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Thread: Man jailed for beating up his childhood rapist

  1. #101
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    Re: Man jailed for beating up his childhood rapist

    Quote Originally Posted by justabubba View Post
    yes. why didn't that seven year old kid beat up the pedophile instead


    rhetorical question. but i bet you know the answer
    Actually, 20-something was wrong. It was actually 35 years. Did you not get the point of my post? This guy has apparently been living in torment for 35 freakin' years. The priest won. On both counts. The victim let this sordid episode ruin his life for 35 years, and then will have the extra punishment of being tried for beating up an old man. He should have used part of the $325,000 settlement he got to get himself some help.

    Posts on this thread show that we are all too willing to label someone a victim and excuse their behavior. Yes, it happened to him. Yes, it was a terrible thing. But the fact that he let it destroy his life is all on him.
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    Re: Man jailed for beating up his childhood rapist

    Quote Originally Posted by MaggieD View Post
    Actually, 20-something was wrong. It was actually 35 years. Did you not get the point of my post? This guy has apparently been living in torment for 35 freakin' years. The priest won. On both counts. The victim let this sordid episode ruin his life for 35 years, and then will have the extra punishment of being tried for beating up an old man. He should have used part of the $325,000 settlement he got to get himself some help.

    Posts on this thread show that we are all too willing to label someone a victim and excuse their behavior. Yes, it happened to him. Yes, it was a terrible thing. But the fact that he let it destroy his life is all on him.
    another episode of 'blame the victim' for being victimized
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    Re: Man jailed for beating up his childhood rapist

    Quote Originally Posted by justabubba View Post
    another episode of 'blame the victim' for being victimized
    Not at all. And here's why.

    Post-victimhood, you have choices to make (at least once adulthood is reached). You can choose to let the torment fester for more than three decades - or you can seek approaches that allow you to end the mental torture.

    What is happening on this thread is supporting a very unhealthy behavior for the people who suffered through some form of childhood sexual abuse.

    The "child" didn't have a choice. He was assaulted by the priest. There is obviously no fault to be placed on him. Most likely, what the victim was suffering from was blaming himself for what happened. Guilt is a massive issue - especially in male victims. They look back at the childhood version of themselves and ask why that child "let it happen". Of course, the answer is the child didn't "let it happen". He was either physically coerced or tricked into it happening.

    I've been through this already so I don't need to go into more detail. But the point is this: if one has suffered a trauma and is still suffering from the lasting mental effects, one should seek treatment for it.

    Let's say you know the person who gave you the flu. Let's pretend they did so on purpose (how they would do that, I don't know, but follow me for a minute). Let's say you never seek treatment for the flu and it turns into something worse like pneumonia. If you don't seek treatment, you're going to suffer some pretty severe consequences. Does beating up the person who intentionally gave you the flu make you better? The answer should be obvious.

    In allowing himself to suffer for that many years, he allowed the priest to continue making him a victim.

    I'm just sick to death that people think that the only option for those of us who have been victimized in this way is to suffer forever. That seems to be the train of thought around here. And it's dangerous. It says to kids who suffer today that their lives are forever ruined, when they're not. There are effective ways of getting past it.

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    Re: Man jailed for beating up his childhood rapist

    Quote Originally Posted by FilmFestGuy View Post
    What is happening on this thread is supporting a very unhealthy behavior for the people who suffered through some form of childhood sexual abuse. -- snip -- And it's dangerous. It says to kids who suffer today that their lives are forever ruined, when they're not. There are effective ways of getting past it.
    Exactly!!!
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    Re: Man jailed for beating up his childhood rapist

    I believe in law and order so I can't possibly support his action.
    I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality. - MLK

  6. #106
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    Re: Man jailed for beating up his childhood rapist

    Quote Originally Posted by FilmFestGuy View Post
    Not at all. And here's why.

    Post-victimhood, you have choices to make (at least once adulthood is reached). You can choose to let the torment fester for more than three decades - or you can seek approaches that allow you to end the mental torture.

