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brutal suicide in near my home: woman jumps out of SUV on I-75 in Cincinnati area

CaptainCourtesy said:
And that's another aspect of perfectionism and expectations. People SHOULD be nice around the holidays... but they're not. Things SHOULD be easy... but they're not. We SHOULD be able to get all of the presents that we need. These "SHOULDS" are what do us in. "Should" is another one of those "bad" words that I try to avoid and always confront in my practice. "Should" is not reality, but people often act like it is... and when our reality doesn't live up to our "should" reality, we often get depressed and/or feel like we failed or aren't good enough in some way.
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My family doesn't celebrate Christmas every year, but it's still hard to avoid the stress. The time of year can be frustrating despite not even celebrating it, and that can really irritate me at times and I know I have anger issues which is why I am on dp... lol. I have never actually went off on anybody in public though... but like you said, nobody is friendly or pleasant during the holidays when they are rushing around the stores and thinking of themselves and their families. I guess it would be different if everybody was smiling and being exceptionally polite to one another. I read about a town somewhere, and the mayor made it a point to celebrate being friendly and and hugging people. They said people in the town were less stressful and attitudes improved as a result... it makes sense to me.
 
SheWolf said:
My family doesn't celebrate Christmas every year, but it's still hard to avoid the stress. The time of year can be frustrating despite not even celebrating it, and that can really irritate me at times and I know I have anger issues which is why I am on dp... lol. I have never actually went off on anybody in public though... but like you said, nobody is friendly or pleasant during the holidays when they are rushing around the stores and thinking of themselves and their families. I guess it would be different if everybody was smiling and being exceptionally polite to one another. I read about a town somewhere, and the mayor made it a point to celebrate being friendly and and hugging people. They said people in the town were less stressful and attitudes improved as a result... it makes sense to me.
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There's a lot to that, people create their own stress trying to fight the holiday traffic to save every last penny and forget civility which leads to stress. Nobody wants to be treated like crap and especially during a time that is supposed to be happy. I think if people would remember that we should be especially kind this time of year things would be better.
 
LaMidRighter said:
I used to date a girl in college who told me her dad tried that when she was driving, she pulled over and talked to him for a bit until he snapped out of it. Sounds like this person just made up her mind and did it. Really sad story and probably could have been avoided if she had just talked to somebody.
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I know what you're saying. It seems like a split second decision to me too, and I wonder if she was under the influence of something. Depressed and suicidal are one thing, but to kill yourself because you see a situation as a way to suddenly end your life seems like a random, split second reaction with little thinking or planning behind it. I could be entirely wrong, but that's how it appears to me. I think that some severely depressed people spend a lot of time planning out their death... writing a will, saying good bye, etc. and others make a decision in the heat of the moment. Her kids were with her. It just seems sudden and unplanned... and I think that's really really sad. It makes me wonder if something really bad happened to her that day or a few minutes before.
 
LaMidRighter said:
There's a lot to that, people create their own stress trying to fight the holiday traffic to save every last penny and forget civility which leads to stress. Nobody wants to be treated like crap and especially during a time that is supposed to be happy. I think if people would remember that we should be especially kind this time of year things would be better.
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This is why I boycott Christmas every year, never purchase gifts for anyone and request that no on purchase gifts for me. If someone wants to "gift" me, donate money to charity or choose to spend the day doing something with me. Those are the "gifts" I give other people.
 
I don't think of it as selfish at all. Nor are they even thinking about how it affects others. People who go to this extreme are in pain..physically or mentally. For them, it's a release.
 
CaptainCourtesy said:
This is why I boycott Christmas every year, never purchase gifts for anyone and request that no on purchase gifts for me. If someone wants to "gift" me, donate money to charity or choose to spend the day doing something with me. Those are the "gifts" I give other people.
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Yep, fortunately even though I have many friends we all pretty much leave giving to family situations. We usually hang out somewhere during the holidays and watch a bowl game and trade rounds, years ago I rebuilt a Zippo I found and my best friend had always wanted one but didn't want to spend the money. I gave him the lighter and told him it was an in the moment gift for a good friend which meant more to him than if I'd bought him something.
 
