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When The Physical Spark Just Isn't Really There

Gathomas88 said:
However, terrible as it sounds, I kind of want to invite the girl I am hanging out with to the gym for a couple of months and see if something more like her sister develops out of it. lol
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And I thought trying to change a romantic interest was something that girls do.
 
sangha said:
And I thought trying to change a romantic interest was something that girls do.
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Not exclusively. :lol:

Gathomas88 said:
For the record, however, I actually did know a guy, at one point, who would do that (take women to the gym). He called it the "Build a Ho Workshop" technique. That's why the idea came to mind to begin with. :lamo
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celticwar17 said:
what makes it creepy? And looking at the rules, he violated none of them...
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Right?

I mean... Yeah. This thread is probably a bit more "locker room talk" oriented than most. However, it's not like these aren't thoughts that plenty of other people have had before (if they're being honest with themselves, at least).

Just the age old divide between being honest vs being socially delicate, I suppose. :roll:
 
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Gathomas88 said:
Right?

I mean... Yeah. This thread is probably a bit more "locker room talk" oriented than most. However, it's not like these aren't thoughts that plenty of other people have had before (if they're being honest with themselves, at least).

Just the age old divide between being honest vs being socially delicate, I suppose. :roll:
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Women give us the best in life, big butt to no butt life would totally suck without them. You are a shallow individual, if you find your dream girl, she is going to fart in bed. They get fat, they poop. they are human, they are the best thing that has happened to man. Women are beautiful. I wouldn't think twice about catching a bullet for my bride of 27 years, big butt, farts and all. Get over your vanity.
If you were the trophy catch that you think you are, you wouldn't be posting about this now would you?
 
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Bootlace said:
Women give us the best in life, big butt to no butt life would totally suck without them. You are a shallow individual, if you find your dream girl, she is going to fart in bed. They get fat, they poop. they are human, they are the best thing that has happened to man. Women are beautiful. I wouldn't think twice about catching a bullet for my bride of 27 years, big butt, farts and all. Get over your vanity.
If you were the trophy catch that you think you are, you wouldn't be posting about this now would you?
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I'm sorry, but you are reading entirely way too much into this, dude. Physical compatibility, like it or not, is a real thing. It is important to a successful relationship. That is true of men and women alike, and necessarily demeaning to neither.

Simply speaking, we do not have sex with that which we are not attracted.

Granted, this is a bigger deal for some people than others. However, it's nothing to be ashamed of in any eventuality. That's simply how some people's sex drive works.

As I said in the OP, I like this girl just fine. I'm simply not sure if I LIKE like her. The physical side of things does, unfortunately and unavoidably, play a role in this, but there's nothing wrong with that. :shrug:
 
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Gathomas88 said:
I'm sorry, but you are reading entirely way too much into this, dude. Physical compatibility, like it or not, is a real thing. It is important to a successful relationship. That is true of men and women alike, and necessarily demeaning to neither.

Simply speaking, we do not have sex with that which we are not attracted.
I haven't read any more than you have posted

Granted, this is a bigger deal for some people than others. However, it's nothing to be ashamed of in any eventuality. That's simply how some people's sex drive works.

As I said in the OP, I like this girl just fine. I'm simply not sure if I LIKE like her. The physical side of things does, unfortunately and unavoidably, play a role in this, but there's nothing wrong with that. :shrug:
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I haven't read anymore than you posted.
If you were the beefcake you think you are, you wouldn't need your friends trying to set you up.
 
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Bootlace said:
I haven't read anymore than you posted.
If you were the beefcake you think you are, you wouldn't need your friends trying to set you up.
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Did I ever claim to be a "beefcake?" :roll:

In any eventuality, the heart might very well "want what it wants," but so too do the genitalia. Goofy romantic platitudes aren't going to change that.
 
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Gathomas88 said:
Did I ever claim to be a beefcake? :roll:

In any eventuality, the heart might very well "want what it wants," but so too do the genitalia. Goofy romantic platitudes aren't going to change that.
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Humility is painful, you're a conservative, you should know this. The pain tells you that you don't have it.
She has a bug butt, so what. Survey your faults, she is only humans FFS.
 
