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Thread: 1 Ohio school, 4 bullied teens dead at own hand

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    Re: 1 Ohio school, 4 bullied teens dead at own hand

    Quote Originally Posted by Catz Part Deux View Post
    I think that there are multiple reasons for that. Parents in private schools are more likely to be heavily involved (many require the parents to contribute service hours). Private schools are smaller. Private schools tend to be more ethnically/religiously/economically homogeneous. Private schools tend to have more students with intact families.

    There are probably more reasons but now I'm tired of listing them.

    In our community, there are really only 2 private high schools that my kids could attend. One is whackdoo religious and the other is extremely expensive (and has a major drug problem). I'm okay with my kids being in public schools.
    many private schools in the cincinnati area are actually more diverse in terms of race and creed. (well the real private schools-the catholic schools-no surprise-don't feature many holy rollers Muslims or Jews). the school my kid goes to has Asians, Muslim Arabs, Jews, Catholics, Greek Orthodox etc

    the white suburban schools or inner city black schools are less diverse



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    Re: 1 Ohio school, 4 bullied teens dead at own hand

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Patriot View Post
    If there weren't any public schools then this wouldn't have happened. Bullies don't last long in private schools.
    I went to a private school for part of my education. It was MUCH worse there than it was in public school.

    I don't know why you think that.

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    Re: 1 Ohio school, 4 bullied teens dead at own hand

    Why can some people handle it - and others can't?

    Unless they focus on the individual problems student to student - psychologically, etc - they'll never actually figure it out.
    I'm no expert, yet the whole focus of the bully process is to get you to focus on something that they can disrupt, and then show their 'dominance' by disrupting it. If you don't let them get to get your mind to small as to say that whatever they are out to dominate is so important that you are 'less', or even 'as good as dead' without it, then they fail. This is where a faith that focuses on God's full nature, and notes how deeply we are in God, comes to give a means to conquer such diminution of potentials noted by our minds. Such a person needs God themselves more than you might ever imagine.

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    Re: 1 Ohio school, 4 bullied teens dead at own hand

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregory MELLOTT View Post
    May I ask how much of a drug abuse problem there was?
    Pretty bad. The problem is the town was big in terms of area, but everything was very far apart and there was almost no public transit. Massive amounts of boredom, zero availability for birth control, and no real transportation equals an epidemic of teen pregnancy, STD's, drug and alcohol abuse. Consequently, suicides were incredibly high.
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    Re: 1 Ohio school, 4 bullied teens dead at own hand

    I deal with both private and public schools every day. From a percentage standpoint, I see little or no difference in the amount of bullying between the two. I've worked with kids that have transferred from private to public or vice versa because of bullying. The impact that bullying has on a kid depends on several factors. The intensity of the bullying; the amount of people involved in the bullying; whether the school has a bullying policy or not; whether the school acts on the reports of bullying; and, probably most importantly, the individual psychological make-up of the kid being bullied.

    If we look at things from a suicide standpoint, again, I have seen little or no difference, percentage-wise between private and public schools in my area. The reasons for suicidality, however, do seem to often have a different focus, if they are school based, between the two. For kids in private schools, the most likely cause I've seen for suicidality is overwork, being pushed too hard, and feeling as if they are not reaching expectations. For those in public schools, socialization issues are more likely the cause. My perception is that this is based on the fact that many of the private schools in my area are FAR more homogeneous than those that are public. This tends to foster far more pressure, whereas the increased diversity of public schools can create more social issues.

    At least this has been what I have seen.
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    Re: 1 Ohio school, 4 bullied teens dead at own hand

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainCourtesy View Post
    I deal with both private and public schools every day. From a percentage standpoint, I see little or no difference in the amount of bullying between the two. I've worked with kids that have transferred from private to public or vice versa because of bullying. The impact that bullying has on a kid depends on several factors. The intensity of the bullying; the amount of people involved in the bullying; whether the school has a bullying policy or not; whether the school acts on the reports of bullying; and, probably most importantly, the individual psychological make-up of the kid being bullied.
    Well, you speak of this as though it is some grand experiment going on to measure the tolerance of our children. As any adult would have legal recourse against individuals who constantly stalked, and harassed them under any number of laws, why are our children not protected the same way? Are the administrators, and teachers that incompetent?


    If we look at things from a suicide standpoint, again, I have seen little or no difference, percentage-wise between private and public schools in my area. The reasons for suicidality, however, do seem to often have a different focus, if they are school based, between the two. For kids in private schools, the most likely cause I've seen for suicidality is overwork, being pushed too hard, and feeling as if they are not reaching expectations. For those in public schools, socialization issues are more likely the cause. My perception is that this is based on the fact that many of the private schools in my area are FAR more homogeneous than those that are public. This tends to foster far more pressure, whereas the increased diversity of public schools can create more social issues.

    At least this has been what I have seen.
    Our school system should not be a social experiment for the liberal elite that run the education system.


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    Re: 1 Ohio school, 4 bullied teens dead at own hand

    Quote Originally Posted by liblady View Post
    this article makes me sick, in that those nasty kids will get away with deplorable behavior and only become more despicable adults.
    I'll never cease to be blown away at how Liberals get all hyped over stuff like this, yet they are the world's worst at ridiculing those who are different than they are. Trully amazing.
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    At least Bill saved his transgressions for grown women. Not suggesting what he did was OK. But he didn't chase 14 year olds.

