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Thread: Student kills himself after gay sex footage put online

  1. #101
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    Re: Student kills himself after gay sex footage put online

    Quote Originally Posted by RightinNYC View Post
    What are you basing this on? From his own words, he says he spoke to the RA between the night of the 21st and the early morning of the 22nd.
    And I quote from his post...

    I texted roomie around 7 asking for the room later tonight and he said it was fine.

    when I got back to the room I instantly noticed he had turned the webcam toward my bed. And he had posted online again....saying...."anyone want a free show just video chat me tonight"...or something similar to that....

    soooo after that.....

    I ran to the nearest RA and set this thing in motion.....
    we'll see what happens......
    By any indication it seems this happened around 7pm on the 21st. He only posted about it on JUB at 3-4am on the 22nd. Had this happened at my university, being a criminal matter, it would have been reported and the roommates would have immediately been separated to avoid further escalation.

    Quote Originally Posted by RightinNYC
    The guy was dead by the night of the 22nd. I think it's unreasonable to assume that the school should have moved him immediately, particularly when the guy himself wasn't even sure if he wanted to move.
    Maybe his attitude was this on the morning of the 21st....

    so I decided to fill out the room change request form....its not guaranteed that you get a change...and i don't have to switch if I change my mind or work things out over the next week (they won't start filling requests until next week)...but I figure I might as well as see what they can offer me....
    But after his roommate did it again on the night of the 21st, this is how he felt...

    I haven't even seen my roommate since sunday when i was asking for the room the first time...and him doing it again just set me off....so talking to him just didn't seem like an option....
    It's a crime! You don't keep two roommates together when one is committing crimes against the other!
    Last edited by CriticalThought; 10-01-10 at 12:19 AM.

  2. #102
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    Re: Student kills himself after gay sex footage put online

    Quote Originally Posted by apdst View Post
    I see. Do these RA's have any real training, or are they just there to keep the kids from getting out of hand?

    I reckon if an RA is in charge of a single floor, there is someone in charge of the entire dorm?

    Are these folks students, or working professionals?
    Dammit, you edited your post!

    The dorm is administered by university staff. The RA's provide cheap labor for large dorms. For instance, I lived my first semester at Kansas in a dorm that housed 750 people on ten floors, with each floor having three wings. It's way too expensive to have full-time staff on each and every wing of each and every floor, so they pay a grad student to do the light administrative work that is needed in each wing.

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    Re: Student kills himself after gay sex footage put online

    Quote Originally Posted by apdst View Post
    I agree with that 100%, until it comes time to protect them from their own stupidity; which is impossible.
    How can you agree with my post but then make such an asinine comment? You obviously don't even understand what suicide is or what it means.

    Boiling suicide down to stupidity just shows complete and utter ignorance on your part. But I know you're not exactly in favour of homosexuality, so I guess you will skew this as much as possible to blame the victim here.

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    Re: Student kills himself after gay sex footage put online

    Quote Originally Posted by Orion View Post
    How can you agree with my post but then make such an asinine comment? You obviously don't even understand what suicide is or what it means.

    Boiling suicide down to stupidity just shows complete and utter ignorance on your part. But I know you're not exactly in favour of homosexuality, so I guess you will skew this as much as possible to blame the victim here.
    I'm ignoring him from now on. Anyone who thinks that hitting another human being out of distress is smart but hurting yourself out of distress is stupid is probably not someone to take seriously.

  5. #105
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    Re: Student kills himself after gay sex footage put online

    Quote Originally Posted by apdst View Post
    I see. Do these RA's have any real training, or are they just there to keep the kids from getting out of hand?

    I reckon if an RA is in charge of a single floor, there is someone in charge of the entire dorm?

    Are these folks students, or working professionals?
    I was an RA my last two years of school. You get a few weeks of specialized training, mostly dealing with getting kids to socialize properly and avoiding suicides.

    Quote Originally Posted by CriticalThought View Post
    And I quote from his post...

    By any indication it seems this happened around 7pm on the 21st. He only posted about it on JUB at 3-4am on the 22nd.
    He said he texted his roommate at 7 and then when he got home, he saw the camera, shut it off, went to the RA, and then had a great time. He doesn't say the order, but either way, the point is that it was brought up to the RA one evening and the guy was dead the next. Not a lot of time to act.

