You do understand how insurance works, right? You pay your monthly amount, and other people put into the pot, and it's calculated on the costs and risks of the whole?
Yes, that is how it works, roughly, but your premiums, and other premiums are not the sole funding mechanism of the insurance pool, as well, you don't get an "equal" share of the pool, it exists for when you need it.
So, no, Granny isn't likely paying for that expensive surgery. WE ALL ARE. And yeah, I feel like I should have a say in the matter. Particularly when the system is on the verge of bankruptcy, and it may deprive my child, who has a good 90 years ahead of him, of a necessary procedure.
First, "Granny" is most likely in the Medicare system, at least parts A & B, and she probably has supplemental, which would mean she isn't in the same pool that your family is in. Secondly, if "Granny" was in the same pool, for the most part, because of her advanced age she is probably paying a higher premium than your entire family and possibly a higher deductible. Third, you all have access to the risk pool, which means that the operation for "Granny" does not deprive your family of any necessary procedures, a doctor padding a bill with an unnecessary test, or who is not concerned enough to justify a test that looked like he was padding a bill would though. So no, it isn't your call exactly, sorry if I sound harsh.
We can't do everything for everyone. That's why we're in the mess we are right now.
Oh it goes beyond that, the government has been screwing the health industry for over a century incrimentally in this country, we have a combination of more grandiose overregulation and the accumulative effect of the more minor ones creating this horrid mess we're in today.