“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
― Stephen R. Covey
Yeah mmkay, look here....
Most importantly, please take a private moment each day to truly tell her how you feel. It is not enough to offer an 'I Love You' when you hang up the phone or before you go to sleep.
.....: Sit facing her. Tell her 'thank you'. Tell her why you love her, and why she makes you so happy.
Oh hail no. This is something you do maybe twice a year, dude.
If you did that EVERY DANG NIGHT I'm pretty sure that after a while, you'd start getting this reaction half the time: "Uh, honey, this is sweet and all but I'm kinda tired and I'd really like to just go to sleep now..."
If you do it every day it loses much of its effect.
Let's say I was married to some gal who thought I was the best thing since chocolate.
I would not WANT her to sit me down and stare at me and spend five minutes telling me how awesome I am and how lucky she is to have me EVERY DAYUM DAY. Honestly it would eventually get on my nerves a bit.
See it would be really sweet, once in a while. Doing it every day robs it of its special-ness.
Originally Posted by Thomas Sowell
I'll be honest. No matter how many times I have tried to reassure my wife she is not fat/ugly, she never buys into it. I finally figured out my wife after 8 years. She is someone who has always been, and likely always will be wracked with a lack of self confidence for whatever reason. I've pretty much done everything I can do to assure her I love her and that I am with her because I want to be. And it is all to no avail. I get the same whining about how it must suck for me to be stuck with a fat/ugly wife, when I have never initimated such feelings. I have no idea how to make it so she is confident in herself.
"Love is the death of duty"- Aemon Targaryen
I think both men and women should do a lot more of that. We need, as humans, to be reminded by the one we love that we are "theirs" and why. I love hearing the i love you when we wake up, go to bed, hang up the phone, whatever.... that is needed. But when my husband holds my face in his hands and whispers just HOW MUCH he adores me... wow. There is a saying that one "aw ****" takes the place of a hundred "atta boys", but i have found that the reverse is true as well.... those moments when he looks you straight in the eyes and tells you just how much he loves you and why... well, it helps all the aw ****s melt away.
Try what Spiker suggests, you may start welcoming her little "i'm so ugly" comments. Took me forever too, I got tired and started doing something similar to what Spiker is noting above, and low and behold, the promised land.