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Thread: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Wall of Text Crits for 67,000,000
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    Thus my obligatory condemnation of White supremacy will now be in every post, lest I be accused of supporting it because I didn't mention it specifically every time I post.

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    What does that mean?
    "The crisis will end when fear changes sides" - Pablo Iglesias Turrión

    "Austerity is used as a cover to reconfigure society and increase inequality and injustice." - Jeremy Corbyn

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by Andalublue View Post
    What does that mean?
    he thinks we wrote too much stuff lol

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    I was 14 when I was bullied, and if I had had to cope with it at night, if it had been amplified by the net, if I could not escape it by changing schools......who knows? Frankly, I had suicidal ideas even with just the way things were.

    I was a foster child and had no adult to protect me. There are millions of kids now like me, and even those with good parents cannot look to them to "make it stop", as no one can control the net. You think "O, I'll homeschool", and expect that will work. Well, even if you can quit your job and perform well as a teacher for your child, that will not keep the net and people with net access out of his life -- and so, your kid will be in almost as much pain as before.

    When this is one kid bullying another, with no threats of violence, I say let the schools and parents handle it. But when it's an adult bullying a child, or a gang of kids doing it, I say we need to criminalize these behaviors and start furnishing bullying victims with JUSTICE.

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by Pinkie View Post
    I was 14 when I was bullied, and if I had had to cope with it at night, if it had been amplified by the net, if I could not escape it by changing schools......who knows? Frankly, I had suicidal ideas even with just the way things were.

    I was a foster child and had no adult to protect me. There are millions of kids now like me, and even those with good parents cannot look to them to "make it stop", as no one can control the net. You think "O, I'll homeschool", and expect that will work. Well, even if you can quit your job and perform well as a teacher for your child, that will not keep the net and people with net access out of his life -- and so, your kid will be in almost as much pain as before.

    When this is one kid bullying another, with no threats of violence, I say let the schools and parents handle it. But when it's an adult bullying a child, or a gang of kids doing it, I say we need to criminalize these behaviors and start furnishing bullying victims with JUSTICE.
    Glad you made it thru it, Pinkie. Bullying can terrify and crush adolescents and young teens in very real and psychological ways. It also can be so embarassing they can't tell anyone or have no one to really tell who would or could do anything about. Whether or not foster parents, natural or adoptive, millions and millions of children do not have attentive parents and even with perfect parents there is only so much a parent can do anyway.

    Bullying should be treated very harshly by schools and authorities. It also should be addressed civilly. If a parent should have pay MILLIONS of dollars for their kid downloading pirated music, should parents be liable for the children using a computer to threaten and bully others.

    WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN is that internet companies should have the SAME civil liabilities and any other publication medium. The bizarre exemption allows anyone to anonymously post any liable, slander and threats against anyone without even a way to force that material to be removed. This is SO extreme, that is someone hide a video camera in your house making a totally illegal video of you having sex, there are websites they could annoymously put it on, email links to everyone you know they could find, and it would be essentially impossible to have the video removed or even find out who did it.

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainCourtesy View Post
    Right on target, Anda. Whatever she did, she did as a result of her turmoil. Here's a fun fact. Many rape/molestation survivors become extremely promiscuous after their rape/molestation. Why? Logic would seem to dictate that after such an act, one would avoid sexual contact... and many do. Both, what others "learned" from their experience is that their bodies were not theirs and were not worth protecting. This was all they were worth, so they keep doing it. OR, they have lots of sex in order to psychologically reestablish control over the act, a way to prove to themselves that a trauma like that could not happen again.

    This is why anyone who presented this girls promiscuity as part of her responsibility in what happened has no knowledge of mental illness.
    I actually have some personal experience with this phenomenon. When I was in my early 20's, I dated a fetish model for a few months. She was extremely open to sex with numerous people (male and female) and of course the nature of her work was inherently sexual. She had also been raised in a religious cult (literally) and had been repeatedly raped by several of the men in charge of the organization over a period of several years (when she was between the ages of 12-15; after that she ran away). It was pretty clear to me even then that she was interested in the sorts of things she was interested in - and did the sort of work that she did - as a direct outgrowth of years of systematic abuse. Obviously that's not true of all sex workers (I've known a few who really don't fit that mold at all), but in her case, it was a textbook example of what you're talking about here.

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    I agree. Someone needs to hold bullies responsible for their actions. I was also a foster child in a similar situation and know I barely survived. I actually thought the pain would kill me if I didn't kill myself first. And sometimes dying may be a natural reaction to what someone is going through.
    Quote Originally Posted by Pinkie View Post
    I was 14 when I was bullied, and if I had had to cope with it at night, if it had been amplified by the net, if I could not escape it by changing schools......who knows? Frankly, I had suicidal ideas even with just the way things were.