    What is happening on this thread is supporting a very unhealthy behavior for the people who suffered through some form of childhood sexual abuse.

    The "child" didn't have a choice. He was assaulted by the priest. There is obviously no fault to be placed on him. Most likely, what the victim was suffering from was blaming himself for what happened. Guilt is a massive issue - especially in male victims. They look back at the childhood version of themselves and ask why that child "let it happen". Of course, the answer is the child didn't "let it happen". He was either physically coerced or tricked into it happening.

    I've been through this already so I don't need to go into more detail. But the point is this: if one has suffered a trauma and is still suffering from the lasting mental effects, one should seek treatment for it.

    Let's say you know the person who gave you the flu. Let's pretend they did so on purpose (how they would do that, I don't know, but follow me for a minute). Let's say you never seek treatment for the flu and it turns into something worse like pneumonia. If you don't seek treatment, you're going to suffer some pretty severe consequences. Does beating up the person who intentionally gave you the flu make you better? The answer should be obvious.

    In allowing himself to suffer for that many years, he allowed the priest to continue making him a victim.

    I'm just sick to death that people think that the only option for those of us who have been victimized in this way is to suffer forever. That seems to be the train of thought around here. And it's dangerous. It says to kids who suffer today that their lives are forever ruined, when they're not. There are effective ways of getting past it.
    maybe i have missed it, but i do not recall seeing any forum members advocating abused children suffering forever
    one effective way of getting past it is to stand up and confront the person who abused you
    maybe not the most civilized approach but it can be seen as an opportunity to release the accumulated rage that has been building within the victim against the pedophile

    i applaud your ability to be able to shirk your own victimization off
    i could not do it, but i admire your ability to either forget and/or forgive and move on
    but there are some of us who were raised to stand up for what we believe is right and against that which is wrong. and there are instances when that translates to physical behavior ... as has been demonstrated in this case
    we are negotiating about dividing a pizza and in the meantime israel is eating it
    once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed

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    Re: Man jailed for beating up his childhood rapist

    Quote Originally Posted by justabubba View Post
    maybe i have missed it, but i do not recall seeing any forum members advocating abused children suffering forever
    one effective way of getting past it is to stand up and confront the person who abused you
    maybe not the most civilized approach but it can be seen as an opportunity to release the accumulated rage that has been building within the victim against the pedophile

    i applaud your ability to be able to shirk your own victimization off
    i could not do it, but i admire your ability to either forget and/or forgive and move on
    but there are some of us who were raised to stand up for what we believe is right and against that which is wrong. and there are instances when that translates to physical behavior ... as has been demonstrated in this case
    I get what you're saying - but when you say "there are some of us who were raised to stand up for what we believe is right and against that which is wrong. and there are instances when that translates to physical behavior ... as has been demonstrated in this case," you imply that I wasn't brought up to stand up for what we believe is right and against that which is wrong.

    And that's terribly insulting.

    You imply that 35-years worth of rage, a good beat down of the perp, followed by massive legal fees and possible jail time is "right"; and seeking support and therapy and moving on with my life, landing my dream career and being married all before the age of 40 is "wrong".

    That doesn't fit into my moral system. If I had a time machine, I'd travel back and if I could only get back to the moment my torment ended, the first thing I would've done was informed so the ahole would've gone to jail (likely juvie in his case - so honestly, don't know what really would've been done). Can't do that.

    I feel bad for the guy - obviously. But 35 years of rage, depression, suicide attempts, and feeling like his life was ruined? HOW was there no one around him to get him help? Especially in light of him receiving payments of over $600,000 in reparations. It's irresponsible that if he was this tormented for this long that his loved ones didn't seek out help for him or have him committed if he refused (with two suicide attempts, it wouldn't be hard to do).

