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The bullies win again[W710; 739]

You think all of that could have come just out of this series of encounters over the internet in an otherwise healthy girl? I think that's pretty unlikely, but I'll stipulate that I'm working with a severe deficit of facts, and I could be badly off target.

She may have had some underlying mental illness, IDK. However, this girl experienced far more than "a series of encounters on the internet". Her classmates were involved in helping the predator taunt her. She had real life bleeding into online, and online bleeding into real life -- and this means, she had no peace, no safety, and no respite.

If this adult predator had been sexually assaulting her, she would have had some safety and relief when she wasn't physically in his presence -- but the fact that he was mentally torturing her made this 24/7/365.

Yes, I do think a healthy child can be driven to suicide by such abuse and I think it's the kids who are already disturbed who are most likely to be selected by an online predator.


The problem with hospitalization is probably not funding but the strict requirements that have to be met to confine someone involuntarily. Even though she was a minor professionals are very sensitive to issues of patient autonomy these days.

Well, the child need not consent, but her parents sure must, you're right about that.

I was thinking of the various tragedies, like Andrea Yates, where profoundly disturbed people are sent home by mental hospitals because their insurance coverage has been exhausted.
 
Your ignorance is astounding, and what the payoff could possibly be for posing as an asshole on this subject escapes me.

Welcome to my iggy bin.

The payoff is preserving the freedom of speech, instead of using emotion to push an agenda run by special interest groups. Let's outlaw bullying, make it illegal because we don't like it. Then we decide that since we can outlaw bullying, we can outlaw "hate speech" about Muhammad because it makes middle eastern Muslims riot and murder people. Then let's outlaw any disparaging words against Christianity, or Congress, or anything else, because some overly sensitive person who was obviously mentally ill killed themselves.
 
I have said it before, the solution is simple.

Make everything that is illegal for an adult to do, illegal (to the same degree) for a teenager to do - and with the exact same penalties. Like assault, blackmail, threats of violence, extortion, fraud, etc..

Also, encourage students who are slandered and defamed by persons in public to take them to court if the allegations are serious enough (like flat out lying about people on the net by identifiable persons).

I am sick an tired of people treating teenagers as children - they are not. They can have sex, be parents, work jobs, fight in wars (illegally), get married, commit murder and drive cars.

If they illegally assault another student, they should be under the same laws and penalties as 'adults' are.


As for 'bullying' in ways that do not fall under any of the above - I am afraid there is little that could be done without starting to restrict free speech.

You cannot outlaw 'name calling' - accept in the 'defamation of character/slander' sort of way. But that should be a civil, not a criminal matter.
 
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I have said it before, the solution is simple.

Make everything that is illegal for an adult to do, illegal (to the same degree) for a teenager to do - and with the exact same penalties. Like assault, blackmail, threats of violence, extortion, fraud, etc..

Also, encourage students who are slandered and defamed by persons in public to take them to court if the allegations are serious enough (like flat out lying about people on the net by identifiable persons).

I am sick an tired of people treating teenagers as children - they are not. They can have sex, be parents, work jobs, fight in wars (illegally), get married, commit murder and drive cars.

If they illegally assault another student, they should be under the same laws and penalties as 'adults' are.


As for 'bullying' in ways that do not fall under any of the above - I am afraid there is little that could be done without starting to restrict free speech.

You cannot outlaw 'name calling' - accept in the 'defamation of character/slander' sort of way. But that should be a civil, not a criminal matter.

Everything an adult can do that is a crime, is also a crime when a child does it. Although there's some variation among states, the "age of intent" to commit a criminal act hovers between 5 and 7. If a 7 year old committed blackmail, that 7 year old could be prosecuted and imprisoned, although most likely as a juvenile justice matter.

The problem isn't that teenagers enjoy some immunity that adults do not. The problem is that (last I knew) crimes such as stalking, harrassment, etc. contemplate real life interactions that place a victim in reasonable fear of actual, physical harm. We still do not have a federal law that criminalizes "bullying" on the net, not even when the perpetrator is an adult and the victim is an avowed child.

As far as I know, no state has such a law, either.

This is not because our lawmakers are uncaring; it goes back to Pirate's concerns. How would bullying be penalized? What speech would be legal and which a crime? Could we still tell one another to STFU?

We value of freedom of speech in this country and we have a social contract that we can all speak like assholes as long as the topic is in some way political -- we even expect our elected officials to talk like assholes. In this bruising but vigorous environment, how do we select out just that speech that may drive a child to suicide and criminalize only that, without burdening or chilling all other noisome speech?
 
