Anyone wondering what I'm talking about start here:
The Psychology of Persuasion
While a laudable effort, once I saw that you place a condition on how to show your love and appreciation you lost me. This smacks more of some type of servitude rather than a loving, romantic relationship. For the woman that buys into this and attempts to compel me to through "obligation", I would provide the following: ComplimentBot 4000 | Refresh for more love , together with hiring a butler and house keeper because what is called for is a mechanical application of some tawdry, superficial and disingenuous list of obligations. This takes away from any genuine show of affection and appreciation, any spontaneity, any unique personal touch.
I rather live the love that I have and do what comes naturally. If my talent is in cooking make a meal she loves, if it is in music write a song or pick one out or reach beyond my own comfort level to do something that brings about a loving atmosphere. We chose each other because we accepted who were we to begin with. Go to the ends of the earth, but, never be a servant to some ideals that are fitted for someone not in the relationship. If I have some strange idea that chores and housework are just one partner's responsibility then I better have a change of attitude because therein lies seeds for some harsh and resentful feelings. Relationships grow as people grow, so do the opportunities and ways to show love and appreciation.
There ya go...that says it all....My wife is my dollbaby shes been from day one...and if you really love your wife only other thing you need is respect.
If you love her you WILL think of her when shes not around...I used to stop with my patrol car during break and run in a flower shop and have one rose with a note delivered to her salon...I cant wait to hug you....I still do things that alot of guys would consider corny maybe....but I like doing it...I like to see her face lit up
I agree, Tim.
Personally? I didn't pass that chance up. I have a great husband. He's getting up with the girls tomorrow and letting me sleep in. That? That's nice. That's the kind of thing that I appreciate.
Good article. How many women who expect that much from a husband are willing to put forth the same effort. If you want to be treated like a queen make sure you are treating your husband like a queen.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
― Stephen R. Covey
Heavens - I read all of that and it sounded exhausting.
No - I don't hold such exhausting and time consuming 'prove you love me' efforts up to my husband - I know he loves me.
yeah, you know, sometimes we're just that simple. Sometimes that's more than enough.Most importantly, please take a private moment each day to truly tell her how you feel. It is not enough to offer an 'I Love You' when you hang up the phone or before you go to sleep.
You know what does thrill me when he goes out of the way to do something: remembering if I said "I need such-n-such" - like last week it rained on my way to school and I realized my wipers were crap . . . and I commented 'this weekend I'll get some wiper blades for the van' . . . well he bought them for me a few days later. That was awesome = he listened and remembered and I didn't even expect it or request it!
Or how about when he goes to the grocery store he always buys me a Dr Pepper = now that's love baby!
I don't need post-it-notes hidden in places. Though sweet! I dont' need my husband going out of the way all the time to conceive of new methods to tell me what's common knowledge.
Last edited by Aunt Spiker; 05-07-12 at 06:22 PM.
To be honest it sounds a bit over the top to me.
Saying 'i love you' and 'you're beautiful' pretty much every day... sure. Being reasonably thoughtful and considerate, sure.
But much of the rest of it just seems like overkill... I mean, if you do all that stuff ALL THE TIME, wtf are you going to do for a special occasion?
Familiarity breeds contempt.... I think after a while all that might get a bit tedious and she might begin to wonder if you could possibly be acting from genuine feeling if you're Mr. Romance every minute of every day.
Not to mention it sounds like a good way to ruin a good woman by spoiling her too much.
Fiddling While Rome Burns
I agree, Auntie. I don't need constant affirmation of his love for me. I'm not 20.
I will say that his getting up with the girls for me last week went over like a turd in a punchbowl. He didn't get them to the bus on time, so he had to drive them. He didn't take the trash out to the road so I'm up running around in my nightgown taking the trash out. He didn't give the girls lunch money. I won't ask him to do that for me again. It ended up being more work and more stress and headache than if I'd just gotten up with them myself.
That goes a long way, btw. . . that can stay with me 'til nighttime and keep me from being in a bad mood.