    But his case is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. You're applauding the guy for doing these things instead of what would have been much better for himself. If you applaud the revenge beating, then you're essentially applauding the rage, depression, alcoholism, and suicide attempts. Because without those things, the beating doesn't happen. You can say, "Well, I'm glad he beat the guy down, but I don't with those other things on him..." - but someone who has moved on with their life wouldn't do it.

    To applaud the vigilantism is to applaud all of the mental problems this man suffered up to its point.

    If he'd tried to introduce a bill that lifts the statute of limitations for childhood sexual abuse or started a center to help kids who have been abused with the hundreds of thousands of dollars he received, then I'd applaud him.

    Wouldn't that have been much better revenge?

  8. #108
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    Re: Man jailed for beating up his childhood rapist

    Quote Originally Posted by apdst View Post
    Then, you would have stood in the way of the justice that the priest had coming and denied this man the justice that he waited so long for.

    Justice isn't always about the person that is on trial.
    Yes. In our justice system, justice is ALWAYS about the person that is on trial. Justice is about legality, NOT morality.
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    This is what I hate about politics the most, it turns people in snobbish egotistical self righteous dicks who allow their political beliefs, partisan attitudes, and 'us vs. them' mentality, to force them to deny reality.

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  9. #109
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    Re: Man jailed for beating up his childhood rapist

    Quote Originally Posted by Tucker Case View Post
    Actually, I'm going to partly disagree about saying there was definitely a far more effective way of dealing with this situation psychologically. I'm not sure of all of the reasearch on the subject, but it's possible that administering a beating could be the most effective way of dealing with it from a psychological standpoint for a certain individual (of course, we don't know if it would be for this specific individual, but it's reasonable to assume that for at least some individuals, revenge is the most effective from of closure). I'm defining "effective" as providing the "maximum healing benefits" in this context.

    That being said, I would agree that there are far better ways to deal with this situation, psychologically, when one considers maximum healing benefit AND a lack of negative consequences as the determination of "better".

    However, if one defines "effective" as providing "maximum healing benefit with minimal detriment to the individual", then I would agree with you.
    Your last sentence is how I would define "effective".
    "Never fear. Him is here" - Captain Chaos (Dom DeLuise), Cannonball Run

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wiseone View Post
    This is what I hate about politics the most, it turns people in snobbish egotistical self righteous dicks who allow their political beliefs, partisan attitudes, and 'us vs. them' mentality, to force them to deny reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Navy Pride View Post
    You can't paint everone with the same brush.......It does not work tht way.


    Quote Originally Posted by Wessexman View Post
    See with you around Captain we don't even have to make arguments, as you already know everything .
    Quote Originally Posted by CriticalThought View Post
    Had you been born elsewhere or at a different time you may very well have chosen a different belief system.
    Quote Originally Posted by ernst barkmann View Post
    It a person has faith they dont need to convince another of it, and when a non believer is not interested in listening to the word of the lord, " you shake the dust from your sandels and move on"

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    Re: Man jailed for beating up his childhood rapist

    Quote Originally Posted by apdst View Post
    That's how I define serving justice.
    Your definition is an emotional one, not a legal one.
    "Never fear. Him is here" - Captain Chaos (Dom DeLuise), Cannonball Run

    ====||:-D

    Quote Originally Posted by Wiseone View Post
    This is what I hate about politics the most, it turns people in snobbish egotistical self righteous dicks who allow their political beliefs, partisan attitudes, and 'us vs. them' mentality, to force them to deny reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Navy Pride View Post
    You can't paint everone with the same brush.......It does not work tht way.


    Quote Originally Posted by Wessexman View Post
    See with you around Captain we don't even have to make arguments, as you already know everything .
    Quote Originally Posted by CriticalThought View Post
    Had you been born elsewhere or at a different time you may very well have chosen a different belief system.
    Quote Originally Posted by ernst barkmann View Post
    It a person has faith they dont need to convince another of it, and when a non believer is not interested in listening to the word of the lord, " you shake the dust from your sandels and move on"

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