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Gathomas88 said:
Don't get me wrong. We're actually remarkably compatible in terms of personality and background - She's an intelligent, and good humored, Italian-American Catholic and native Floridian (like your's truly), from a fairly Conservative family. She's also reasonably cute in the face. She just doesn't really take much care of her body, so I don't find her to be "attractive" per se. There's no real "oompf" there, in other words.
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Bootlace said:
Humility is painful, you're a conservative, you should know this. The pain tells you that you don't have it.
She has a bug butt, so what. Survey your faults, she is only humans FFS.
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This doesn't have crap to do with "humility," dude. I'll plainly admit that the girl I pictured is probably out of my league, at least in my present circumstances. That's exactly why I don't really date. Getting the kind of women I want requires a certain status and stability which I just don't have at the moment.

However, that's not what we're talking about right now. Right now, we're talking about simple reality.

I'm not sure, exactly, how it is that you seem to be so oblivious to this, but tons of relationships and marriages fall apart because one or the other partner lets themselves go, and the sexual spark between the two subsequently withers away and dies. Given that fact, what the Hell kind of sense would it make to try and get into a relationship with someone I'm not really that crazy about from the very start?

Physical compatibility is not some trivial thing which can simply be ignored. It's the very rare person who can overlook it. Frankly, more often than not, those who try to downplay its importance are simply lying in the interests of saying things which they think sound noble and pretty, but which they are equally well aware ultimately ring hollow.

As I said in the OP, I'm open to the possibility of that changing. I sincerely like this girl's personality, and maybe that will be enough in the long run. At the moment, however, I don't think it'd be fair to either of us to try and take this any further than the friendship it already is. I'm "just not that into" her.
 
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Gathomas88 said:
As I said in the OP, I like this girl just fine. I'm simply not sure if I LIKE like her. The physical side of things does, unfortunately and unavoidably, play a role in this, but there's nothing wrong with that. :shrug:
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LOL how shallow :lol:

Reading your OP it seems that youre not really interested in her despite only seeing her for a month and now youve moved your attention to her sister. To me it signifies that either you need to give it more time (since its only been a month) or you were never interested in her to begin with. In which case you either: a) need to re-examine your viewpoints and make changes or b) find someone else.

I have the same weakness, I tend to judge women I meet by how attractive they are but you have to remember that looks dont last forever, if that is all youre looking for then expect to be disappointed in the long run because both men and women lose that in the years to come. ;)
 
PoS said:
LOL how shallow :lol:

Reading your OP it seems that youre not really interested in her despite only seeing her for a month and now youve moved your attention to her sister. To me it signifies that either you need to give it more time (since its only been a month) or you were never interested in her to begin with. In which case you either: a) need to re-examine your viewpoints and make changes or b) find someone else.

I have the same weakness, I tend to judge women I meet by how attractive they are but you have to remember that looks dont last forever, if that is all youre looking for then expect to be disappointed in the long run because both men and women lose that in the years to come. ;)
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Well, like I said, I'm not really "interested" in the sister, per se. I don't know her, she lives out of state, and she's got a boyfriend (and maybe even a fiance) that I couldn't touch with a ten foot pole anyway.

I just think that she's objectively freaking gorgeous in a way which this girl just... Well, kind of isn't. That's a cruel twist of fate, because it seems that I have basically everything in common with the girl I do know except for attraction to her physicality.

Apart from that, however, I basically agree with your analysis. I really don't think I'm all that interested in his girl. Don't get me wrong. I've gradually warmed to her a bit - from "Are you guys freaking kidding? No way in Hell!" to "Eeehhh... Maybe? She seems really nice" - in getting to know her. Maybe that'll develop further over time.

At the moment, however, I think it's best to stay "just friends" because I really don't think the lack of physical attraction is something I can necessarily overcome right now.
 
Gathomas88 said:
This doesn't have crap to do with "humility," dude. I'll plainly admit that the girl I pictured is probably out of my league, at least in my present circumstances. That's exactly why I don't really date. Getting the kind of women I want requires a certain status and stability which I just don't have at the moment.

However, that's not what we're talking about right now. Right now, we're talking about simple reality.

I'm not sure, exactly, how it is that you seem to be so oblivious to this, but tons of relationships and marriages fall apart because one or the other partner lets themselves go, and the sexual spark between the two subsequently withers away and dies. Given that fact, what the Hell kind of sense would it make to try and get into a relationship with someone I'm not really that crazy about from the very start?

