This question is for all of the DP Members who are Engaged or Married......
How did you KNOW, for CERTAIN that your Husband or Wife was THE ONE?
just as there is no certainty, there is no ONE
there are some and hopefully you found ONE of them
from your posts, you strike me as being a hard person to please (in some ways; in other ways your very direct behavior would allow someone to know exactly where you stand)
if i can sense that on the internet, then she certainly knows it from these weeks you have been together
that she has not fled, is a positive sign [i am NOT being sarcastic or intentionally mean in saying that]
glad you may have found your soulmate and equally glad you are intending to wait a while and see if the magic remains intact. just be absolutely candid in your expectations and desires and hope she will be equally honest in telling you how she feels rather than responding with what she believes you want to hear
my wife was a young widow. i had a starter marriage years before. so, we both had an understanding about the complexities and realities of a marriage. i had vowed never to get married again, and thought i could not father children. so, the prospect of marriage when i met her was beyond remote
there were many, many women in my life; sexual partners, adventure partners, intellectual partners. some of them were also good friends (and thankfully, remain good friends). but none of them were the whole package. none were the women i would want to be my childrens' mother, or they were not the kind of women who would not bore me to tears, or the gals i could not wait for them to leave after spending time together. one i was very close to, and contemplated marriage with - probably the most beautiful and sexual woman i have ever seen, much less known - would be absolutely catty to waitresses, for no reason whatsoever. that was a sign telling me to stay away. her subsequent history of relationships proved my inner instinct correct. another was a very high income earner, but insisted on spending more than she made. she was gorgeous and sensual and bright. and a few years after i married someone else she was also bankrupt
that inner voice. listen to it. i got married the first time despite that inner voice screaming "don't do it". after dating for two years i naively believed i needed to marry the woman i was with who wanted to be married. i tuned out that inner voice and made a huge mistake
i guess i am trying - struggling - to say listen to your heart but also listen to your head. is this woman compatible, in bed, in values, in expectations, in life. is this woman someone you want to be there. someone you want to be with when she is not around; is this woman your FRIEND. if you BOTH want children, would this woman make a good mother to your kids
if you really believe the answer to those questions is yes, then chances are good you have stumbled into a relationship with one of the ones
and do not let her get away
thus june will mark 28 years of being glad i found someone who could put up with me
