Thread: Polygamy or Non monogamous relationships: How do you view these?

Originally Posted by katiegrrl0

Open communication is inoperative. Learning each other and experiencing each other over time I see as vital to making such a relationship work.

I agree.

The problem is most people are paranoid, let teasing get out of control, and don't know how to communicate.

It's the same reason cheating and dysfunctional relationships are so abundant.

Originally Posted by Daktoria

Do you believe unsophisticated working class people will have no problem with this as well?



I agree. There is lots of potential for people to be intimidated into a third party relationship where they either accept a third party or get broken up with.



Are you speaking of preventing cuckolding as well? People should have to assume the risk of taking care of others' children or becoming abandoned once dependent upon a household.

A good post. I am just offering this to see peoples opinions on polygamy and you ask profound questions. When a person walks into any relationship there can certainly be ups and downs. This is expected. Every day will not be like the first usually. There are a lot of questions to be answered in a relationship of more than one person. Soon as we take a wife or a husband we add complexity and the possibility of being abandoned in the relationship. I see more complexity because of more personalities but the things that can happen would mirror a relationship of two.

I am not talking about adding a third by intimidation but out of love. Just as a person enters a relationship with one. I'm sure there may be those that enter a marriage of two by intimidation. I am looking at three or four people fully in love.

Originally Posted by Daktoria

I agree.

The problem is most people are paranoid, let teasing get out of control, and don't know how to communicate.

It's the same reason cheating and dysfunctional relationships are so abundant.

This is true and it goes on within a marriage of two. Do you think it would hamper to a greater degree three or four. The difference in my eyes is getting on with two other people on a daily basis in a fully functional way. It is possible a third party could even help in the center when two are off kilter with each other.

Originally Posted by katiegrrl0

More people should take such an attitude and stay out of others relationships.

Fully agree.
When people stick their noses into my business,I "slam the door in their faces "(metaphorically speaking, of course,though there have been times when I did it quite literally) and if they end up with a hurt nose,oh well,they shouldn't of have it where it didn't belong in the first place.

Originally Posted by katiegrrl0

In many of the Same Sex Marriage this point is brought up frequently. I have read statements such as this: If you allow SSM next people want to legalize polygamy.

slippery slope fallacy; not worthy of your time to respond.

Originally Posted by katiegrrl0

If you are for polyamory how do you see these working in a legal and relationship sense? If you are against consenting adults in relationships that are non monogamous why? How do you see families of this type altering society and affecting anything beyond there own family structure?

i honestly don't care who people want to have sex with. would i want to be in such a relationship? no.

additionally, we already have group marriage. it's called incorporation.

Originally Posted by Verthaine

Fully agree.
When people stick their noses into my business,I "slam the door in their faces "(metaphorically speaking, of course,though there have been times when I did it quite literally) and if they end up with a hurt nose,oh well,they shouldn't of have it where it didn't belong in the first place.

I think we would all be better off if we all tried to stay out of the relationships of others. When we get involved to intimately with love relationships beyond our own we interfere and create situations such as the debate over SSM

Originally Posted by Helix

slippery slope fallacy; not worthy of your time to respond.



i honestly don't care who people want to have sex with. would i want to be in such a relationship? no.

additionally, we already have group marriage. it's called incorporation.

Why does the idea for so many of relationship immediately head to sex? Is a marriage far more than sexual. It it not a sharing of the fullness of ones life. It's joining hands and walking through the garden of life together and being lifted when you are down by the spirit of a loved one or two. Marriage is not only a bedroom image in my eyes. For that I could just go to a lesbian bar and and find sex with no commitment at all. I would also walk away from the experience without love and unsatisfied as there would be no relationship.
If marriage is just sex why bother?

Originally Posted by katiegrrl0

Soon as we take a wife or a husband we add complexity and the possibility of being abandoned in the relationship. I see more complexity because of more personalities but the things that can happen would mirror a relationship of two.

Right, this is why I asked you about polygamy's potential among unsophisticated working class people. By definition of competing in a concrete labor market, they aren't abstract thinkers who can deal with complex situations.

I am not talking about adding a third by intimidation but out of love. Just as a person enters a relationship with one. I'm sure there may be those that enter a marriage of two by intimidation. I am looking at three or four people fully in love.

Of course, but the potential for intimidation only increases in complex circumstances which unsophisticated people might not have been able to anticipate.

Do you think it would hamper to a greater degree three or four.

Yea, it's just like balancing multiple friendships or multiple social circles. More information flow requires more attention.

Unfortunately, unsophisticated working class people don't have the attention to spare. Many of them struggle with recognizing multiple others, requiring a Lacanian "Big Other" to generalize all their relationships under one scope.

Originally Posted by Daktoria

Right, this is why I asked you about polygamy's potential among unsophisticated working class people. By definition of competing in a concrete labor market, they aren't abstract thinkers who can deal with complex situations.



Of course, but the potential for intimidation only increases in complex circumstances which unsophisticated people might not have been able to anticipate.



Yea, it's just like balancing multiple friendships or multiple social circles. More information flow requires more attention.

Unfortunately, unsophisticated working class people don't have the attention to spare. Many of them struggle with recognizing multiple others, requiring a Lacanian "Big Other" to generalize all their relationships under one scope.

You bring up unsophisticated people and it is a class of people certainly but though they may not be savvy to some of the intricacies of such a relationship they would or should know to stay out if it is not for them. A person walks their own path. They can be in a relationship with two of three or more by choice. If a person sees polygamy as more than they can handle they do have the option to walk away. Consider a person prone to jealousy this would certainly not be for them. They would hopefully not be in this type of relationship.
It's a choice we make in our own walks. I don't suggest this for all. It is a consideration where love can prevail over much. I would need all partners to be on equal footing and feel confident in their love for me and mine for them.

Originally Posted by katiegrrl0

Consider a person prone to jealousy this would certainly not be for them. They would hopefully not be in this type of relationship.

It's a choice we make in our own walks. I don't suggest this for all. It is a consideration where love can prevail over much. I would need all partners to be on equal footing and feel confident in their love for me and mine for them.

Right, right.

Have you considered the side-effect of broadcasting a polygamous relationship in a community though? People can become jealous of seeing others in relationships they can't obtain themselves.

It's a similar complication as public displays of affection. People shouldn't be suggested to walk away from a community they didn't ask to be born into just to be comfortable.