38]

Yeah. Can't do away with the car, unfortunately, because the Army pretty commonly has me driving out of state. However, I like the paycheck idea. That'll be one to keep in mind if I do go ahead and move out with my brother.

As far as the girl goes, I guess I'll just stick with "being myself." Seems to be working so far. :shrug:
 
Gathomas88 said:
Ummm... Yes, actually. Lol

You're certainly the type.



Again, stop posting in my thread. All you're doing is throwing around personal insults because you're holding a petty and immature personal grudge.

I mean... Seriously. Your entire spiel here basically amounts to "Never have a relationship, because you're too screwed up for one."

Even if you were being serious rather than simply hateful, what the Hell kind of advice would that be?
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well if it spares you from the heartbreak that comes with trying and failing...

this thread is only slightly less sad than the "i'm in love with my sister and have man boobs" thread
 
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Gathomas88 said:
*Different girl than the other thread*

Sooo... I may or may not be on the fast track to a relationship here. I guess we'll see. She definitely seems to want one (she's been flirting pretty aggressively for a while now, and we spent most of last night making out), and she's made it rather clear that she is not the sort of person who makes a move carelessly (claims to have never had a one night stand, or any sort of casual sex). I'm going to play this by ear and see how it goes.

As to the how? Well, integrating into a new, mixed gender, social group that's actually introducing me to nice people, rather than hurling me at floosies just to laugh when I fall flat on my face (or just blindly hoping to blunder into one going it on my own), certainly helped. Meeting a girl who I find attractive, and who seems to have mistaken my generally standoffish cluelessness when it comes to dating etiquette for some sort of "mysterious enigmaticism" which she, apparently, finds appealing, helped as well. She also thinks I'm "adorable," for what that's worth. :lol:

The problem? I'm pretty much "single as f***." lol

Don't get me wrong. I'm totally okay with being in a relationship. It's just been a loooooong time since I've really been with anybody. I'm not even really sure if I know how to do it anymore.

I've gotten pretty used to being a "free agent," not having to answer to or plan around anyone else. I'll pretty commonly go more than a week before checking in with friends, for example, and that's obviously not really going to cut it with most women. Changing that's going to take some getting used to (assuming this actually turns out like it looks, of course).

The other issue? The various reasons why I didn't want to date right now really haven't gone away. Thankfully, we both live at home (she moved back in after her last relationship went south), so she can't really take issue with that. However, I'm still pretty much broke, which complicates things as far as trying to hang out on the regular goes. I just can't afford it. Living arrangements, of course, are going to make it awkward and difficult to hang out, or be in any sense intimate, on the cheap as well.

Eh. "You only live once," I suppose. I'll give it a go and see what happens. :shrug:
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Clear and open communication is always key. No games. Just be straight up.


If she's really into you, an evening on the couch watching Netflix and munching Little Caesar's will be a pleasant evening. :)
 
chromium said:
well if it spares you from the heartbreak that comes with trying and failing...

this thread is only slightly less sad than the "i'm in love with my sister and have man boobs" thread
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Half-jokingly acknowledging the change in mindset that goes along with a relationship after being single for an extended period of time, as well as the very real complications raised by trying to date when in a rough financial situation is "sad," and akin to admitting sexual attraction to one's sister in addition to extreme physical unattractiveness?

Ummm... Why, exactly? :screwy:

I think certain people simply need to lighten up, drop the petty personal grudges they're so clearly holding, and try behaving with some of the "humanity" they so often accuse me of lacking. Lol
 
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Goshin said:
Clear and open communication is always key. No games. Just be straight up.


If she's really into you, an evening on the couch watching Netflix and munching Little Caesar's will be a pleasant evening. :)
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Yep. Everyone needs a friend, and friends of the opposite sex are the best, IMO. Even when I was deep in my studies and broke constantly, I always had a couple close friends to do just that: someone with which to watch a movie, have a cup of coffee, study at the library, and even spend time with on a holiday like Christmas or New Years.
 
Gathomas88 said:
Half-jokingly acknowledging the change in mindset that goes along with a relationship after being single for an extended period of time, as well as the very real complications raised by trying to date when in a rough financial situation is "sad," and akin to admitting sexual attraction to one's sister in addition to extreme physical unattractiveness?