Everything an adult can do that is a crime, is also a crime when a child does it. Although there's some variation among states, the "age of intent" to commit a criminal act hovers between 5 and 7. If a 7 year old committed blackmail, that 7 year old could be prosecuted and imprisoned, although most likely as a juvenile justice matter.

The problem isn't that teenagers enjoy some immunity that adults do not. The problem is that (last I knew) crimes such as stalking, harrassment, etc. contemplate real life interactions that place a victim in reasonable fear of actual, physical harm. We still do not have a federal law that criminalizes "bullying" on the net, not even when the perpetrator is an adult and the victim is an avowed child.

As far as I know, no state has such a law, either.

This is not because our lawmakers are uncaring; it goes back to Pirate's concerns. How would bullying be penalized? What speech would be legal and which a crime? Could we still tell one another to STFU?

We value of freedom of speech in this country and we have a social contract that we can all speak like assholes as long as the topic is in some way political -- we even expect our elected officials to talk like assholes. In this bruising but vigorous environment, how do we select out just that speech that may drive a child to suicide and criminalize only that, without burdening or chilling all other noisome speech?


The law in schools/between teenagers is definitely different then the law among adults, imo.

Law enforcement is simply not called into most teenaged, non-life threatening, law breaking situations. These maters are usually handled 'internally' or 'kept between peers'.

Most adults simply do not take these actions as seriously from teenagers as from adults.


As for the net, the laws should be the same.

You cannot extort, threaten, defame/slander, etc..
 
If Juvy/Jail time isn't reasonable, I'd like to see bullies stripped of any grant money/scholarships, and also see them expelled. If you can't not be a bully, then your future should take some damage. To me that seems lke an excellent middleground instead of sending them to Juvy or not doing enough.
 
The law in schools/between teenagers is definitely different then the law among adults, imo.

Law enforcement is simply not called into most teenaged, non-life threatening, law breaking situations. These maters are usually handled 'internally' or 'kept between peers'.

Most adults simply do not take these actions as seriously from teenagers as from adults.


As for the net, the laws should be the same.

You cannot extort, threaten, defame/slander, etc..

No, you cannot -- but all these laws contemplate a threat which would place a reasonable person of similar circumstances in fear. If you know I'm on the other side of the country, and I threaten to break your legs, that isn't going to be a criminal act without some fact tending to show I'm mobile.

And what's worse, from a law enforcement standpoint, is the humiliation-style campaign of terror. Writing "why don't you just kill yourself" isn't a crime under almost all existing law, no matter how devastating the words may be to the reader.
 
Why the **** did her parents allow her to stay on Facebook? Why did she choose to stay on Facebook? Why did nobody document those posts and report them to the police?

A lot of people failed here.

Bullying is horrid, disgusting, lowbrow behavior. But this girl would still be alive DESPITE the bullying if her damned parents had actually made a serious effort to pull her away from the bullying.

After watching the whole video it seems her depression stemmed from the fact that people did not like her for whatever reason.

Why didn't her parents tell her that it didn't matter if anybody liked her or not, she was in school to get an education.

I understand teenage girls and their need to be liked and be in groups, but to make that THE most important thing in her life was a failing of her parents.

School is a temporary stop on the road of life and in the scheme of things has very little meaning, which needs to be taught to kids.
 
somehow i feel this would be sinking to the bullies level i mean if you honestly believe for one second they actual thought she would kill her self then you MIGHT be validated but i don't see how they could actual see the full effect of what they were doing tell it was too late. kids and teens can be some of the cruelest people out there because of the simple fact that they cannot fully realize the consequences of there actions. The people who should bear the weight of responsibility should be the many adults surrounding the situation and failed to prevent it.

Did you see inthe video where after she drank the bleach, the bullies posted bottles of bleach on her facebook page and said try another brand and they hope it kills her this time? The bullies were telling her they whoped she would die in one way or another.

Yes they knew what they were saying and suicide is a forseeable outcome.
 
I'm sorry, but you're as cold-hearted a poster as I've ever seen on this board. I'm assuming you didn't take the 8:55 it took to watch the video.

This young girl was failed by her parents. Big-BIG-time. She's dead. She shouldn't be. She should be having fun . . . going to parties . . . having sleepovers with her girlfriends. Fixing her nails. Doing her hair. Instead she's dead.

Have a nice day.

Edit: I just posted this on my Facebook site. Maybe it'll save a life. PARENTS!!! Wake the **** up!!!