Physical compatibility is not some trivial thing which can simply be ignored. It's the very rare person who can overlook it. Frankly, more often than not, those who try to downplay its importance are simply lying in the interests of saying things which they think sound noble and pretty, but which they are equally well aware ultimately ring hollow.

As I said in the OP, I'm open to the possibility of that changing. I sincerely like this girl's personality, and maybe that will be enough in the long run. At the moment, however, I don't think it'd be fair to either of us to try and take this any further than the friendship it already is. I'm "just not that into" her.
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Ok. My two cents. I'm going to try to actually be helpful, here.

Yes, attraction is important. But you know what?

The longer you're with someone, the less that will have anything to do with how they look.

I've totally had "Holy DAMN!" levels of compatibility with guys who were, objectively, not as attractive as me. Perhaps even pretty mediocre.

Do I see that physical gap the first time I meet them? Maybe even the second or third? Yeah, I do.

But if that chemistry is there, and I make an honest attempt to be open to it, I stop seeing it very quickly.

Sexual compatibility is not all, or even mostly, about looks. It's about presence, actions... things that have nothing to do with how they look. I've had terrible sexual chemistry with guys who look like male models. And as soon as that came to light, how they looked stopped having any meaning at all.

The "letting themselves go" thing is more than just about looks. I've been turned off by that as well, and it's destroyed my sexual desire for someone. It wasn't about the change in how they looked. Even post-"letting go," I've had great attraction to people who were less physically attractive.

It was that it seemed to be a cycle he got into every time he settled into a relationship. Sort of like, "I've got you now, so **** it." It displayed a pretty sad attitude towards his own health, but also towards our relationship. That's depressing. And a little insulting.

But what's depressing and insulting about it is not about looks.

Sex is really not about looks. Not great sex, anyway. Great sex, in a way, is much more like artistic compatibility than physicality.

You need to be open to the possibility that someone who's not a 10, or even an 8, might totally rock your world. Because they totally could. Really great sexual compatibility is a damn shame to miss out on in a relationship. It's not about getting your rocks off.

And it doesn't always hit you from "the very start." People's sexual gravitas is something that they mostly keep under wraps until it's appropriate. You don't see it right away.

If you like her enough to make this post, I think you should spend a bit of one-on-one time with her. If you don't like her even after that, just say thanks but no thanks. She'll live. So will you.

But stop believing relationships are RomComs where the attraction just hits you out of the blue the moment you lock eyes. It doesn't always.

I've even had it be the case where my brain said "no" to someone immediately, but my intuition was screaming to keep looking. My conscious brain just wasn't seeing it -- sexually, interpersonally, in any way. But I decided to go with my intuition. It's rarely wrong, and over the years, I've come to trust it even when I'm incredulous.

And that wound up being one of the best, strongest, most multifaceted connections I've ever had. It took 3 weeks of regular communication to come out. I had to work hard just to make conversation flow for those 3 weeks. But when it hit me, it hit my like a sack of bricks, and I'm so glad I didn't miss out.

Maybe the fact that you feel moved to say so many words on the issue is your intuition trying to tell you something.

Or maybe not. But it's silly not to look just because she's not a 10.
 
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I agree with SmokeandMirrors

Sexual turn on can be there from the get go. But if after six months she doesn't mentally stimulate you and if you don't feel emotionally comfortable with her to open up and be yourself and feel completely accepted, that sexual turn on will be gone, it will vanish and I believe many marriages end precisely because of this. They were so hot for each other that they could barely get home and the clothes come off and you never make it down the hall.

That's all nice and steamy until some life reality hits you, you aren't in the mood for sex and they are suddenly super attracted to someone else because there was nothing there to begin with but physical attraction.

I believe initial physical attraction is merely natures way of keeping mankind reproducing. If you are hot for someone and you paired you likely will make lovely babies together. Other than that, it mean nada. And it wears off.

Now if you can get over yourself for a bit and actually get to know this other person she may be the one there for you when others would have walked.

And in the "walk of life" that is what will keep you going and get you through this life's journey with a "partner" not an arm candy display.
 
