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Thread: School outed teen to parents, said it was ‘legally obligated’: lawsuit

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    Re: School outed teen to parents, said it was ‘legally obligated’: lawsuit

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    Ok - I see two different things going on here.

    1) How they confronted her - this is wrong and they should be fired for it - a charge of assault and false imprisonment - very harsh charges. She, also, shouldn't have been kicked off the team - everything that they did was wrong.

    2) Informing the parents of her orientation - though they acted like some douches - I feel that this subject is a necessity the same as informing your parents of anything else that happens to you while you're at school and away from your parents.

    On this issue of informing - it should be in the form of a discussion and out of concern for the student - not out of "let's get them in trouble" as if they've done something wrong.
    I have 4 children - and if the school knew something about them that I didn't know - I'd be hurt, at the least, if I eventually found out something. Especially in this day and age where bullying of lesbian and gay students is becoming more common and more detrimental. When some students have committed suicide over these issues it's in large part because their parents weren't involved, didn't care - or didn't even know - and gave no support or help at all.

    So - why shouldn't the parents know?
    As we all are becoming aware - often time sexual orientation issues can lead to serious social, emotional and other personal problems and it's up to the school to bring these concerns up to the parents or at least see if the parents are supportive and seeking help.

    The school IS suppose to be concerned for the students wellbeing - they provide counseling and they intervene often with other issues. If you care for a child for 8-10 hours of the day you are a caregiver and it's your responsibility to keep the parents informed and involved WITH the ongoings of said child while the parents and children are separated.

    So this part doesn't bother me - it's HOW they treated this girl that DOES bother me and IS a major problem. But the fact that they told the parents - though they should have done things completely different - is not an issue.

    Why does this upset everyone else - as if a parent no longer has the right to know what's going on with their kids?
    Is everyone assuming the parents won't be caring, loving and supporting?
    I know I would - and I'd much rather be able to talk to my kids about ANYTHING that they're dealing with as opposed to everyone else railroading them mentally while they're suppose to be in math class.
    That's exactly what I'm assuming.

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    Re: School outed teen to parents, said it was ‘legally obligated’: lawsuit

    Quote Originally Posted by Whovian View Post
    I'm not sure I'd place 'suspected homosexuality' on the same level as suspected child abuse, sickness, and troublesome behavior.
    I'm not saying they're all the same thing - they are, however, ALL parental concerns which is my point.
    If anything - no matter what it might be - happens with someone's child the parents have a right to know about it - don't they?

    Are parents only suppose to be talked to if their kids have done something wrong these days?

    Why is being a parent such a bad thing these days?

    Quote Originally Posted by Partisanhack View Post
    That's exactly what I'm assuming.
    Well please don't.
    If my kids were homosexual I'd want to be the involved middle-man to protect them from others who might pick on them, bully them and hold them out of things.

    If the girl in the OP were my child I'd go to great lengths to see the perpetrators paid for their crime and that my daughter received whatever support, care and love she needed after such an aweful situation.
    Last edited by Aunt Spiker; 12-27-10 at 05:45 PM.
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    Re: School outed teen to parents, said it was ‘legally obligated’: lawsuit

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    I'm not saying they're all the same thing - they are, however, ALL parental concerns which is my point.
    If anything - no matter what it might be - happens with someone's child the parents have a right to know about it - don't they?

    Are parents only suppose to be talked to if their kids have done something wrong these days?

    Why is being a parent such a bad thing these days?



    Well please don't.
    If my kids were homosexual I'd want to be the involved middle-man to protect them from others who might pick on them, bully them and hold them out of things.

    If the girl in the OP were my child I'd go to great lengths to see the perpetrators paid for their crime and that my daughter received whatever support, care and love she needed after such an aweful situation.
    I applaud you, but let's be honest: this is Texas. If I were a gay teenager in the Bible belt, being outed to my parents is not something I would roll the dice on. Telling her parents is not something anyone should do for any reason unless they're really damn sure that the parents would have a positive attitude.

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    Re: School outed teen to parents, said it was ‘legally obligated’: lawsuit

    This is BS and they all know it. Those coaches need to be fired and anyone who defended their actions, including the disclosure, should be at the very least disciplined if not fired as well.

    There is not one rule (that I can find) in any of their policies that says that they are required to reveal a student's sexuality to the student's parent(s). In fact, there are several that mention a student's privacy should be maintained to the greatest extent and one that specifies that an employee should not be using threats of calling a student's parent to coerce them during an "interrogation".

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    Re: School outed teen to parents, said it was ‘legally obligated’: lawsuit

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    I'm not saying they're all the same thing - they are, however, ALL parental concerns which is my point.
    If anything - no matter what it might be - happens with someone's child the parents have a right to know about it - don't they?

    Are parents only suppose to be talked to if their kids have done something wrong these days?

