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Thread: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

  1. #21
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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by aps View Post
    With my sister, she has not given her son structure or boundries. My father spanked us. To this day, I have a strained relationship. Throughout my childhood/adulthood, I have been aware of this underlying negative feeling I have towards him. I am ashamed to admit it. He has expressed his regret in spanking us, but the damage has been done. I used to have nightmares about my father because he scared me. I don't see how that is a positive thing. It may have worked to some extent with me, but not really. I remember doing things knowing it would result in a spanking, and yet I would still do it.

    I'll be interested to see how my discipline method compares to theirs. I have read this book that teaches you about showing respect to your child early on and that such respect is returned. We're talking about during the toddler years. We shall see.
    I'm sorry you went through that but not every case in the same.

    I love my Mom to death and she was sometimes very harsh with me. She did smack me and spank and i thank her to this day
    The discipline she taught me stays with me as does the manners and her lessons

    My Mom will never ever regret disciplining me, compared to what she went through (she was raised in Africa where there is no such thing as 'child abuse' - from the age of 9 she was cooking, cleaning, herding sheep and camels and working to earn her keep) i was in comparison a spoilt brat. My mom was too lenient on me imo

    You let me know how it turns out :P


  2. #22
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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by aps View Post
    With my sister, she has not given her son structure or boundries. My father spanked us. To this day, I have a strained relationship. Throughout my childhood/adulthood, I have been aware of this underlying negative feeling I have towards him. I am ashamed to admit it. He has expressed his regret in spanking us, but the damage has been done. I used to have nightmares about my father because he scared me. I don't see how that is a positive thing. It may have worked to some extent with me, but not really. I remember doing things knowing it would result in a spanking, and yet I would still do it.

    I'll be interested to see how my discipline method compares to theirs. I have read this book that teaches you about showing respect to your child early on and that such respect is returned. We're talking about during the toddler years. We shall see.
    Really, you was just a kid. You shouldnt let something this small get to you. My dad did it to me, infact i was 14 at the time and he seriously went for me. But at the end of the day you was a child and probably friggin deserved it. Tough luck, thats how you should view it. Unless your farther really stepped over the boundaries...or rather the fine line of disciplining your child and just being sheer abusive which my father has passed before. Again just take the view that you was "a kid and probably deserved it". Its no big deal but obviously i dont know what you have been through so i cant say anything.
    "If religious instruction were not allowed until the child had attained the age of reason, we would be living in quite a different world" - Christopher Hitchens
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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by Laila View Post
    I'm sorry you went through that but not every case in the same.

    I love my Mom to death and she was sometimes very harsh with me. She did smack me and spank and i thank her to this day
    The discipline she taught me stays with me as does the manners and her lessons

    My Mom will never ever regret disciplining me, compared to what she went through (she was raised in Africa where there is no such thing as 'child abuse' - from the age of 9 she was cooking, cleaning, herding sheep and camels and working to earn her keep) i was in comparison a spoilt brat. My mom was too lenient on me imo

    You let me know how it turns out :P
    My father's spanking was too harsh and too frequent, IMO. Had his discipline had been few and far in between, maybe I would feel differently.

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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by 1069 View Post
    So when you physically strike adults, you are arrested. Society does not condone this behavior on your part.
    But when you physically strike children, there is no consequence.
    Does this seem fair to you?
    Does it seem at all odd that society extends protection from physical violence to adults, but not to children?

    Your arrests seem not to have changed your views, nor deterred you from the behavior they were intended to deter you from.
    What would? Would being physically struck show you the error of your ways?
    And if no, why do you assume it will work on anyone?

    Does it show either the error of there ways? Probably not but it will show that you will not tolerate the behavior in your presence.

    With children you have little legal means to inforce the rules. If a child refuses to clean there room for example you cannot press charges.

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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by aps View Post
    My father's spanking was too harsh and too frequent, IMO. Had his discipline had been few and far in between, maybe I would feel differently.
    Were they done for no reason whatsoever/
    Did you as a child do anything to trigger it? Or did your father just do so out of some sort of sick pleasure?

    You probably would have, your own experience has affected how you see the entire debate.
    I got smacked when i deserved it


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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by kaya'08 View Post
    Really, you was just a kid. You shouldnt let something this small get to you. My dad did it to me, infact i was 14 at the time and he seriously went for me. But at the end of the day you was a child and probably friggin deserved it. Tough luck, thats how you should view it. Unless your farther really stepped over the boundaries...or rather the fine line of disciplining your child and just being sheer abusive which my father has passed before. Again just take the view that you was "a kid and probably deserved it". Its no big deal but obviously i dont know what you have been through so i cant say anything.
    You're a guy, and I know my brother doesn't feel the same way I do. We all respond differently to a similar set of facts. You're putting your own feelings on me. You don't even know me. I'm not angry at you--just pointing out your flawed logic.

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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    You probably would have, your own experience has affected how you see the entire debate.
    I got smacked when i deserved it
    That's the whole point, though.
    I never wanted my kids to believe they "deserved" to be physically struck, for whatever reason.
    I would've wanted it that much less, had they been female.

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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by aps View Post
    You're a guy, and I know my brother doesn't feel the same way I do. We all respond differently to a similar set of facts. You're putting your own feelings on me. You don't even know me. I'm not angry at you--just pointing out your flawed logic.
    I know it was flawed and im sorry i even bothered posting it, i know we are all different. I suppose as a female things like that are engraved to you more, you are obviously more sensitive than i am towards these kinds of issues. I just wanted to help though because sometimes if those memories really do get to you just repeat the phrase "heck with it, i was just a kid" and maybe it will help it pass. Lol, as you can see, im not one to give advice.
    "If religious instruction were not allowed until the child had attained the age of reason, we would be living in quite a different world" - Christopher Hitchens
    > Good to be back, but I'm only visiting for a few weeks. <

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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by Laila View Post
    Were they done for no reason whatsoever/
    Did you as a child do anything to trigger it? Or did your father just do so out of some sort of sick pleasure?

    You probably would have, your own experience has affected how you see the entire debate.
    I got smacked when i deserved it
    I probably deserved some of the discipline, but being late for dinner--I got spanked like I had committed a crime. Come on. I could never see my father doing it for some sort of sick pleasure. It was about his having a terrible temper problem.

    Interestingly, when I was 4 months pregnant, my twin sister and I had a verbal altercation, and she slapped me. My father was very quick to forgive her. Clearly the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Thank goodness that hasn't been passed onto me.

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    Re: High Court draws line between discipline and physical abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by 1069 View Post
    That's the whole point, though.
    I never wanted my kids to believe they "deserved" to be physically struck, for whatever reason.
    I would've wanted it that much less, had they been female.
    Why?
    If they earn it by doing something horrible, why not give it to them as a form of discipline?

    And why is it different for a female?


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