Ummm... Why, exactly? :screwy:

I think certain people simply need to lighten up, drop the petty personal grudges they're so clearly holding, and try behaving with some of the "humanity" they so often accuse me of lacking. Lol
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your post should have been written by a 17 year old, that's why it's sad

also, would sister love and extreme unattractiveness somehow make your situation worse? Doesn't sound like it. I wouldn't even try to make a relationship work if i'm living with parents and broke. It's almost certainly going to fail and no, "YOLO" attitude now won't spare you when it does. Fix those other problems first - sincere advice, not grudge
 
chromium said:
your post should have been written by a 17 year old, that's why it's sad

also, would sister love and extreme unattractiveness somehow make your situation worse? Doesn't sound like it. I wouldn't even try to make a relationship work if i'm living with parents and broke. It's almost certainly going to fail and no, "YOLO" attitude now won't spare you when it does. Fix those other problems first - sincere advice, not grudge
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Of course! Because 17 year olds commonly weigh the pros and cons of fiscal responsibility and emotional availability vis-à-vis the hormonal rush of new relationships. There's also never been a single successful relationship born out of adverse circumstances, and the world is absolutely going to end simply if someone is open to the possibility of one. Am-i-rite?

Not. :roll:

Look. If your intention here was to give "advice," you wouldn't be going deliberately out of your way to steep everything you're saying in (completely inappropriate, I might add) insults. Stop playing games. You're not fooling anyone.

All I know is that a lot of people here seem to be seriously struggling with concept of "upstairs." They also seem to have never learned the old adage of "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all."

*sigh*

If nothing else, I certainly can't say that I'm not glad to see so many of my various enemies show their true (and rather unappealing) colors, or their general lack of candor and discretion. Lol

(Also worth noting that half of the same people showing their rear ends in this thread have also made a point of similarly attacking me in the past for being single. The fact that they're now attacking me for actually being on the verge of a relationship - and wanting to share that information in a generally lighthearted manner with a number of people I've known for years - simply goes to show the petty and malicious hypocrisy inherent to their whole mindset.)

I guess this is just what happens when you give someone "enough rope." :D
 
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Gathomas88 said:
Of course! Because 17 year olds commonly weigh the pros and cons of fiscal responsibility and emotional availability vis-à-vis the rush of new relationships. There's also never been a single successful relationship born out of adverse circumstances, and the world is absolutely going to end simply if someone is open to the possibility og one. Am-i-rite?

Not. :roll:

Look. If your intention here was to give advice, you wouldn't be going deliberately out of your way to steep everything you're saying in (completely inappropriate, I might add) insults. Stop playing games. You're not fooling anyone.

All I know is that a lot of people here seem to be seriously struggling with concept of "upstairs." They also seem to have never learned the old adage of "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all."

*sigh*

I certainly can't say I'm not glad to see so many of my various enemies show their true (and rather unappealing) colors, however, or their general lack of candor and discretion. Lol

Simply goes to show what happens when you give someone "just enough rope," I suppose. :D
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Sharks smelling blood circling in the chummed waters. The cheap shots are simply those with short arms picking the low hanging fruit.

IMO, your honesty and self-reflection should be commended, not attacked. But...some people can't help themselves and use it as an opportunity to extract some revenge for perceived past wrongs.
 
calamity said:
Sharks smelling blood circling in the chummed waters. The cheap shots are simply those with short arms picking the low hanging fruit.

IMO, your honesty and self-reflection should be commended, not attacked. But...some people can't help themselves and use it as an opportunity to extract some revenge for perceived past wrongs.
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Oh, I know. Thanks for saying so all the same, however.

I just can't even really begin to fathom how they can think this is acceptable behavior. Lol

I mean... I know I've got a bit of a "fan club." But to be this openly nasty and combative, upstairs, in such a completely innocuous thread?

What the Hell? It's just beyond the pale!

"Sour grapes," I guess. :shrug:
 
Gathomas88 said:
Of course! Because 17 year olds commonly weigh the pros and cons of fiscal responsibility and emotional availability vis-à-vis the hormonal rush of new relationships. There's also never been a single successful relationship born out of adverse circumstances, and the world is absolutely going to end simply if someone is open to the possibility of one. Am-i-rite?

Not. :roll:

Look. If your intention here was to give "advice," you wouldn't be going deliberately out of your way to steep everything you're saying in (completely inappropriate, I might add) insults. Stop playing games. You're not fooling anyone.

All I know is that a lot of people here seem to be seriously struggling with concept of "upstairs." They also seem to have never learned the old adage of "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all."

*sigh*

If nothing else, I certainly can't say that I'm not glad to see so many of my various enemies show their true (and rather unappealing) colors, or their general lack of candor and discretion. Lol

(Also worth noting that half of the same people showing their rear ends in this thread have also made a point of similarly attacking me in the past for being single. The fact that they're now attacking me for actually being on the verge of a relationship - and wanting to share that information in a generally lighthearted manner with a number of people I've known for years - simply goes to show the petty and malicious hypocrisy inherent to their whole mindset.)

I guess this is just what happens when you give someone "enough rope." :D
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So i take it from this you're helpless to fix those problems, which is also sad. At least there's hope for the sister lover i guess. You didn't make that clear though so don't even try to blame me.

But just for the sake of argument, i try to treat people as they deserve, so you don't get to whine about that either if you do think we're being judgmental
 
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