    Had this happened at my university, being a criminal matter, it would have been reported and the roommates would have immediately been separated to avoid further escalation.
    Couple problems with this:

    First, it's not apparent that it was actually a criminal matter at that point (or ever, for that matter). As he himself said, the webcam watching only occurred once and the camera was positioned in a way that the guy could only see him making out, not actually having sex.

    Secondly, we don't know exactly what he told the RA. If he made it out just as "my roommate watched me make out using a webcam and thought it was funny," that sounds like a run of the mill prank. If someone had come to me with that, I don't know that it would have immediately come across as being serious. Nevertheless, this guy said the RA took it seriously, which is good on him.

    Third, every school has emergency housing for situations where a person doesn't feel comfortable living with their roommate. In the situations where I had residents use it, it involved people who had been sexually assaulted, people who had tried to kill themselves, or people who had been beaten by boyfriends. Without the benefit of hindsight, this is not in that same class.

    Fourth, how do you know that the RA didn't offer him that option? From the guy's language and stated actions, it certainly doesn't sound like he was so distraught that he couldn't stand the thought of spending another night there. It's completely plausible that he was informed of that option but declined to pack everything up to move out immediately.

    The point is that we just don't know enough yet, so it's much too early to be blaming the school for this.
    People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

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    Re: Student kills himself after gay sex footage put online

    Quote Originally Posted by RightinNYC View Post
    The point is that we just don't know enough yet, so it's much too early to be blaming the school for this.
    I agree. There are too many blanks. And while I think a 24 hour period is more than enough time to move a student to a new room, I am not going to split hairs before all the facts are out.

    What is clear that he was, at least, putting up a front regarding his feelings on this issue. If not, then something significant must have happened on the day he jumped. From reading the news stories, it is not clear whether he was even out to his friends and family about his sexuality. Despite appearing to be very comfortable with it on JUB, he may have been very secretive about it in real life. If that were the case, then it may have been the shame of being outed in such a public manner that drove him to take his own life. If this were the case, then the people who are most at fault were those who violated his privacy and who chose to make fun of him purely for his sexual orientation. If the facts support this hypothesis, then those two individuals are quite worthy of not only the privacy invasion charges, but also additional bias intimidation charges. I would then hope they end up in prison for a long, long time, so that no one will ever try anything like this again.

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    Re: Student kills himself after gay sex footage put online

    Those close to Clementi knew him as a gifted violinist who had played with the Ridgewood Symphony Orchestra in high school and won scholarships and awards for his musical talents. At Rutgers, he was a rarity — a freshman who wasn't majoring in music but who played in a competitive, graduate-level orchestra.

    Good article

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    Re: Student kills himself after gay sex footage put online

    Quote Originally Posted by CriticalThought View Post
    Despite appearing to be very comfortable with it on JUB, he may have been very secretive about it in real life. If that were the case, then it may have been the shame of being outed in such a public manner that drove him to take his own life. If this were the case, then the people who are most at fault were those who violated his privacy and who chose to make fun of him purely for his sexual orientation.
    Am I the only one who feels he would have been seriously upset if he'd been secretly filmed and broadcast with a woman? This isn't something that the whole world is meant to see. Nobody wants to go naked before the world, never mind what was actually happening.

    I wonder if his partner would have a civil case in addition to the criminal case being filed. We've heard nothing about the man who was also broadcast.

  9. #109
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    Re: Student kills himself after gay sex footage put online

    Quote Originally Posted by BDBoop View Post
    Am I the only one who feels he would have been seriously upset if he'd been secretly filmed and broadcast with a woman? This isn't something that the whole world is meant to see. Nobody wants to go naked before the world, never mind what was actually happening.

    I wonder if his partner would have a civil case in addition to the criminal case being filed. We've heard nothing about the man who was also broadcast.
    The only thing that was broadcast was some kissing. There was no "gay sex footage," media hysterics notwithstanding.
    People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

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    Re: Student kills himself after gay sex footage put online

    Quote Originally Posted by BDBoop View Post
    I wonder if his partner would have a civil case in addition to the criminal case being filed. We've heard nothing about the man who was also broadcast.
    I think it was just a hook up.

    Quote Originally Posted by RightinNYC View Post
    The only thing that was broadcast was some kissing. There was no "gay sex footage," media hysterics notwithstanding.
    That is what I find all the more intriguing about this. There is no way for knowing for sure what was broadcasted.

    I doubt the police would have arrested them had it simply been kissing. I don't know the law in New Jersey, but I believe it is only illegal if it is pornographic.
    Last edited by CriticalThought; 10-01-10 at 06:00 AM.

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