Enola said:
I don't think of it as selfish at all. Nor are they even thinking about how it affects others. People who go to this extreme are in pain..physically or mentally. For them, it's a release.
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This is accurate. It may SEEM selfish to the outsider, but imagine the pain that one must be in to choose to end their life, ignore all survival instincts, and to knowingly leave and hurt those they care about. Someone in this state of mind isn't thinking about others... or themselves. All they are thinking is that not being around is better/less painful than existence.
 
LaMidRighter said:
Yep, fortunately even though I have many friends we all pretty much leave giving to family situations. We usually hang out somewhere during the holidays and watch a bowl game and trade rounds, years ago I rebuilt a Zippo I found and my best friend had always wanted one but didn't want to spend the money. I gave him the lighter and told him it was an in the moment gift for a good friend which meant more to him than if I'd bought him something.
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Best gift I EVER gave a friend was something that I got completely for free. Long story. He always said he wanted to be buried with it. When he died, it was too big to fit in his coffin. I just know that the pleasure he got from receiving it was better than any purchased gift he ever got.
 
CaptainCourtesy said:
Best gift I EVER gave a friend was something that I got completely for free. Long story. He always said he wanted to be buried with it. When he died, it was too big to fit in his coffin. I just know that the pleasure he got from receiving it was better than any purchased gift he ever got.
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Honestly a gift tells someone you care, or that's what it's supposed to mean anyway. It's stressful and meaningless if the gifts are obligatory.
 
LaMidRighter said:
Honestly a gift tells someone you care, or that's what it's supposed to mean anyway. It's stressful and meaningless if the gifts are obligatory.
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That's why I hate so much the "this is my Christmas list" mentality. No. Un-uh. No Christmas list. You can give me ideas, but gifts that I buy my family and friends are gifts that I choose - from the heart. Things that I think they would like. I guess that's why I get my feelings hurt so easily when someone doesn't necessarily care for a gift that I buy them. It doesn't happen that often - happened alot with my stepson. He'd open a gift, look at me and his Dad and go, "Why the heck did you buy me THIS? I'm not going to use THIS." and he'd throw it back in the packaging. That used to hurt, then I found out that the kid is just a freaking nutcase and then it didn't bother me anymore.
 
Enola said:
I don't think of it as selfish at all. Nor are they even thinking about how it affects others. People who go to this extreme are in pain..physically or mentally. For them, it's a release.
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I do understand that. I do. I've been through some reeeeeeally rough spots in my life, but never once have I ever contemplated suicide. It's a religious thing with me. That being said, for all the pain that they are going through, why not talk to someone? A spouse? A parent? Someone in the clergy? If there's no one there, how about a suicide hotline? They are open 24 hours a day.

As was mentioned earlier, I feel terribly sorry for people who are end-stage who take their own life. People like that, I don't begrudge their decision in the least. People like this woman? I still stand my original statement that she is selfish. So she was in pain. Alot of people are in pain, and they take the time to seek someone out to help them. All this woman did is ruin the lives of her children. That's why I say she was selfish. The lives of those children are ruined forever. This is something they'll see for the rest of their lives. All because she couldn't pick up a phone and ask for help.
 
Superfly said:
I do understand that. I do. I've been through some reeeeeeally rough spots in my life, but never once have I ever contemplated suicide. It's a religious thing with me. That being said, for all the pain that they are going through, why not talk to someone? A spouse? A parent? Someone in the clergy? If there's no one there, how about a suicide hotline? They are open 24 hours a day.

As was mentioned earlier, I feel terribly sorry for people who are end-stage who take their own life. People like that, I don't begrudge their decision in the least. People like this woman? I still stand my original statement that she is selfish. So she was in pain. Alot of people are in pain, and they take the time to seek someone out to help them. All this woman did is ruin the lives of her children. That's why I say she was selfish. The lives of those children are ruined forever. This is something they'll see for the rest of their lives. All because she couldn't pick up a phone and ask for help.
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Bolded statement screams, "I don't understand (or believe in) mental illness." Educate yourself.
 
True - their lives have taken a very different and tragic turn. . . but that doesn't mean she hated them. The love of your children doesn't mean your life is tolerable in your mind. It's highly likely she felt they'd be better off without her. . . who knows what she was thinking. Countless possibilities - I'd look more at her relationship with her husband, though - not the children.
 