    I was a foster child and had no adult to protect me. There are millions of kids now like me, and even those with good parents cannot look to them to "make it stop", as no one can control the net. You think "O, I'll homeschool", and expect that will work. Well, even if you can quit your job and perform well as a teacher for your child, that will not keep the net and people with net access out of his life -- and so, your kid will be in almost as much pain as before.

    When this is one kid bullying another, with no threats of violence, I say let the schools and parents handle it. But when it's an adult bullying a child, or a gang of kids doing it, I say we need to criminalize these behaviors and start furnishing bullying victims with JUSTICE.

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by joko104 View Post
    Glad you made it thru it, Pinkie. Bullying can terrify and crush adolescents and young teens in very real and psychological ways. It also can be so embarassing they can't tell anyone or have no one to really tell who would or could do anything about. Whether or not foster parents, natural or adoptive, millions and millions of children do not have attentive parents and even with perfect parents there is only so much a parent can do anyway.

    Bullying should be treated very harshly by schools and authorities. It also should be addressed civilly. If a parent should have pay MILLIONS of dollars for their kid downloading pirated music, should parents be liable for the children using a computer to threaten and bully others.

    WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN is that internet companies should have the SAME civil liabilities and any other publication medium. The bizarre exemption allows anyone to anonymously post any liable, slander and threats against anyone without even a way to force that material to be removed. This is SO extreme, that is someone hide a video camera in your house making a totally illegal video of you having sex, there are websites they could annoymously put it on, email links to everyone you know they could find, and it would be essentially impossible to have the video removed or even find out who did it.
    I'm just not a huge fan of creating new civil remedies -- I'm not opposed to it, of course, but these behaviors seem criminal to me, and crime is better deterred by a prison sentence than a lawsuit. If the first priority is to stop the behavior and protect the child, a lawsuit is a poor substitute for an arrest.

    That said, these social networking sites that allow kids on -- facebook will allow a kid as young as 13 to join -- in my mind owe a duty to the children they attract, to protect them. We all know they don't -- none of the major social networking sites will ban a member for harrassment. The owners of these companies need to feel it in the pocketbook when they design staffing and coding plans that create an unreasonable risk.

    But for me, the bottom line is, these predatory adults should be sent to prison.

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by Chelsea View Post
    I agree. Someone needs to hold bullies responsible for their actions. I was also a foster child in a similar situation and know I barely survived. I actually thought the pain would kill me if I didn't kill myself first. And sometimes dying may be a natural reaction to what someone is going through.
    My pain was not wall to wall, and I could make it stop -- I ran away, and when I turned up again, they moved me to a new foster home, which necessitated a change in schools. I knew that would happen and it was the only reason I ran away.

    I ran away 11 times in 4 years; once to avoiding bullying at school, 10 times to escape a foster father who wanted to commit all manner of sex crimes on me. It's a nine days' wonder I wasn't harmed whilst on the street; I'd usually stay away 3 or 4 days, and I spent those nights between parked cars, to stay warm. As problem-solving techniques go, running away from home sucks, but it did work -- I made it to 18 with a HS diploma and no one had harmed me.

    Now, sad as all that is, obviously the average kid is not in foster care. BUT -- you parents need to realize that you cannot control what is said to your child or about your child on the net, and that without support for new criminal laws, people with bad intentions can do almost anything they want to YOUR kid.

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    Re: The bullies win again[W710; 739]

    Quote Originally Posted by Aderleth View Post
    I actually have some personal experience with this phenomenon. When I was in my early 20's, I dated a fetish model for a few months. She was extremely open to sex with numerous people (male and female) and of course the nature of her work was inherently sexual. She had also been raised in a religious cult (literally) and had been repeatedly raped by several of the men in charge of the organization over a period of several years (when she was between the ages of 12-15; after that she ran away). It was pretty clear to me even then that she was interested in the sorts of things she was interested in - and did the sort of work that she did - as a direct outgrowth of years of systematic abuse. Obviously that's not true of all sex workers (I've known a few who really don't fit that mold at all), but in her case, it was a textbook example of what you're talking about here.
    When a child is sexually abused, the brain wiring is changed. The degree of the change is dependent on how severe the abuse was and what the aftermath was -- but kids who've suffered long term incest etc. need tremendous help as adults to reorder their entire lives, most especially their sex lives.

    I think it's almost like murder: if the kid is very young and the abuse is unrelenting, it's entirely possible to watch that kid disappear. One foster father I had was abusing his own bio 4 year old daughter, who in turn was constantly trying to murder her 2 year old brother. I told the social worker -- but believing me was out of the question. I think about those kids a lot, even now.

    Like the victims of the sex abuse by nuns I lived with in the orphanage, I'd be shocked to learn they had survived even to age 18.

    I can marshal enough rage to light up NYC if I dwell on this, and remaining passive in the face of a new threat to kids is completely out of the question for me.

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