_Sal said:
I agree with SmokeandMirrors Sexual turn on can be there from the get go. But if after six months she doesn't mentally stimulate you and if you don't feel emotionally comfortable with her to open up and be yourself and feel completely accepted, that sexual turn on will be gone, it will vanish and I believe many marriages end precisely because of this. They were so hot for each other that they could barely get home and the clothes come off and you never make it down the hall. That's all nice and steamy until some life reality hits you, you aren't in the mood for sex and they are suddenly super attracted to someone else because there was nothing there to begin with but physical attraction. I believe initial physical attraction is merely natures way of keeping mankind reproducing. If you are hot for someone and you paired you likely will make lovely babies together. Other than that, it mean nada. And it wears off. Now if you can get over yourself for a bit and actually get to know this other person she may be the one there for you when others would have walked. And in the "walk of life" that is what will keep you going and get you through this life's journey with a "partner" not an arm candy display.
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This. The best sexual connections are the ones where you don't even have to have sex all the time. Laying there in a heap is sometimes the order of the day. And how that feels is both more important than and completely unrelated to looks.

It took me a long time to realize it, because such a connection is so incredibly rare, but I have found that the best sign for sexual compatibility in an early relationship is that we *don't* just want to **** 24/7. When it happens, it's magical, so it's worth taking time with -- talking, learning the landscape, etc. That will reduce the sheer number of times you have sex, but it'll be so much better when you do.

There's tons of people who are just lots of fun to ****. That's not special at all.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
Ok. My two cents. I'm going to try to actually be helpful, here.

Yes, attraction is important. But you know what?

The longer you're with someone, the less that will have anything to do with how they look.

I've totally had "Holy DAMN!" levels of compatibility with guys who were, objectively, not as attractive as me. Perhaps even pretty mediocre.

Do I see that physical gap the first time I meet them? Maybe even the second or third? Yeah, I do.

But if that chemistry is there, and I make an honest attempt to be open to it, I stop seeing it very quickly.

Sexual compatibility is not all, or even mostly, about looks. It's about presence, actions... things that have nothing to do with how they look. I've had terrible sexual chemistry with guys who look like male models. And as soon as that came to light, how they looked stopped having any meaning at all.

The "letting themselves go" thing is more than just about looks. I've been turned off by that as well, and it's destroyed my sexual desire for someone. It wasn't about the change in how they looked. Even post-"letting go," I've had great attraction to people who were less physically attractive.

It was that it seemed to be a cycle he got into every time he settled into a relationship. Sort of like, "I've got you now, so **** it." It displayed a pretty sad attitude towards his own health, but also towards our relationship. That's depressing. And a little insulting.

But what's depressing and insulting about it is not about looks.

Sex is really not about looks. Not great sex, anyway. Great sex, in a way, is much more like artistic compatibility than physicality.

You need to be open to the possibility that someone who's not a 10, or even an 8, might totally rock your world. Because they totally could. Really great sexual compatibility is a damn shame to miss out on in a relationship. It's not about getting your rocks off.

And it doesn't always hit you from "the very start." People's sexual gravitas is something that they mostly keep under wraps until it's appropriate. You don't see it right away.

...Snip length...

Maybe the fact that you feel moved to say so many words on the issue is your intuition trying to tell you something.

Or maybe not. But it's silly not to look just because she's not a 10.
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_Sal said:
I agree with SmokeandMirrors

Snip due to character limit
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Well, in fairness, I'm not just looking for a pretty face or a great body here. A hot, but ultimately dumb, girl would bore me to tears. A bad personality would, likewise, simply be repulsive.

I want the "whole package." Not a "10," per se, but attractive enough, in all regards, that I would want to both spend time with the person in question, as well as jump their bones. Lol

"Making lovely babies" actually is something I'm interested in pursuing in my future, so that's something to take into consideration as well.

Maybe this is just too much to ask for the typical "average joe," and he simply got incredibly lucky, but that's basically what my father found back in the day. "Romantically correct" or no, the fading of looks over the years has undeniably put a bit of a strain on their marriage as well (admittedly, more so on his end, than her's). They've simply got enough else in common, enough stock put into loyalty to one another, and, yes, love one another enough, that its not a terribly huge problem.

It was also only something they ran afoul of after almost 20 years of marriage, 5 children, and their both becoming old, fat, and tired enough that sex wasn't really all that pivotal of an issue any longer anyway.

As such, I think you can understand why I'd be a bit apprehensive towards the idea of starting off at such a deficit, in a relationship in my 20s. Maybe this legitimately is more of an issue for me and mine than it is for you and your's, but it is an issue nevertheless. I'm shallow to a certain degree. I seem to come by it fairly naturally, and that's likely not going to change.

