My husband and I had children together - last I looked. What consequences is he dealing with for having children?
Well - he was in the military and retired out medically with benefits - so he has people willing to jump through hoops to help him out because he's a disabled veteran. Him being in the military and deploying often is part of the reason why I became a stay at home parent.
Now that he's out and *unable to work* I have to find employment to support the family because he can no longer do so. Grantid - I don't need to equal his pay. Heck, a job that pays $9.00/hr would be sufficient to fill in the financial gap of what his retirement pay does not cover.
Only, I'm unable. I'm not a stay at home parent anymore - kids are all older - he's no longer in the military. We're an aging family now. But no one wants to hire someone who put country and family first for years. Oh they'll hire him in a heartbeat. But me? No.
There's the imbalance: the social view - society doesn't value the stay at home parent or take us seriously as participants in society. Heck - even you said that it's an acceptable 'consequence' of having children and caring for them adequately.
And further - do you really think stat at home dads are given the cold shoulder when returning to work? It would be interesting to see research on that because i have a feeling that they're not. Society's further jilt, here, is assuming men don't take on the at-home parenting responsibilities. Men aren't seen as 'parents' when they apply for a job. Women, by default, will be assumed to 'have kids' or will be 'potentially pregnant' in the near future - so we're always given a more critical eye and doubt.