So the wife surprises me one night when I come home form work with her mom babysitting the kids so we could have a date night out with some of her friends. Great, right? Anyway, we go out and it's like 4 of her friends But I have no problems with this, and we all enjoy a nice dinner. Then I find out it was decided beforehand we would all be going to see the "sure to be nominated for an Oscar" thriller, Magic Mike. A movie about male strippers for those who don't know. Being secure in my manhood, I figure I can make it through this(and to be fair, my wife has watched porn with me so I owe her) although I did glance longingly at the Katy Perry poster for her movie, which I am sure will be in the running at the Oscars against Magic Mike.
So anyway, I am watching the classical acting of Channing Tatum, what looks like a former pro-wrestler, a werewolf from HBO's True Blood and 3-4 more nobodies. Tremendous plot was slightly overshadowed by some male nudity, which is a shame. Take away the stripping, and we are talking some Casablanca **** here. But I come to the realization during this movie that women are far more boisterous and excited by male nudity than men are by female nudity, particularly when their husbands are away. Now, I saw the line for the movie. There were a few youngish looking girls, but for the most part, we are talking mid 30's-mid 40-s female crowd here. When the lights dimmed, and the guys started stripping, by the sounds in the theater you would have thought I was in a room full of 12 year old girls who never saw a grown mans ass cheeks, rather than women who have forcibly expelled children from their wombs. I have been to movies where superhot actresses bare all, and I have never heard a room full of men lose their **** over it. Hell I have been in many a strip club, with actual naked women literally 2 feet away, and guys keep it under control by comparison. I don't know if the depictions in the movie are correct, but women in a strip club are like a little swarm of horny bats and cackling hens if Magic Mike is to be believed. Judging by the movie crowds reaction, I think it must be somewhat true.
Now I am not offended by this, but it did educate me a little about women. We often portray women as these elite creatures of taste and choice, with whom men are just "lucky" to be with. That they are attracted to men with "intelligence, humor, etc...." And men are just sex hungry crazed idiots looking for big boobs and lithe teenage bodies. Make no mistake, women are as crazy about a good physique, if not more so. They would just as easily slip a dollar in a g-string as you or me fellas. And they'd probably whoop it up with their friends while doing so. I don't begrudge them their fun, but it was surprising to see so many women losing it over a butt shot. Hell Olivia Munn had a topless shot, yet I remained calm whilst admiring. I wonder why women were so vocal about it, particularly when so many of them had likely had a real penis thrust in them before.
So what I learned is that while our wives may indeed love us for all our other attributes, we are not their fantasy. Channing Tatum is.
Edit: And to prove how desperate at least one female was to see this movie, she brought her newborn baby to the movie. A baby who loudly (and appropriatley) **** his diaper halfway through.