I agree with you, MaggieD. I was appalled by how callous Patrickt's post is. This young girls was harassed and assaulted to the point where she saw no way out. It makes me sick that some people turn a blind eye toward this kind of cruelty. The only thing I disagree with you in on the parents. I cut them some slack because they did try to help her. They moved twice in attempts to get her away from her tormentors.

To anyone who has a "well, tough" attitude instead of showing this girl compassion, shame on you.
 
Love the hateful and incredibly stupid responses. Amazingly, liberals hate bullies unless they're their bullies. How's Dan Savage doing, guys, and VP Joe Biden?...

You're a disgusting and sick bigot. Dan Savage and Joe Biden are irrelevant to this. They did not torment a young girl to suicide. They also don't have the sick and evil attitude that you have -- that she deserved to die because it was by her own hand. She suicided out of being tortured.
 
im not really sure if this is the proper place for this, but since it's the topic of bullying, i guess it's ok to place it here.


This is a very tragic story of a girl that commited suicide because of bullying. Yes, she made some big mistakes, but these mistakes do not make it ok to bully.

This is the video that she post prior to killing herself. very sad.

This needs to stop!


in 3...2...1.... here comes the pro-bully posts

Ok, so let me get this straight. the girl posted her boobs to people she did not know. Then her past actions came back to haunt her. She couldn't deal with the consequences of exposing herself willingly to the world. So she kills herself? Is this pretty much the summary of the story?

First rule of the internet. if you don't want to see it on the front page of the newspaper or on the news don't put it on the internet. It is a simple rule told to me in 1993 in my intro to the internet class. This was before texting, blogs, facebook, and even AOL on the real internet.

I am going to tell you a little fact of life. Some kids do stupid things and don't live to tell about it. From them the rest of us hopefully learn not to do those stupid things. Sorry her life sucked, but if you are really worried about it stop whining at the bullies and start showing this **** to young girls who think it is cool to put their boobs on youtube. People posting nude pics of idiots is never going to change. You cannot stop it, or the embarassment from doing it. What you can do is to show the consequences to young girls and tell them this is what you get to go through with the dumbasses of the world so keep your damned shirt on. Don't be the lesson, learn from it.

As for her, she is a dumbass with really weak friends. All your friends left you because you had pictures of your boobies on facebook? Little news flash, they were not your friends to begin with. Sortry you pick ****ty friends and people ran away from you for a stupid reason. life was too hard for her anyway, she made the right choice. The world is not going to soften up to accomodate her problems so quitting was probably the best idea for her. if your boobs on the internet are the worst thing that every happens to you then consider yourself blessed.

You can call me as cruel as you want. i have spent from the moments I can first remember knowing i am transgendered, and knowing the world wasn't going to give me a chance because of it. yes, i knew every damned friend i had in high school would have left me had i came out. I built a great career and had it all come crashing down because someone found out i was in drag on weekends. I did not have a choice not to flash the internet. So I don't want to hear about her little small problems because guys like looking at her boobies. Get some better friends, stop living in otyher people's opinions, and learn to respect yourself. Also get a helmet because no one guarantees you a life without pain. Oh, and quit blaming others because you cannot take it. no one killed her, she killed herself. If someone killed her for showing her boobies i would be right there with you, but she killed herself.
 
I agree with you, MaggieD. I was appalled by how callous Patrickt's post is. This young girls was harassed and assaulted to the point where she saw no way out. It makes me sick that some people turn a blind eye toward this kind of cruelty. The only thing I disagree with you in on the parents. I cut them some slack because they did try to help her. They moved twice in attempts to get her away from her tormentors.

To anyone who has a "well, tough" attitude instead of showing this girl compassion, shame on you.

What do you want people to do? Do you want them to stop boobie pictures on the internet, never going to happen. Do you want them to stop bullies? good luck with that one, but that seems to be a fact of human existence.

First off, she kept going back online to social groups and probably lead the person right to her. no offense it is not hard to keep up some internet anonymity. This sort of person is going to have problems all her life since she cannot keep her **** secret. her boobs would have been the least of her concerns as people started to steal her identity. This is not an elementary school playground and people need to start realizing that. This is a world with people and consequences. no, none of us can take those away even if we wanted to.

There is a tree around where i grew up and every few years some HS students screw up, don't make the turn and hit that tree killing all of them every time. You could cut down the tree and they would just die in the ditch behind it or on some other curve. Kids are stupid, they make mistakes, and some of them are fatal or really embarassing. you are not going to fix that problem. I am not going to go to her funeral and piss on her casket, but get a grip. the world does not have to stop, nor will it, for every dumb ass kid who dies.

