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Thread: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

  1. #811
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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Were you a foster child in Ohio? I ask because I was and some of your stories preach to the choir. My foatster mom would have us stand with our knees locked and hands on our ankles in a stretching position.I stood there.for 5 hours once, but moving would've been much worse. I did the same thing, ran away again and again, knowing Id escape to a new type of hell each time. I'm wondering if Ohios foster system needs a good looking at.

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by Chelsea View Post
    Were you a foster child in Ohio? I ask because I was and some of your stories preach to the choir. My foatster mom would have us stand with our knees locked and hands on our ankles in a stretching position.I stood there.for 5 hours once, but moving would've been much worse. I did the same thing, ran away again and again, knowing Id escape to a new type of hell each time. I'm wondering if Ohios foster system needs a good looking at.
    No, I was in Rochester, New York, but the foster care system in this country is appalling. Even then (this happened in the 1950's and 1960's), lazy, dysfunctional, evil intended adults would take in foster kids -- especially teenaged girls -- for the huge paycheck from social services, and to exploit that kid. I even had one foster mother who had a pimp actually living in her home! And when I told the social worker -- that woman had an 8 year old bio daughter, and I wanted her made safe -- once again, I was not believed.

    If I had it in my power, I would outlaw the entire system and put kids in group homes, holding less than 10 kids, located in the community and staffed by 3 sets of adults: weekends, week days and week nights. It'd be far cheaper, more stable and there'd be far less abuse.

    I'd also cut kids loose to be adopted. I never was, even though my parents died when I was five. My father's family wouldn't take me in but wasn't willing to bear the shame of allowing me to be adopted out -- even though my parents' best friends wanted us and we lived with them after my parents died for several months. They were not Catholic, and to the immigrants I am related to, allowing a child out of the RCC was unthinkable -- so I was sent to the orphanage.

    Orphans are far and few between; most kids are in the system because their parents are neglectful or abusive or incarcerated. Those kids deserve a decent life, and adoption at the earliest possible time is almost always in the best interests of the child.

    WTH else should matter?

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by Pinkie View Post
    [COLOR="#cc0066"]I was 14 when I was bullied, and if I had had to cope with it at night, if it had been amplified by the net, if I could not escape it by changing schools......who knows? Frankly, I had suicidal ideas even with just the way things were.
    Uhh...

    There is this little thing called "Delete Account" in facebook.

    One can escape it if they want to.
    "I condemn the ideology of White Supremacy and Nazism. They are thugs, criminals, and repugnant, and are against what I believe to be "The American Way" "
    Thus my obligatory condemnation of White supremacy will now be in every post, lest I be accused of supporting it because I didn't mention it specifically every time I post.

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Yeah I think the safest I ever was, was in a mental health facility acting as my "group home" until a foster home opened up. The rules were unfair a bit because I was there for running away not behavioral issues like most of the other kids, but I wasn't starved, beaten, or raped.

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by Caine View Post
    Uhh...

    There is this little thing called "Delete Account" in facebook.

    One can escape it if they want to.
    I understand you're having difficulty grasping how this actually works, Caine. It's okay with me that you are confused as long as you keep trying.

    * The Megan Meier case amply demonstrates that the abuse is not always unpleasant at first, and when the worm turns, the kid is so shocked and injured, they cannot disengage.

    * If a kid were wise enough to get off the site, the site's coding usually does not permit deletion. Facebook, MySpace, etc. do have "backdoors" that allow an account to be deleted, but only an IT professional knows this. All most people will be able to do is deactivate -- and if you use a bookmark to navigate to DP, for instance, you know how long that prompt will show up. I haven't posted to one website for at least 6 months, maybe longer -- and Google still displays it as "recently visited" every time I open my browser.

    * If a kid is able to delete his account and never checks to see what's being said about him (such self-control and wisdom is rare in an adult, and likely as not, virtually impossible for a 9 or 12 year old), their peers almost certainly know about the interaction, talk about it and will create a cloud of hate to surround the child, wall-to-wall, 24/7/365. This is exactly what happened to Amanda Knox, the girl in the Op of this thread.

    Blaming the child is inappropriate because no one -- not even the president of the USA -- can control the net. IMO, the best solution is to arrest and imprison the adult who is harrassing the child.


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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by Chelsea View Post
    Yeah I think the safest I ever was, was in a mental health facility acting as my "group home" until a foster home opened up. The rules were unfair a bit because I was there for running away not behavioral issues like most of the other kids, but I wasn't starved, beaten, or raped.
    I really hate any locked down setting for kids -- the community has to see the kids every day in order for them to be safe. Just like nursing homes, any institutional setting that houses kids will have a helluva time keeping sadists off the payroll.

    That said, almost anything would be better than paying Betty the Boozer $24,000 a year to abuse a foster child.

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by Pinkie View Post
    I really hate any locked down setting for kids -- the community has to see the kids every day in order for them to be safe. Just like nursing homes, any institutional setting that houses kids will have a helluva time keeping sadists off the payroll

    That said, almost anything would be better than paying Betty the Boozer $24,000 a year to abuse a foster child.
    And people wonder why the world is so messed up. It seems you and I have turned out fine considering our circumstances, but how many millions of kids are in the system today that will emancipate out to a life of crime and poverty. I know most of my foster sisters didn't graduate high school, much less college, and most either have kids by multiple fathers or a criminal record now.For our kids being the future there isn't alot of real concern as to their well being.

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by Chelsea View Post
    And people wonder why the world is so messed up. It seems you and I have turned out fine considering our circumstances, but how many millions of kids are in the system today that will emancipate out to a life of crime and poverty. I know most of my foster sisters didn't graduate high school, much less college, and most either have kids by multiple fathers or a criminal record now.For our kids being the future there isn't alot of real concern as to their well being.
    We don't give a rat's ass about children in this country. We care about the kids in OUR family, and occassionally, about some pretty white girl in a news story, like Jaycee Dugard, but the rest can blow themselves to Kingdom Come.

    There are about 300,000+ kids being sex trafficked today in the US, most of them natural born citizens, and we can't find the backbone or the money to rescue them and send their abusers to prison.

    I knew when I was 5 years old, we Americans are perfectly capable of throwing a child away like trash. Anyone who thinks the US is a haven for children is delusional.

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by PirateMk1 View Post
    Honestly? No. I take that back. Possible but very very unlikely. Its much more likely there is an underlying stability issue. We have all had ups and down and even contimplated it half heartedly. But when you start to take action, there is most likely a chemical imbalance, or a mental disorder at the heart of it I believe. Its one of the reasons I want better statistics so I can drill down and determine if that is in fact as I suspect it is.
    Pirate, I sent my kid an email and asked her if she could link me to the statistics you asked for. If I have not heard back from her by Sunday, I'll go see if I can find some on my own.

    I'm sorry I forgot about this all day; I think it's great that you want to know more.


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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by KevinKohler View Post
    Man, this has really gotten heated. So it seems some would protect verbal abuse as freedom of speech. Ever hear of harassment? I can't follow you around all day, yelling at you, saying means things, or threatening you, even if you are in public space. It's called harassment, and rightly so, it's illegal.
    Uhhh...yeah. That's harassment.

    Why make bullying a new crime?
    The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of Conservatives is to prevent mistakes from being corrected.
    -GK Chesterton

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