DeeJayH

prime example of what is wrong with this country these days
thankfully some of us see parenthood as a joy and a precious gift

such a sad world it must be to see pregnancy, child rearing, and so much more i am sure, as such a burden on poor little you

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These days it seems that the deadliest place on earth for an American to be is inside the womb. - Joshua P. Allem

Summerwind

I think generally women are more likely to remember the "realities" of children/parenthood whereas most men (who generally had little to do with the daily rearing of them) would find them and parenthood in general "precious". This is a generalized statement, not referring to individual exceptions that I am sure exist in both directions. Children, just like spouses/weddings/marriages, are double edged swords. I think it is the better parent that recognizes that, rather than hanging on the the pipedream of "preciousness".

1069

Gifts from whom?
I made them myself.
Are they supposed to be gifts from me to myself, like a home pedicure or a batch of brownies I bake when nobody's home, so that I can scarf them down all by myself without having to share them?

Indeed; I'm sure someone who claims to find parenthood a unadulterated "precious" gift probably saw his children- at best- two weekends a month, and for two weeks in the summer.
Children, with the proper incentive, may be capable of impersonating "precious gifts" for up to two week at a time, although generally not much longer than that.

__________________
"I do love this idea that one can scream and scream and scream, with that utopia just one more scream away."
~ Scucca

DeeJayH

sorry to hear about how miserable your life has turned out

1069

Parents who actually see their children on a daily basis tend to be realists, as opposed to idealists.



That's what she sounds like to me: a realist.
I don't think reality is so much miserable as it is *real*.
Although less ideal than idealism, I'd still rather be grounded here in reality with my children, than living in some idealist LalaLand without them.

Summerwind

Well if that's what you heard, then either your "ears" don't work, or your brain is incapable of ascertaining the meaning that your "ears hear". I'm guessing you meant to type "read" rather than "hear". So please substitute, "eyes" for "ears" and "read" for "hear" in my remarks for the sake of accuracy.

DeeJayH

sorry to hear you are also so anal

but some people see challenge instead of problems
some people see oppurtunities instead of problems
that is the reality some of us live in, and it is quite grounded in reality
just a different way of reacting to the occurences of our life
it also seems to be why some people ar happy throughout their life
whereas others are miserable, because all of the problems
where the happy ones see oppurtunities and challenges that they thrive on

some women, for example, make childrearing seem like a never ending nightmare
whereas some women just glide through the ups and downs of it all
(catastrophic health issues, and the likes aside) and make it look easy
some people are melodramatic and others just deal with what happens, regardless of what it is

1069

Ditto.

DeeJayH

and btw, i do envy WI Crippler and all the others here just starting out on the family journey.

although i also am enjoying the fact that at 41 I am entering another phase of my own life
whereas virtually every friend i have is just starting to have kids
that is behind me, atleast for now
nobody knows whats coming
but some are equiped to deal with whatever does
some apparently are not, they are too busy making excuses

1069

Well, I'm in the same boat (minus the envy).
We'll get to be grandparents who are still young enough to be cool and take an active role, rather than just lolling around in a wheelchair, afghan-draped and drooling.