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Thread: Lessons about wife-beating at five years old

  1. #11
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    Re: Lessons about wife-beating at five years old

    By the time my son was 5, he already knew that it was not okay to beat up on, or even play too rough with, little girls or smaller children. He'd also been taught that it is not ok to injure someone except in self-defense, and had a working knowlege of what "self-defense" meant.

    On the other hand, "roughhousing", or play-fighting, was acceptible between boys who were approximate physical equals and willing participants, according to what I taught him. I don't see anything wrong with it, it is perfectly natural and it toughens them up, as long as it doesn't get out of hand. When someone starts crying or loses their temper and goes ape****, then its out of hand and time for an adult to put a stop to it.

    All his childhood he's been taught to treat those smaller/weaker/younger/etc (especially females) with compassion and protectiveness, and never with abuse. At 13, he is (in my admittedly biased opinion) a pretty good balance of being a tough kid who can take care of himself, while at the same time being gentlemanly towards ladies and trustworthy to watch after small children responsibly.

    One of the real challenges to this was his younger half-sister. She was not raised with the kind of discipline that I raised him in, and was a bit of a problem. She knew exactly how to aggravate him beyond his endurance, just which buttons to push to infuriate him, and did so with a will...including some minor violence. He had to be restrained a couple of times from putting a big smack-down on her when she'd pushed it a few gazillion light-years too far.

    Fortunately she seems to be growing out of that lately.

    Boys have to be taught to be gentlemanly towards girls, it isn't a natural trait. I'd rather see it done at home, myself.

    Violent femmes are a problem, moreso these days than used to be the case. A good many men who are in jail for domestic violence don't necessarily deserve it... they are there because they finally retaliated physically after months or years of physical and psychological abuse by their wife/SO. I'm not overgeneralizing, it isn't so in all cases...but it is so in maybe 30-50% in my rather experienced opinion.

    As an aside, I'd like to throw out a smidgeon of advice for the ladies: when you and your man have been having a big loud argument, and he's angry and red in the face and fuming, that is NOT a good time to slap him, grab him, or otherwise engage in any rough physical contact. His temper is up, along with his instinctive defenses, and if you provoke him physically just then, even a normally mild-mannered man might deck you.

    G.

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    Re: Lessons about wife-beating at five years old

    Quote Originally Posted by Richard Nixon View Post
    What's wrong with this? I see nothing wrong with implementing morals of this kind at a young age. There's a psychological pattern in wife beaters that usually follows on from their fathers beating their mothers, a lack of empathy for the pain of others, a need for control etc etc. Teach them that these are illogical and wrong and you can potentially reap the benefits.
    The problem is that domestic violence is far more complex than males = violent abusers and females = victims.

    Women tend to assault men just as frequently as men assault women, but men almost never report it as abuse.

    So, this is perpetuating a feminist stereotype about men, and is not based on facts.

    REFERENCES EXAMINING ASSAULTS BY WOMEN ON THEIR SPOUSES OR MALE PARTNERS: AN ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY

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    Re: Lessons about wife-beating at five years old

    Quote Originally Posted by Coolguy View Post
    Sure they should.
    But I see no problem with them teaching generalities like I suggested because as we all know many parents do not carry through with their responsibilities.
    Then maybe the children shouldn't be with the parents.

    And one of the things that makes me especially angry is that witch i call a DPM is forcing this through and shelves plans on rape law reform.


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    Re: Lessons about wife-beating at five years old

    Quote Originally Posted by Goshin View Post
    One of the real challenges to this was his younger half-sister. She was not raised with the kind of discipline that I raised him in, and was a bit of a problem. She knew exactly how to aggravate him beyond his endurance, just which buttons to push to infuriate him, and did so with a will...including some minor violence. He had to be restrained a couple of times from putting a big smack-down on her when she'd pushed it a few gazillion light-years too far.
    Lmao, you grow out of it? :P

    My brothers restrain themselves very very well (even when they deserve a smack) against my younger sisters, they both love pushing their buttons and one day it'll tip my brothers off the edge and they are going to get a smack they won't forget and rightly so


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    Re: Lessons about wife-beating at five years old

    Quote Originally Posted by Catz Part Deux View Post
    So, this is perpetuating a feminist stereotype about men, and is not based on facts.

    REFERENCES EXAMINING ASSAULTS BY WOMEN ON THEIR SPOUSES OR MALE PARTNERS: AN ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY
    Male domestic abuse is one of those things that is never discussed and it is a problem and should be addressed.


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    Re: Lessons about wife-beating at five years old

    Quote Originally Posted by Laila View Post
    Male domestic abuse is one of those things that is never discussed and it is a problem and should be addressed.
    The evidence is quite clear that women have just as many violent tendencies as men, and that they play a definite role in the cycle of abuse.

    Only women with an anti-man agenda would ignore the research on the issue....Only women who really hate men would try to push their anti-male agenda on 5 year old boys.

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    Re: Lessons about wife-beating at five years old

    Quote Originally Posted by Councilman View Post
    I think it is fine to begin to teach everyone as early as possible about respect, honesty, ethics, commitment, personal responsibility, and moral values.
    Good so teaching kids that there is nothing wrong with being a homosexual is ok with you then, good to know. Oh wait, or is it you just want to teach the moral values YOU agree with?

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    Re: Lessons about wife-beating at five years old

    I think this research study, in particular, had an interesting finding:

    Capaldi, D. M., Kim, H. K., & Shortt, J. W. (2007). Observed initiation and reciprocity of physical aggression in young at-risk couples. Journal of Family Therapy, 22 (2) 101-111. (A longitudinal study using subjects from the Oregon Youth and Couples Study. <see above> Subjects were assessed 4 times across a 9 year period from late adolescence to mid-20's. Findings reveal that young women's rate of initiation of physical violence was "two times higher than men's during late adolescence and young adulthood." By mid-20's the rate of initiation was about equal. Mutual aggression increased the likelihood of injury for both men and women.)

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    Re: Lessons about wife-beating at five years old

    Quote Originally Posted by Catz Part Deux View Post
    The evidence is quite clear that women have just as many violent tendencies as men, and that they play a definite role in the cycle of abuse.

    Only women with an anti-man agenda would ignore the research on the issue....Only women who really hate men would try to push their anti-male agenda on 5 year old boys.
    But ofc, i mean we only have to remember back to our highschool/secondary school days and recall how truly spiteful, manipulative, violent some of the girls were.

    Not surprising tho is it? There is always some


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    Re: Lessons about wife-beating at five years old

    Quote Originally Posted by Laila View Post
    But ofc, i mean we only have to remember back to our highschool/secondary school days and recall how truly spiteful, manipulative, violent some of the girls were.

    Not surprising tho is it? There is always some
    I really hate, hate, hate the way that domestic violence is sold as a "men are evil" package. That is NOT how these relationships work.

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