I like what I like. :shrug:

This isn't to say that I'm not keeping the girl I mentioned in the OP open for consideration. I very much am. I'm just not really positive there's enough of something here for me to actually pursue.

As others have suggested, I think the best solution is to simply keep my options open and play it by ear. My appreciation of her personality might very well come to outshine my misgivings regarding her physicality given more time. Hell! Her physicality might very well improve as well.

She just finished college, after all, which means less stress and more time to look after such things. She's also moving back to Florida shortly (though she claims that she will frequently come back to visit), and the strain of the state's oppressively hot, muggy, and sunny climate often has a slimming and toning effect on people as well.

I've got plenty of time to see how this all plays out. :shrug:
 
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Gathomas88 said:
Well, in fairness, I'm not just looking for a pretty face or a great body here. A hot, but ultimately dumb, girl would bore me to tears. A bad personality would, likewise, simply be repulsive.

I want the "whole package." Not a "10," per se, but attractive enough, in all regards, that I would want to both spend time with the person in question, as well as jump their bones. Lol

"Making lovely babies" actually is something I'm interested in pursuing in my future, so that's something to take into consideration as well.

Maybe this is just too much to ask for the typical "average joe," and he simply got incredibly lucky, but that's basically what my father found back in the day. "Romantically correct" or no, the fading of looks over the years has undeniably put a bit of a strain on their marriage as well (admittedly, more so on his end, than her's). They've simply got enough else in common, enough stock put into loyalty to one another, and, yes, love one another enough, that its not a terribly huge problem.

It was also only something they ran afoul of after almost 20 years of marriage, 5 children, and their both becoming old, fat, and tired enough that sex wasn't really all that pivotal of an issue any longer anyway.

As such, I think you can understand why I'd be a bit apprehensive towards the idea of starting off at such a deficit, in a relationship in my 20s. Maybe this legitimately is more of an issue for me and mine than it is for you and your's, but it is an issue nevertheless. I'm shallow to a certain degree. I seem to come by it fairly naturally, and that's likely not going to change.

I like what I like. :shrug:

This isn't to say that I'm not keeping the girl I mentioned in the OP open for consideration. I very much am. I'm just not really positive there's enough of something here for me to actually pursue.

As others have suggested, I think the best solution is to simply keep my options open and play it by ear. My appreciation of her personality might very well come to outshine my misgivings regarding her physicality given more time. Hell! Her physicality might very well improve as well.

She just finished college, after all, which means less stress and more time to look after such things. She's also moving back to Florida shortly (though she claims that she will frequently come back to visit), and the strain of the state's oppressively hot, muggy, and sunny climate often has a slimming and toning effect on people as well.

I've got plenty of time to see how this all plays out. :shrug:
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These things are not immutable. They are things you have picked up -- probably from your own father -- and you can change them at will given enough time and practice. I've certainly changed much harder and better-reasoned things about myself.

Yeah, it is a little much to ask of someone, and you are almost certain to miss out on something for ruling out people for purely physical reasons. You'll have your own compromises for them to deal with I'm sure, but you're not allowing much room for theirs. It's also unfortunate to relegate yourself to a sexless marriage once she stops being young and hot in the traditional sense, to say nothing of the fact that there's a good chance she won't take it lying down, so to speak.

Working on being less shallow would do a lot things for you, not just for the emotional well-being of whomever you might wind up with (although that's a fairly major consideration by itself). It would improve your odds of winding up with someone you actually really get on with, it would elongate your sex life, and it would just generally improve your outlook on people.

Your parents aren't old. Sex doesn't have to just be relegated to the closet once you're 50. And letting your health go is a choice, not mandatory. Lots of 50-year-olds are still in fighting shape and very sexually capable.

Believe me, it's possible to be incredibly moved to jump someone's bones even if they aren't at the top of the pack in terms of looks. You just have to understand and internalize that what makes a person you're involved with sexy is not the same thing that makes a poster sexy.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
These things are not immutable. They are things you have picked up -- probably from your own father -- and you can change them at will given enough time and practice. I've certainly changed much harder and better-reasoned things about myself.

Yeah, it is a little much to ask of someone, and you are almost certain to miss out on something for ruling out people for purely physical reasons. You'll have your own compromises for them to deal with I'm sure, but you're not allowing much room for theirs. It's also unfortunate to relegate yourself to a sexless marriage once she stops being young and hot in the traditional sense, to say nothing of the fact that there's a good chance she won't take it lying down, so to speak.