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    Re: 1 Ohio school, 4 bullied teens dead at own hand

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregory MELLOTT View Post
    I'm no expert, yet the whole focus of the bully process is to get you to focus on something that they can disrupt, and then show their 'dominance' by disrupting it. If you don't let them get to get your mind to small as to say that whatever they are out to dominate is so important that you are 'less', or even 'as good as dead' without it, then they fail. This is where a faith that focuses on God's full nature, and notes how deeply we are in God, comes to give a means to conquer such diminution of potentials noted by our minds. Such a person needs God themselves more than you might ever imagine.
    Man's belief in God has fostered or given firm belief and strength to the most terrifying 'bullying' possible. Where some might lean on God for support and strength - just as many lean on him to *be* the bully (Islamic extremism and their intolerance, Westboro Baptist - to name just two things).

    So I don't feel that suggesting 'God is a strength and purpose for people who are bullied or are the bully' is true or going to lead anywhere positive.
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    Re: 1 Ohio school, 4 bullied teens dead at own hand

    I have noticed that a common thread in all of the recent "teen girl bullying suicides"- these, Phoebe Prince, Hope Witsell, Jessica Logan- is that the bullying is sexual in nature; the bullies taunt the victims by calling the "sluts" and "whores"; in all cases, this is because of something the victims have done: texted nude photos to a boy, had sex with a boy.

    There's a moral here; IMO, it is not that teenage girls shouldn't have sex or have sexual relationships.
    It's that they shouldn't care what people think about it.

    When I was a teenager, I slept with a lot of guys (and a few girls), and I didn't care who knew it. I mean, everybody knew it- I had a kid when I was fifteen. And another when I was seventeen.

    I don't recall ever feeling one bit ashamed of anything I was doing. If I'd thought there was anything wrong with it, I wouldn't have done it, or I would've stopped doing it.
    It didn't concern me in the least that other, non-sexually-active teens might look down on me for it. I'm not sure it ever even occurred to me that they might. Maybe they did, and I just never noticed. I was pretty oblivious to that sort of thing: very singularly focused on my own goals and schemes and plans, not much concerned about what anyone thought.

    I think part of it was the time in which I grew up: the 80s, the early 90s. It was a more sexually liberal era than today.
    Part of it was my own upbringing, in the context of this more sexually-liberal culture: I felt pretty good about myself when I was young. But I did not feel very good about being a kid. I grew up believing- whether this was consciously instilled in me, or whether I simply inferred it- that being a child was a pretty lame condition, that it was better to be grown up, and that I ought to try to get there as soon as possible. My sexuality was part of who I was; I accepted that. It did not define me in my entirety, but it was one facet of who I was. It never occurred to me that it might be considered unacceptable. If someone had suggested that my sexuality was an unacceptable thing and ought to be repressed, I would've figured something was wrong with them, not with me.

    I did feel kind of bad when I was always the smallest kid in my class, when I was the only girl in fifth grade who had not started developing breasts, the only girl in seventh who had not started her period.
    I mean, my self-esteem remained intact throughout this, but it was frustrating. Mentally, I was older than my years. Mentally, I already had sexual feelings. I already felt like an adult. But I was still trapped in this child's body. Around fourteen, I finally went through puberty, and immediately began seeking out sexual adventures. I was an intrepid and adventurous and curious young person. That had always been my personality. It extended to my sexuality as well. I had only been waiting for my body to catch up with the rest of me.

    Anyway- writing this now, in the context of today's socio-political climate- it sounds wrong.
    It sounds like there was something wrong with me.
    But it didn't feel that way then, and it still doesn't feel that way now.
    It was my life. My personality- my wants, my will- was the engine that drove it.
    I couldn't wait to be grown up, in every possible way. Because I had felt like an adult trapped in a child's body all my life, and I hated being a kid. I loved my family, I liked my teachers, my friends- I liked my circumstances well enough. I just hated being small and powerless. I wanted to be an adult, and have the power and freedom that adults have.
    To me, sexuality was part of that. It was a necessary component of becoming an adult as quickly as humanly possible.

    And so. Well, I've digressed, but my point is, if a peer had teased and taunted me by calling me a "slut", I wouldn't have cared. I might or might not have done something to put her in her place, depending on who it was and what kind of mood I happened to be in that day. Either way, I wouldn't have given a crap about her opinion. I did whatever I wanted. I didn't have much concern for what others thought about that. They weren't the ones living my life. I felt society in general supported me in my opinion that sexuality was good, that female sexuality specifically was an avenue to freedom and power, and that being an adult was waaaay better than being a child. Maybe I was delusional, I don't know, but that is definitely the clear message I was getting back then. I don't think the yapping of a few ignorant virgins who didn't even know what sex was would've fazed me in the least. I would've just assumed- correctly- that they didn't know what they were talking about, but that eventually they'd figure it out.

    Maybe, as a society, we need to get back to the more liberal place we were twenty years ago, in regard to sex, specifically female sexuality. It felt like an emotionally healthier place.
    Sex- and sexuality, and being overtly sexual- felt like empowerment then, not like some sort of shameful victimization.

    Perhaps more teenagers were having more sex at a younger age, but at least they weren't hanging themselves in their closets. And if you have sex- whether it's good or bad, or even if you regret it at some future time- you still live to fight another day. You just chalk it up to experience and move on.
    But if you hang yourself in your closet, there are no more days. No more chances.

    That's my two cents, anyway.
    Last edited by 1069; 10-09-10 at 12:48 PM.

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    Re: 1 Ohio school, 4 bullied teens dead at own hand

    Quote Originally Posted by Catz Part Deux View Post
    "the way it looks to an outsider" isn't exactly evidence.
    Calling out "whacko religious schools" isn't exactly evidence either. Unless you have a link. ;-) Get off my ass.
    The devil whispered in my ear, "You cannot withstand the storm." I whispered back, "I am ​the storm."

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