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Thread: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by aps View Post
    My father's spanking was too harsh and too frequent, IMO. Had his discipline had been few and far in between, maybe I would feel differently.
    My father IMO balanced it well. He rarely ever spanked us kids, he used it as a last option. But we learned to never push it to that point. We learned quickly that it wasnt a place you wanted to be.

    My mother on the other hand used it way to frequently. She would spank me with an electrical cord for the smallest issues. By her using this method to frequently I think it actually hampered her efforts. I felt as a child I would be whipped regardless of behavior. So if I was going to get into trouble I made sure it was worth the whipping lol.
    Last edited by Baralis; 07-31-09 at 09:52 PM.

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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by kaya'08 View Post
    I know it was flawed and im sorry i even bothered posting it, i know we are all different. I suppose as a female things like that are engraved to you more, you are obviously more sensitive than i am towards these kinds of issues. I just wanted to help though because sometimes if those memories really do get to you just repeat the phrase "heck with it, i was just a kid" and maybe it will help it pass. Lol, as you can see, im not one to give advice.
    I understand. I try to be a loving daughter, and I tell my father I love him on a regular basis. I think he would be heartbroken if he knew it still bothered me.

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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by aps View Post
    Using physical behavior to discipline your child indicates a weakness in the parent, IMO. Plain and simple.
    Spare the rod, spoil the child.

    Was as true then as it is now.
    Climate, changes. It takes a particularly uneducated population to buy into the idea that it's their fault climate is changing and further political solutions can fix it.



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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by aps View Post
    I understand. I try to be a loving daughter, and I tell my father I love him on a regular basis. I think he would be heartbroken if he knew it still bothered me.
    Thats really cute of you that you keep it to yourself. Yes, we should all try to be the best parent and person we can (im still a teen so im not going to give parental advice).
    "If religious instruction were not allowed until the child had attained the age of reason, we would be living in quite a different world" - Christopher Hitchens
    > Good to be back, but I'm only visiting for a few weeks. <

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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by Laila View Post
    Why?
    If they earn it by doing something horrible, why not give it to them as a form of discipline?
    Because that would serve no practical purpose. It would do nothing to prepare them for the real world, a world where it is against the law for someone to physically strike you for any reason, and the only appropriate response to such assault is to call the police and have the assailant hauled off to jail.
    I did not want them to internalize the idea that if someone doesn't obey you, the appropriate response is to strike them.

    And why is it different for a female?
    Because adult females are more at risk of chronic physical abuse than adult males.
    They are more frequently the victims of domestic violence, and seem to have less recourse, given the fact that more women than men don't work outside the home and don't have monetary resources of their own to draw on, if they need to escape a situation.

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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by 1069 View Post
    Because adult females are more at risk of chronic physical abuse than adult males.
    They are more frequently the victims of domestic violence, and seem to have less recourse, given the fact that more women than men don't work outside the home and don't have monetary resources of their own to draw on, if they need to escape a situation.
    I'm not being obtuse, i am genuinely confused.
    What does the domestic abuse levels got to do with whether a female child should be spanked?

    Well call me old fashioned but i'd expect my children to listen and obey if i tell them to do something


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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by Laila View Post
    I'm not being obtuse, i am genuinely confused.
    What does the domestic abuse levels got to do with should a female child be spanked?

    Well call me old fashioned but i'd expect my children to listen and obey if i tell them to do something
    Sleep woman jesus.
    "If religious instruction were not allowed until the child had attained the age of reason, we would be living in quite a different world" - Christopher Hitchens
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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    I want to be clear. I am not saying that spanking or other forms of physical punishment cannot reach the point of abuse. But I do not believe that physical forms of punishment are always abuse. Like everything thing else more is not better.

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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by kaya'08 View Post
    Sleep woman jesus.
    I can't sleep lol
    Why aren't you in bed? You have a harder time than me getting up for Ken !


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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by Laila View Post
    I'm not being obtuse, i am genuinely confused.
    What does the domestic abuse levels got to do with whether a female child should be spanked?

    Well call me old fashioned but i'd expect my children to listen and obey if i tell them to do something
    Children are impressionable. In childhood, we are internalizing messages that we will carry in our subconscious for the rest of our lives. They will subtly guide and influence many of the adult decisions we make.
    I would not want to send any child of mine into the world with the message imprinted on his or her psyche that he/she deserves to be hit.

    I feel females are more vulnerable to such harmful messages, because- although our society is more enlightened than it's ever been- there is still an undercurrent of patriarchy, which makes some people (both male and female) believe that subversive women- women who fail to submit to the will of men, or a man- deserve to be disciplined like children.

    I cannot tell you how many times, when I worked in adult entertainment, I had a customer threaten me with physical harm. I was very fortunate that none of them ever followed through with these threats; I worked in some places that had a lot of security, and other places that were seedy dives where there was none.
    Despite the crazy and sometimes twisted life I've led, largely by choice, I came to adulthood with a feeling of entitlement: that nobody had the right to put their hands on me if I didn't want them to.
    I was raised that way, and I believe it has protected me and kept me safe.
    If a man ever pushed me, ever gripped my arm, ever even fronted up on me in a menacing posture... he'd be in jail before he had the chance to continue.
    I have no confusion about whether or not his behavior toward me is okay. I know it's not.
    I think, in some women, there's a hesitation there. Is this okay? Did I do something wrong?
    In that split second of self-doubt, like a dog sensing fear and weakness, an assailant feels entitled to move in and take control.


    Again, this is just my opinion, and we're moving rather far afield from the subject of disciplining children.
    Last edited by 1069; 07-31-09 at 10:09 PM.

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