If you want to stop it worry about changing the path of the victim. The bullies are not going away no matter how often you whine at them. in many cases they will probably just laugh at all of this. Instead start trying to teach kids not to get nude on the internet. It is just as futile as you are always going to have stupid kids, but you might help a smart one from making a mistake. Oh, and the best way to stop bullies is to stop people from caring about the opinions of unimportant assholes. I have heard every insult there is in this world, and a long time ago it may have actually gotten to me when i cared about other people's opinions. Now i really don't need you to like me. Do or don't, but if you are going to run away from me because someone else made an insult then do us all a favor and keep the **** out of my life to begin with.

you start telling kid false things about the world and you wonder why they feel let down and despondent. the world is a really great happy place where everyone will like you if you are yourself. Seriously some kids actually buy that bull. then you wonder why they get depressed when they realize they are living in a place with a lot of ****ty people they cannot avoid. Stop telling kids fairy tales. look at how ****ed up you make things when you tell girls that true love exists and then they blame themselves when they meet ****ty guys. Stop lying to kids and maybe they might just learn how to deal with things before they crash down on their heads.
 
What do you want people to do? Do you want them to stop boobie pictures on the internet, never going to happen. Do you want them to stop bullies? ..... the world is a really great happy place where everyone will like you if you are yourself. Seriously some kids actually buy that bull. then you wonder why they get depressed when they realize they are living in a place with a lot of ****ty people they cannot avoid. Stop telling kids fairy tales. look at how ****ed up you make things when you tell girls that true love exists and then they blame themselves when they meet ****ty guys. Stop lying to kids and maybe they might just learn how to deal with things before they crash down on their heads.

Did she make a mistake by flashing her boobs on the Internet? Yes, definitely. Did she deserve to be harassed and hated over that? No way! All the harassment did not happen on the Internet. Much of it was in real life and it included physical assault. Her parents moved her to different locations twice to try to escape this treatment, but it continued. I know at one point she quit using Facebook. I don't know whether it was before or after she moved the last time. If she quit using it before she moved, then she was stalked down anyway.

I guess I can agree with you that we should warn kids about sexting, and I don't believe those fairy tales either. But we should protect them from hateful bullies too. With perfect 20/20 hindsight, I can say if I had been her parent, I would have taken her out of school entirely and home schooled her. We may not be able to guarantee that there will never be bullies, but those that we catch should have to suffer serious consequences.

And weren't you disgusted with the person who had the attitude of, "She did it to herself"? She made some mistakes, but she didn't deserve the treatment she got.
 
Did she make a mistake by flashing her boobs on the Internet? Yes, definitely. Did she deserve to be harassed and hated over that? No way!

I will say deserved may or may not be, but she damn well better have expected it. that is what we need to let kids know, is that you can expect stuff like this when you post boobies on the internet.
All the harassment did not happen on the Internet. Much of it was in real life and it included physical assault. Her parents moved her to different locations twice to try to escape this treatment, but it continued. I know at one point she quit using Facebook. I don't know whether it was before or after she moved the last time. If she quit using it before she moved, then she was stalked down anyway.

I made it through half the story. It is too slow and the signs were bothering me. I am no grammar Nazi, but when it is getting to me you are really screwing up. So if you want fill me in on what i missed. Yeah, she was stalked, and there are ways to get around that. But here is the problem she kept going back to the internet for support. That is a bad thing. The only people on the internet who help are a bunch of wanabe dogooders who will only give words of support. I have seen way too many people rely on online friendships and relationships only to be dissapointed when they blow up in their face. We really have to start teaching people not to go to the internet for support or help. The people there are useless.

I will tell you I am a troll. I dealt with this whiner who was easily butthurt. I blasted the crap out of him, and then he went to his friends online. every one of the POS's were emailing me that i was right that he was a crybaby and that they were sick of him, and who is the dick? I am not pretending to be the guys friend and then talking trash about him to the person insulting him. I would love to say it was one time, but I have been around for decades now and this is what people are like online. I really don't know who is worse, the bullies or the backstabbing drama queens. All I do know is people who get caught up in it get a nasty lesson about friendship.

I will say that the kids i know and i am in the lives of i will try and help to keep their online life safe and to give them a sense of levity about it.