Working on being less shallow would do a lot things for you, not just for the emotional well-being of whomever you might wind up with (although that's a fairly major consideration by itself). It would improve your odds of winding up with someone you actually really get on with, it would elongate your sex life, and it would just generally improve your outlook on people.

Your parents aren't old. Sex doesn't have to just be relegated to the closet once you're 50. And letting your health go is a choice, not mandatory. Lots of 50-year-olds are still in fighting shape and very sexually capable.

Believe me, it's possible to be incredibly moved to jump someone's bones even if they aren't at the top of the pack in terms of looks. You just have to understand and internalize that what makes a person you're involved with sexy is not the same thing that makes a poster sexy.
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For the record, my mother's hardly averse to this kind of thinking either. Her first reaction when I brought the situation up to her was to laugh, say "that sucks," and emphasize it as another reason why I need to focus on advancing my professional prospects. She's also made it clear in the past that my father's looks most certainly did play a role in her choosing him back in the day as well.

They were actually a rather attractive couple, believe it or not. By her own admission, all of the men she dated would have made "beautiful babies."

Frankly... I don't really see a problem with that reasoning. :shrug:

I want someone I'm "hot" for. Physical sex appeal shouldn't be all there is to it, obviously, but I'm not going to downplay its relevance either. It's an important part of the romantic puzzle for the vast majority of people, and not something I intend to "settle" on, unless I truly feel it's really the right thing to do.

Who knows? It might very well be the right thing to do. I'm just not certain I'm at that point yet. Time alone will probably tell.

Yes, letting one's self "go" very much is a personal choice. I think it's one of the major areas where my parents have failed, actually (a reasonable level of fitness came fairly easy to them in their youth, so neither was terribly interested in athleticism, which had poor consequences as they got older), and one where I aim to improve upon their example.

Again, however, that's not really served by going for someone who isn't in the best of physical condition even now, in their youth. That state of affairs is only going to deteriorate over time if the habits of the person in question do not change, after all.

Where "internalizing sexy" is concerned, I'll have to take your word on it. That may work for you, and it's all well and good if this eventually develops to the level where I, similarly, simply don't care what this girl looks like, but I've never experienced such a thing. I'm really not sure if I could, so I'm certainly not ready to bank on it this early in the game.

All I know at the present moment is that - while I like this girl, and I recognise her as being a good potential match - she's doing basically nadda for me "down there." That's going to have to change at least a little bit before I get serious about things.
 
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Gathomas88 said:
For the record, my mother's hardly averse to this kind of thinking either. Her first reaction when I brought the situation up to her was to laugh, say "that sucks," and emphasize it as another reason why I need to focus on advancing my professional prospects. She's also made it clear in the past that my father's looks most certainly did play a role in her choosing him back in the day as well.

They were actually a rather attractive couple, believe it or not. By her own admission, all of the men she dated would have made "beautiful babies."

Frankly... I don't really see a problem with that reasoning. :shrug:

I want someone I'm "hot" for. Physical sex appeal shouldn't be all there is to it, obviously, but I'm not going to downplay its relevance either. It's an important part of the romantic puzzle for the vast majority of people, and not something I intend to "settle" on, unless I truly feel it's really the right thing to do.

Who knows? It might very well be the right thing to do. I'm just not certain I'm at that point yet. Time alone will probably tell.

Yes, letting one's self "go" very much is a personal choice. I think it's one of the major areas where my parents have failed, actually (a reasonable level of fitness came fairly easy to them in their youth, so neither was terribly interested in athleticism, which had poor consequences as they got older), and one where I aim to improve upon their example.

Again, however, that's not really served by going for someone who isn't in the best of physical condition even now, in their youth. That state of affairs is only going to deteriorate over time if the habits of the person in question do not change, after all.
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Can I ask how she "let herself go?" Like she's got a beer belly or what? I mean you're in your early twenties, at that age I could eat like 5 pizzas without a inch gained and now well ... it's a little different. :lol:
 
americanwoman said:
Can I ask how she "let herself go?" Like she's got a beer belly or what? I mean you're in your early twenties, at that age I could eat like 5 pizzas without a inch gained and now well ... it's a little different. [emoji38]
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Who in particular are you asking about? Lol
 
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