I agree. The Hippocratic Oath is so outdated. :mrgreen:
I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:
I will respect the fact that
Global warming is false, any of those physicians in whose steps I disagree with, I shall gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.
I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required
(as long as they pay for it, and don't vote for Obama), avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.
I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy,
political discourse and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.
I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery
(except if that person voted for Obama).
I will respect the privacy of my patients
(except their political beliefs), for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty
(except that I know that my political beliefs are better then others). Above all, I must not play at God
(except if the person in question voted for Obama).
I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being
(who didn't vote for Obama), whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.
I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure
(except if that person voted for Obama, in which case his death will result in one less vote for him).
I will remember that I remain a member of society
(as long as it's strictly anti-Obama), with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm
(except those Commie Obama Supporters).
If I do not violate this oath
(except if someone Supports Socialism), may I enjoy life and art
(and discrimination based on Political Belief), respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter
(only by true Americans). May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help
(AS LONG AS THEY DID NOT SUPPORT OBAMA).