SheWolf said:
I have seen news stories of people unbuckling and jumping out of a car to escape something bad happening inside the vehicle. It's just a strange way to kill yourself... If she did kill herself in that fashion, it is very, very sad. It seems like a split second decision, because when people spent time considering suicide, they probably don't think of jumping out of a car as the way to go. I have heard that most women OD on pills, and men, I believe, typically kill themselves with a gun. Suicide is so horrible. I feel bad for those children and husband.
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i feel bad for them as well, and women don't usually kill themselves in violent ways. she must have been pretty disturbed.
 
MaggieD said:
Bolded statement screams, "I don't understand (or believe in) mental illness." Educate yourself.
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That's pretty harsh. Sometimes, suicide is selfish, and sometimes, it's an act of cowardice. It's not always because of mental illness (unless, of course, you believe that, by definition, anybody who kills him/herself is "crazy").
 
nota bene said:
That's pretty harsh. Sometimes, suicide is selfish, and sometimes, it's an act of cowardice. It's not always because of mental illness (unless, of course, you believe that, by definition, anybody who kills him/herself is "crazy").
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Why do we need to judge suicide as an act? It's perceived differently in different cultures. Some cultures consider suicide heroic and an honorable act in some situations. Some people think they are ridding their friends and family of a burden. It difficult to judge suicidal people, especially if they didn't leave a letter or give a reason. The only that is certain is this woman took her life in a very violent way and she must have been very mentally disturbed.
 
I think people exhaust theirselves over suicide becaues they're trying - way too hard - to understand it.

Why does suicide HAVE to make sense or be worked into a 'reasonable mind-set' view?

Why can't suicide be senseless and purposeless? Why can't it just be thoughtless?

Sometimes there is absolutely no conjugated and formed thought about it. It just seems like a good idea. Wouldn't surprise me if she didn't sit there stewing over it at all or was in an emotional stew of voided hate or something - instead - maybe she just did it quite spontaneously.
 
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SheWolf said:
Why do we need to judge suicide as an act? It's perceived differently in different cultures. Some cultures consider suicide heroic and an honorable act in some situations. Some people think they are ridding their friends and family of a burden. It difficult to judge suicidal people, especially if they didn't leave a letter or give a reason. The only that is certain is this woman took her life in a very violent way and she must have been very mentally disturbed.
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And now she's left a couple of kids who are going to be mentally disturbed. It's like a domino effect. She's probably destroyed several lives by what she did. If she's truly mentally disturbed, I feel sorry for her, but where was her family? Did this truly go unnoticed by everyone?
 
Superfly said:
And now she's left a couple of kids who are going to be mentally disturbed. It's like a domino effect. She's probably destroyed several lives by what she did. If she's truly mentally disturbed, I feel sorry for her, but where was her family? Did this truly go unnoticed by everyone?
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Not to mention the trauma she inflicted on the people who witnessed her jump into 55 MPH traffic. I feel really sorry for the person(s) whose autos struck and killed her through no fault of their own.

Its like people who commit suicide by cop. I have met a few LEO's pushed into that situation and its hard on them
 
CaptainCourtesy said:
This is why I boycott Christmas every year, never purchase gifts for anyone and request that no on purchase gifts for me. If someone wants to "gift" me, donate money to charity or choose to spend the day doing something with me. Those are the "gifts" I give other people.
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Aren't you Jewish?
 
MaggieD said:
Bolded statement screams, "I don't understand (or believe in) mental illness." Educate yourself.
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So does the post where she calls her stepson a nutcase. Just sayin..
 
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liblady said:
i feel bad for them as well, and women don't usually kill themselves in violent ways. she must have been pretty disturbed.
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Or he killed her!
 
Kali said:
So does the post where she calls her stepson a nutcase. Just sayin..
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I have often called one of my siblings bat-**** crazy because she is. Doesn't mean that I don't understand mental illness. Trust me, I do. Ya, some people are "nutcases," and sorry if that offends any delicate sensibilities exquisitely fine-tuned on the political correctness dial.

There are many reasons for suicide. One is being really drunk. Another is to punish others. Sometimes suicide is a supremely selfish and narcissistic act, and I don't see anything wrong with saying so.
 
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