    Why is being a parent such a bad thing these days?
    Certainly a parental concern. But they did not tell her mother out of 'concern'. It looks more like they did it to get back at her. Is THAT a lesson you want to teach a child? That it's OK to do that out of anger?

    Actually, no. Parents do not NEED or have a right to know every single thing about their children. Would you read your daughters diary if she happened to leave it unlocked on time? There are some things that it is acceptable to keep private, until the child decides it's time to tell the parent. That's how I raised my children, and all 3 are turning out to be happy, healthy and well adjusted members of society.

    Being a parent is a great thing, in these or any other day. I think the fundamental difference here is that you seem to feel the need/right to know everything about your child, and that they deserve no privacy. I say that based on your comments in this thread only.

    Just as an aside, I have a serious moral problem with homosexuality. I feel it is morally wrong. However, I do not press that opinion onto anyone else, as I do not feel it is my place to judge them as people. That's between them and whatever deity the believe in.

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    Re: School outed teen to parents, said it was ‘legally obligated’: lawsuit

    Quote Originally Posted by Partisanhack View Post
    I applaud you, but let's be honest: this is Texas. If I were a gay teenager in the Bible belt, being outed to my parents is not something I would roll the dice on. Telling her parents is not something anyone should do for any reason unless they're really damn sure that the parents would have a positive attitude.
    So you're actually saying that, because of where they live, they should assume her parents will be against her?
    Geesh man - what ARE parents these days - meaningless, worthless, the worst things to happen to kids in this day and age or something?

    It's a shame to realize that most people assume parents knowing things would be a bad thing - I guess your parents didn't care too much.

    Mine certain didn't - I ended up in some very dangerous and difficult situations in life because they minded my privacy and individuality TOO MUCH. Parents shouldn't be so removed that their own kids refuse to come to them for anything. Parents should be strong, supportive and ALWAYS there no matter what.

    If most parents aren't like this then perhaps they need to check theirselves.
    Last edited by Aunt Spiker; 12-27-10 at 08:03 PM.
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    Re: School outed teen to parents, said it was ‘legally obligated’: lawsuit

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    So you're actually saying that, because of where they live, they should assume her parents will be against her?
    Geesh man - what ARE parents these days - meaningless, worthless, the worst things to happen to kids in this day and age or something?

    It's a shame to realize that most people assume parents knowing things would be a bad thing - I guess your parents didn't care too much.

    Mine certain didn't - I ended up in some very dangerous and difficult situations in life because they minded my privacy and individuality TOO MUCH. Parents shouldn't be so removed that their own kids refuse to come to them for anything. Parents should be strong, supportive and ALWAYS there no matter what.

    If most parents aren't like this then perhaps they need to check theirselves.
    For something like this, I believe that it is something that children should be allowed to tell parents in their own time. Not all parents are supportive of this and even if they are, they certainly will feel hurt to have to hear about it from someone else besides their child. It is not fair to either the parent or the child to reveal such a thing, especially out of vindictiveness.
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    Re: School outed teen to parents, said it was ‘legally obligated’: lawsuit

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    For something like this, I believe that it is something that children should be allowed to tell parents in their own time. Not all parents are supportive of this and even if they are, they certainly will feel hurt to have to hear about it from someone else besides their child. It is not fair to either the parent or the child to reveal such a thing, especially out of vindictiveness.
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    Re: School outed teen to parents, said it was ‘legally obligated’: lawsuit

    I find the treatment of this student was abusive. The school had no right to disclose the students sexual orientation to their parents. A student's sexuality is none of their business or responsibility. Coming out of the closet is a serious decision for homosexuals. It's not right to violate this students privacy and force them to disclose their sexual orientation when they are not ready. If the parents were to be told at all, it should have been done by the student in accordance with the student's will. These teachers had no right to lock this girl in a room and force her to disclose of her sexuality. This is abusive, a breach of privacy, none of their business, and potentially psychologically and emotionally damaging to the girl.
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    Re: School outed teen to parents, said it was ‘legally obligated’: lawsuit

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    So you're actually saying that, because of where they live, they should assume her parents will be against her?
    I think that when it comes to matters of personal sexuality, young people should be allowed to discuss these issues with their parents on their own terms, and school officials shouldn't be in the middle of what is essentially a private matter.

    I have a 17-year-old. If I'm doing my job as a parent, she's going to tell me what's going on with her. If I'm not, it's not the schools job to remedy this. If my child is breaking the rules of the school, or is committing what would be a criminal act, or is causing disruption, or is being victimized in some way, the school needs to tell me.

    But teenagers have a right to decide how they are going to handle private discussions like this one. The school had ZERO role in this situation. And, providing information to the parents that the school shouldn't have been in possession of? Totally over the line.
    Last edited by Catz Part Deux; 12-28-10 at 11:27 AM.

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