I was about to post something similiar, though it didn't have to do with me marrying. My take on her husband's friends and family is precisely what you outlined here: Curiousity. And this caller, instead of taking that opportunity to educate, takes that curiosity of something/someone new and makes it ugly.
I may have mentioned this in another thread at some other time, but when I was India, a white, blonde, [American] woman was a novelty and I got a ****load of attention. That aside, and related to what we're talking about though, was a day that I was in the rainforest hiking around looking at waterfalls. I was sitting next to some bamboo trees near the trail when a group of Indian folks started walking by. Their eyes opened wide when they saw me and they were quite excited. Two of the young girls ran back up the trail and came running back down with another white, blonde woman in tow. They were *showing* her to me. The woman, British, said to me, "They wanted to show you that they have a white woman too." I just laughed. There was nothing racist about it. They asked me questions, wanted to know about me and "my people". The other western woman and I sat and talked about how much attention we both got and she gave me some tips since she married a local.
The thing is, I could have taken it as some racist bull****, turned my nose up and gotten snotty. But that would have been inappropriate. My race [and nationality] was a novelty, they were curious and wanted to know more about a people that they had little interaction with. That's all it was.
Now, it's hard to get a full read on what the caller's situation was, but from what she said, it sounds like something similiar. It sounds like they're trying to get to know her and "her people" and she's getting all pissy about it instead of using that situation to educate.