I guess I can agree with you that we should warn kids about sexting, and I don't believe those fairy tales either. But we should protect them from hateful bullies too. With perfect 20/20 hindsight, I can say if I had been her parent, I would have taken her out of school entirely and home schooled her. We may not be able to guarantee that there will never be bullies, but those that we catch should have to suffer serious consequences.

i am not saying we should not try and stop the serious stalkers who interfere with people's real lives. However, we need to do it right because when we do it wrong it will be used against the people it is there to protect. It is not hard to troll a riled up person to make threats and incriminate themselves. Then you give the bully fuel to use against them. the best way i see to reduce damage from this is focussing on the hurt people and making them stronger and giving them better ways to find their self worth than looking to online approval. I am trans, and because of that i am a hardcase and you can't insult me. Tomorrow the headlines of the wallstreet journal could real tererun is a jackass, and I would laugh at the hate. my friends would still be my friends. If they werent then so be it. I am not saying we need to make every person as cold and aloof as I am, but we need to bring them somewhere down this path to knowing your own self worth and being able to shrug off a few insults.
And weren't you disgusted with the person who had the attitude of, "She did it to herself"? She made some mistakes, but she didn't deserve the treatment she got.

I am not disgusted by that idea. I think it is something that should be used to educate weaker kids as to the dangers of the internet and to try to help them to come out of that sort of attitude. One of the best ways to stop a bully is to stop them from taking from you. Though running away seems like a good idea, it actually fuels the bully's ego. That bully hit her so hard with his taunts that she had to move. That is fuel for the bully. When I jump on someone and they run i like it.

you also have to ask why. not everyone is bullied. Certain people have a certain way of behaving that seems to attract abuse. I know it sounds like blaming the victim because you should not abuse, but if you can get out of that pattern you can turn things around. this is coming from a person who was a victim of bullying. I look at somje of my behaviors and actions and it is hard to remember what exactly happened way back then, but I did fall into the desired outcome with the bullies. that sort of behavior can be corrected and changed, and I think it is a negative behavior that results in poor treatment of the person all around. It would be good for that person to find better ways of expressing themselves because it will help them later in life and in areas that are not about bullying.
 
Ok, so let me get this straight. the girl posted her boobs to people she did not know. Then her past actions came back to haunt her. She couldn't deal with the consequences of exposing herself willingly to the world. So she kills herself? Is this pretty much the summary of the story?

First rule of the internet. if you don't want to see it on the front page of the newspaper or on the news don't put it on the internet. It is a simple rule told to me in 1993 in my intro to the internet class. This was before texting, blogs, facebook, and even AOL on the real internet.

I am going to tell you a little fact of life. Some kids do stupid things and don't live to tell about it. From them the rest of us hopefully learn not to do those stupid things. Sorry her life sucked, but if you are really worried about it stop whining at the bullies and start showing this **** to young girls who think it is cool to put their boobs on youtube. People posting nude pics of idiots is never going to change. You cannot stop it, or the embarassment from doing it. What you can do is to show the consequences to young girls and tell them this is what you get to go through with the dumbasses of the world so keep your damned shirt on. Don't be the lesson, learn from it.

As for her, she is a dumbass with really weak friends. All your friends left you because you had pictures of your boobies on facebook? Little news flash, they were not your friends to begin with. Sortry you pick ****ty friends and people ran away from you for a stupid reason. life was too hard for her anyway, she made the right choice. The world is not going to soften up to accomodate her problems so quitting was probably the best idea for her. if your boobs on the internet are the worst thing that every happens to you then consider yourself blessed.

You can call me as cruel as you want. i have spent from the moments I can first remember knowing i am transgendered, and knowing the world wasn't going to give me a chance because of it. yes, i knew every damned friend i had in high school would have left me had i came out. I built a great career and had it all come crashing down because someone found out i was in drag on weekends. I did not have a choice not to flash the internet. So I don't want to hear about her little small problems because guys like looking at her boobies. Get some better friends, stop living in otyher people's opinions, and learn to respect yourself. Also get a helmet because no one guarantees you a life without pain. Oh, and quit blaming others because you cannot take it. no one killed her, she killed herself. If someone killed her for showing her boobies i would be right there with you, but she killed herself.


Yep, another "compassionate conservative".
this is standard for your types.
 
Yep, another "compassionate conservative".
this is standard for your types.

With all due respect to tererun, he's not a conservative. In truth it is rare to see a transgendered person (progressive/liberal?) not ardently supporting/defending Amanda Todd. Again that is not meant as an insult.

The issue itself is difficult, because it's very emotional... What is the rational thing to believe here? What is the morally right thing? Or, what is the emotionally "correct" recourse?

Regardless her death is a tragedy and her tormentors ought to be punished to some extent.
 
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