Here is the problem we keep encountering. You believe that the size of government is equal to the amount spent on it. This isn't true. If you spend a billion dollars on the military, it does not grow the size of government in the way that spending a billion dollars on, say, welfare does.
The main reason is, I gauge the size of government on how much it is allowed to intrude into our lives. When the government is paying for someone's groceries, it gives them a certain amount of power over that person. Also, it is OUR money that is footing the bill. So basically people who are standing on their own two feet are being forced to pay for those that aren't, which means the government is intruding into OUR lives as well.
I think the anatomy of a person would be a good analogy (as flaky as that sounds). Think of it this way. You can have a guy who weighs 250lbs, but has 30% body fat. On the other hand, you can have another guy who weighs the exact same thing, but at only 8% body fat, the difference being the man whose weight is attributed to muscle, rather than useless, disgusting fat, is going to be much more efficient in achieving his tasks.