Christains pick and choose Christ's teachings all the time, Phelps is no different to any other christain. The only difference is lack of empathy, but that empathy a secular characteristic not a religious one.
You argument is that Westboro belief is not what I believe so therefore it is wrong. But that can be applied to any church and denomination. Are catholics REAL christains? Methodists? The guy preaching around the corner? A christain who believes homosexuals will have a place in paradise? What is the definition of a REAL christain?
Every christain is a real one and there is no real christains if you get me, because unless you KNOW the mind of your god, it is all subjective.